I really think that my mother ought to be able to understand the concept of working from home

[duchesse]

She's driving me flipping NUTSO!!! She's been here since Boxing Day and that whole time I've been trying to get some work done. She seems to think that because I don't physically go out to work that what I do can't be that important. Every time I sit down to translate this flipping document she starts talking to me, asking me questions, consulting me on minutiae regarding meals and I swear I'm going to explode if she carries on. My wonderful au pair is away until tomorrow, and there is no way in the world that my mother is anything like a replacement for her. She KNOWS I'm supposed to be working because I keep saying I need to do some work, but will she bloody help me? Will she hell! Eve my bloody husband seems to think that working from home means I can look after the baby at the same time.

AAAAARRRRRRGH! I've had to throw a massive strop and shut myself in my bedroom just to get a little time unmolested by children or mother. Why don't they JUST understand?

I'm a mature student (25) studying for a degree in Social Work, as well as working part-time.

My mum rings quite often for a chat, which is fair enough and often I'm stressed because of essays and projects etc.

She doesn't seem to understand this, and still refers to my essays and stuff as "school work"

duchesse I really feel you. My DM would have a field day if I worked from home. She phones me at work in my 'proper job' to tell me crap really important stuff like she's bought me some Xmas decorations in the sales . And my lovely DF was on the phone to me today to give me an update on his ailments and listed all of his endless medication.

Bless them both - love them dearly but they really have forgotten what it's like not have all the time in the world to do your own thing.

Leave the kids with your mother and go find somewhere! take your lap top, and ipod to block out noise and go to your library or a coffee shop or even McDonalds. When I was doing my masters i literally perfected the art of working anywhere that my children werent. My all time fav place was the local university library ( just had to fill in a one off form to get admittance) on a Saturday morning- there was only ever me and librarian- all the students were snoring

Oh, and dont forget to save your work!

My entire family is doing my head in!!! Second snow day and the 16 yr old is more demanding than the baby, the au pair appears to have stopped understanding English and my deadline is looming larger than ever... How am I going to survive the next few days? My Mum has now gone, and was actually very helpful on her last day here (maybe she's reading MN?)

I have a similar problem when I work from home. Mum is now only allowed to come round for lunch during my lunch break. Otherwise she is barred.

YANBU, but YABU to think that your mother should be 'anything like a replacement' for your au-pair! She's your mother, not paid help!

YANBU.

My parents and in-laws all 'got' the idea of me working from home, so it can be done. If they ring in the daytime they generally ask if its convenient, don't just assume. It perhaps helped that I was doing the same job as I used to do in an office, and its necessarily 'sitting in front of a computer' as I write software

As for those spouses who think you can work at home and take care of children at the same time, ask them how many of their colleagues bring their toddlers to the office, how that's working out for them? Ask them to take a little time to imagine their workplace with toddlers there all day every day.

My mum is one of those people who doesn't get the working at home concept either, calls me to give out about my sister, whom she thinks should get a job, can't understand why sis's home is always covered in documents, papers...

Never answer the phone while you're working, and get a very business-like voice on your answering machine, preferably someone else's it can even be a neighbour saying you're away from your desk right now but will return calls if the callers leave their name and number.