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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about insensitive comment from DP

29 replies

GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy · 03/01/2010 21:30

Please be gentle, this is my first AIBU.

As you may of heard on the news there was an explosion in Shrewsbury today. I heard about it on Facebook about 15 minutes after it had happened.

I was very concerned as a few of my friends work in a hotel next to the building that exploded.

Initially some people on facebook had put that it was the hotel itself that had exploded and as the news hadn't hit the BBC news website yet I didn't know what had actually happened.

I asked DP to put BBC news 24 on telly to see if they had any information about what had happened, if there were any casualties etc.

He refused as the football was on. It was just the pre match garb at the time. I asked him again and said he could put his football match on as soon as they kicked off. Once again he refused. I then said "Can you please stop acting like an insensitive dick, I'm worried about my friends" he then said " God what are you getting so moody about I didn't fucking blow it up!"

AIBU to be hurt at his comment which he is still thinks was fine as it was "the truth"?

OP posts:
shonaspurtle · 03/01/2010 21:32

Your dp was being a twat. Hope your friends are ok, it must have been terrifying.

alicet · 03/01/2010 21:33

He is an insensitive twat. YANBU.

Unless you have history of making up excuses to get him to do what you want (don't think for a minute this is the case but if my dh was this rude and insensitive I would think that he was probably irritated about something else to account for that)

MitchyInge · 03/01/2010 21:33

yanbu

is everyone ok?

alicet · 03/01/2010 21:33

Meant to say hope your friends are OK x

thisisyesterday · 03/01/2010 21:34

no, you aren't bei9ng unreasonable. he should have just turned over
i really don't get the whole men/football thing- bloody ridiculous.

i wouldn't have been upset about the comment itself, but i would have been upset that he felt him watching football was more important than something i had asked him to do as I was worried.

he is probably now pretending it's all fine because he knows he was a dick.

(nb: if i'd been you i'd have prob just looked online instead, but that';s by the by!)

PoppyIsApain · 03/01/2010 21:37

YANBU but he is male and the football was on so not much hope really. I hope your friends are Ok.

Original poster
GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy · 03/01/2010 21:38

My friends are all ok. Thank you for your kind words.

Only one of my friends was working at the time. The hotel was evacuated and she is physically fine but very shaken.

She's recovering at home with a large G&T at the moment.

I'll send her some choccies and a good comedy DVD to cheer her up I think.

OP posts:
MistleSnail · 03/01/2010 21:40

YANBU!!

Awful isn't it? Me and Dss were due to go to the Panto at Theatre Severn this evening - it's been cancelled as all the windows have blown in . I can hardly feel aggrieved when people have been badly hurt though .

Heqet · 03/01/2010 21:40

No, you are not being unreasonable. It was perfectly reasonable of you to want to see more information under the circumstances. It must have seemed to you like he didn't care what had happened and if your friends were ok or not.

Agree with thisisyesterday that you could have gone online, but that's not really it, is it? I suppose you were wanting him to care and to want to switch over??

MistleSnail · 03/01/2010 21:41

Glad they're all ok.

scottishmummy · 03/01/2010 21:41

goodness me,heard about explosion on news,do take good care of friend she will be very shaken.

your dh is being a tit

cheesesarnie · 03/01/2010 21:42

yanbu.what an idiot.glad all ok

Original poster
GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy · 03/01/2010 22:10

Thank you all for your replies.

I did check the BBC news website but there was nothing about it at the time. I was grasping at straws hoping that the news channel might be a a little quicker to report.

I'm very upset that even though my friends are ok other people were seriously hurt and he still thinks it was fine to make such a flippant and insensitive comment.

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 04/01/2010 07:32

YANBU

Your DP was def being horrible.

However, I suspect if he is near you in age, he still has a LOT of growing up to do (takes them a lot longer to do it!).

I'm glad your friend is OK.

MamaLazarou · 04/01/2010 09:07

YANBU. He was being a complete nob.

QandA · 04/01/2010 09:13

YANBU

Agree that it wouldn't be the comment that would bother me, but the fact that he puts football above the well being of real people.

radstar · 04/01/2010 09:50

yanbu - very insensitive of him. I was in the town then just visiting and it was obvious something very serious was going on the amount of emergwency services around. If I thought it was someone I knew I would be beside myself, he needs to grow up.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 04/01/2010 09:51

His comment is ridiculous and makes no sense.

LeQueen · 04/01/2010 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Malificence · 04/01/2010 12:17

If you were on the computer, why didn't you look at reuters or any other of the many, many news channels?

Yes, he was unreasonable, but you could have got the information from the net - Radio local to Shrewsbury perhaps?

myfirstbump · 04/01/2010 12:33

DH and I felt the explosion yesterday, and didn't think anything of it (even after all the fire engines raced past our window!)

But after DH had tried to get through town and not managed, he came back and switched everything on - internet, radio Shropshire and news 24, no questions asked by him or me, we were both eager to see that nobody we might have known were nearby at the time.

Sorry your DP was so selfish. I hope he thought the football was worth it [hmmm]

myfirstbump · 04/01/2010 12:34

that smily did not work at all did it?

Try again...

pooexplosions · 04/01/2010 12:41

"Hes a man and the footy was on so thats normal"
what the fuck? Its okay to be a rude ignorant insensitive arsewit because a boy needs football? This is the kind of apologistic wankery that allows men free reign to be utter twats.
And I don't understand how the OP asked politely and then took no for an answer, in her own home presumably? In my house it would be..turn it over, quick, which he would, and if for some reason he didn't I would pick up the remote and do it myself.

Hurt by his comment? YANBU, but I'd be more bothered that your DP is a twat and you let him away with his twattishness.

Pikelit · 04/01/2010 12:45

Insensitive twat!

ImSoNotTelling · 04/01/2010 12:56

Good god.

So your friends could have been injured or worse in this disaster and he refused to switch over the TV to see if he could find anything out? Because he was watching some football pundits talk?

I just read this to DH and we are both .

I don't usually say this, and sm will jump on me, but if this was a bloke I was going out with I would simply dump him.

He's not a twat, that's not strong enough. He's a callous selfish bastard.

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