to expect my DH not to fall asleep all the bloody time....

[Undercovamutha]

If I am in the room with DH and the DCs, he always seems to fall asleep. This happens on weekend mornings when we are vegging in bed whilst the DCs squabble play. But it also happens at other times in the day, when he falls asleep on the sofa.

I'm pretty sure that he hasn't got narcolepsy!, and am also pretty sure that it is a trick he uses to get me to watch the DCs all the time.

For example, I will be reading a book and DH will be reading a magazine. DCs are playing. DH apparently drifts off to sleep on the sofa, therefore becoming completely oblivious to the DCs crying and 'arguing' (DS is only 9mo!). Therefore I am the one who always has to put down my book to change the nappy; disentangle the head lock DD has DS in; answer the many hundreds of 'why' questions DD constantly asks.

AIBU to suspect that this is a deliberate ploy?

how old is he (dh)?

Mid 30s (not late 60s as you would possibly believe from my OP!).

Nope. To discover if this is the case, quietly say things like "there's a tenner on the floor", "I feel like a takeaway" or "mmmm, a beer would be nice",

and if the kids aren't in the room

"I'm feeling really horny."

I think if you ever pick up a book when you have more than one child, and one still 9mo, then you are doing extremely well and have very good children and no real problem!!!!

Took me about 5 years to be able to read in the daytime

however and seriously, I do see what you mean. I would encourage the children to sort this one for you. "Hey you two, what are you doing arguing - Daddy's asleep, it's jumping on Daddy's inert form time!!! Yayyyy! Who can jump highest? Who can land on Daddy's tummy first?"

he should go to the doctor, if its genuine, that are lots of conditions that can cause this. My father in law has sleep aponea and he used to do this before he was diagnosed and put on treatment.

Has he always done this?

How much sleep does he get a night?

Yanbu

Just wake him up.

Cirrhosis - get your point! I did think when I read the OP back, that it did make me look as if I live a charmed life. Really I just HOPE to be able to read a book or magazine seeing as DH is also in the room. However it never turns out like that.
Earlybird - don't think there is an actual problem as he is fine at work and in the evenings. Am sure it is a ploy )he gets the same amount of sleep as me (7 hours ish?).

Perhaps call his bluff then. In a very concerned and wifely tone, say something along the lines of how all your friends DH's are out there with their children building boats/going fishing/extending the house.....you are so worried that he can't keep awake, you are so concerned it must be medical as he is SUCH a good dad that if he possibly COULD he would be PLAYING with his kids...yes, you've come to the decision to call the GP and get him an appointment...shame him into bucking up his act

Scare him! Tell him that there are all sorts of dangerous conditions that all this sleeping is a symptom of (sleep apnoea is, in fact, a serious problem) and that he needs to go to the GP - oh, and give up drinking IMMEDIATELY and go to the gym lots etc...

My DH was like this when the DCs were small. We were both exhausted but I seemed to have lost my ability to really relax and nap, whereas his was alive and well.

I used to resent that deeply, even though it wasn't his fault, and we'd get into these "I'm more tired than you" competitions.

Are you a SAHM ? I would suggest you negotiate that he regularly take the DCs out and leaves you alone in the house sometimes, if you don't already do this.

Failing that, get the DCs to jump on him, or bugger off upstairs (pretend you are off to do something, then just don't come back)

My dh is just the same - drive me bloody mad. He reckons that as soon as he goes horizontal his eyes close and he falls asleep. I tell him that he should stay vertical then but sit him on the sofa and he slips down and is snoring before you know it. No medical problems - just assumes I will stay alert for the children I think. Same in the mornings when they come into bed - I interact with them, he sleeps! I know there is not a problem with my dh so there probably isnt with yours - except they are both lazy~!

My DH does this too. I never understand how he can sleep with a very noisy 23 month old in the room. I told him to go to the docs as I'm sure there must be something wrong, but like you said, maybe it is just a ploy.

Frogetyfrog - that is exactly what happens, word for word.

Jamie - am a temporary SAHM (maternity leave). I do tend to disappear into another room to rest do important chores. But every now and again I would just like us to all be in the same room together without the assumption that I will be the one staying alert. Grr!

I disappear too but then have to come back when the screams and demands get too loud to bear. Have never been able to work out how he can ignore them/sleep through them although I know he grunts at them occassionally. If something major happens (one of them fell off the piano once) he can move like lightening so I know he is kind of alert to them if I am not there - just not obviously interacting!!!

I went to bed for a nap today (headache) and left him in charge LOL
He took her to panto rehearsals, I woke up and came down - all lights off, doors unlocked and him faaaaaaaaaast asleep
Would he have woken for rehearsal collection if I hadnt?
who bloody knows.

QOD - on the VERY RARE occasions I go and have a nap, bloody DH comes upstairs and gets into bed too, and the DCs follow!

Undercovamutha - thats exactly what my dh does. I get so annoyed as once the dc have arrive he rolls over and sleeps and I have to talk to them. (not that I dont want to talk to them but I work shifts and need the sleep sometimes).

Dh does this too. They should use him for sleep studies - his ability to fall asleep is truly inspirational.

Frogety - we appear to have the same DH! Except it can't be, cos he'd never have the energy for 2 wives!!!!

lol the CrackFox