to not want to ask the neighbours on behalf of DH

[fiveisanawfullybignumber]

if they want to sell off some of their garden?
We both have corner plots and our garden are a good size for end terraced houses, but the end in a silly pointy bit on each side.
I'm perfectly happy with our garden the way it is. Next door is quite overgrown and I get a bit miffed about the nettles growing through near the DC's play area, byt spray them and get on with it.
Some of their fence blew over in the snow the other week, and DH and FIL (long story there for another day!!!) have decided we should offer to buy the end of their scruffy garden to make ours a better shape at the end.
BUT, he won't ask them, he never bloomin well does anything like that, he wants me to do it. I feel it's a bit rude to be honest, we don't have massive gardens, what if they say yes, offer us a ridiculously high price and we turn them down. I don't want the hassle of it to be honest, we get on, say hi to each other and accept parcells for one another etc.
AIBU, or just hormonaly bad tempered for not wanting to do this for hubby?

YANBU

If he wants it so badly, let him ask. What s he, 4? Does he need his mummy helping him?

Tell him you asked them and they said no.

He'll never know, will he?

I'm not a good liar, he's just rung and asked me if i've spoken to them. Said no, I wanted to discuss it with him first. I just think it's a bit cheeky. if their garden was the size of FIL's I'd think ok, but it's not huge.
And no, his mum wouldn't do it, he expects me to do it!!!

Shrug your shoulders and leave it to him. He wants to do it badly enough, he'll speak to them. (In fact he probably won't, which suits you.)

Tell him to strap on a pair.

Yup, but he then go on and on about how I never do anything for him and make me feel awful about it. I know it'll turn into a big issue, just need to try and calmly talk about it tonight. Maybe I can blame my hormones (21 wks pG) and say I don't trust myself talking to them in case i get iffy about the nettles. Problem is he know's I wouldn't.

Ah the old "emotional blackmail" technique. He sounds terribly childish (based on the above info only am hoping he has some redeeming features ).

In this situation I'd be helpful whilst not actually doing anything embarrassing by saying "ok well I'll invite the neighbours over for a cup of tea next Sunday and you we can raise it then."

Then don't say anything when they come but be charm personified.

Or weep and blame pg hormones.

I meant he is treating YOU as his mummy!

He can hardly have a go at you when he's too scared to ask them himself! Tell him to grow a pair! If he wants the extra garden so damn badly. And if he tries the you never do anything for me shit, you could always tell him you don't appreciate him trying to manipulate you.

FAB, yes he does to an extent, probs because of the way we've always been.
He was 20 when I met him, me divorced mother of 2, so i kind of took the lead when it came to mortgages, setting up home etc, as i knew what I was doing. 12 yrs down the line he does do more of the responsible stuff, but occasionaly gets like this, usually when he's not sure of the outcome!!![wink}
can't complain though, as he is a traditionalist family man, works hard for his family, and even does more than his fair share of housework, iron etc as I'm having a rough PG.
I had a chat when he came home and for once he's not tried to change my mind. I think he knows it's a bit cheeky tbh, which is why he's not pushing it.
And I was all ready for a big blow up, but stayed nicely calm and non hysterical for tonight. Thanks ladies.

have you decided how much to offer them and found out what the legal costs will be ?

so how much have you agreed as a couple to pay for it?

I think that as its beneficial to your home theres no harm in asking them ....i wouldnt mention youve already discussed it just casually say youd like a bigger garden and if they fancied selling a bit would they please let you know - maybe they will be glad to get rid?? if theyre not keen gardeners it might be a blessing to them.

If you keep mothering him, you'll be his mother for the rest of your lives.

Stand firm on this tell him to do it himself. Let the tantrums roll. Treat them as you would any other tantrums coming out of any other child. Because that's how he's acting.

I've told him I'm not willing to ask, it makes me feel too uncomfortable. If he wants it, he'll have to ask himself. I don't think he will, so hopefully it's situation over!
I'm showing absolutely no interest in the idea, so hopefully he should drop it, at least untill FIL puts in his two penneth again!