To have not taken DS to see his 'daddy' since before his birthday?

[MsSpentChristmas]

I have been more than reasonable when it has come to XP having access to DS, I let him see DS even when SS didn't think he should, but have supervised it to make sure that DS was safe, I have just supervised it.

It was DS's birthday a few days ago and originally i was supposed to take DS over to XPs house for an hour but when i offered XP the choice to have DS over for an hour on his birthday or a few hours the following day he chose the following day instead.

It got to the morning when I was supposed to take DS to XPs and he started arguing with me and delaying me going over, I had previously told him i needed to go about 12 because of my exhisting plans, he delayed me going over and just as it got to nearly 12 he decided it was ok for me to go over, I had expected this, it's the sort of thing he will always do, just to try and be awkward and make me do what HE wants. He also told me that if I won't play ball he won't either. meaning he won't pay for DS. I told him that the money he gives me isn't enough for me to put up with what he puts us through.

It got to 12 and I emailed him to tell him that I was going to go out as I had already planned and if he emailed me about when he wanted to see DS I would email him when he got back.

It has been days now and he hasn't bothered emailing to see DS for his birthday.

AIBU to not bother contacting him? I am so fed up of chasing him. I let him have access to DS because I felt it was important my DS still sees his 'daddy' I am starting to think I might have been wrong

No, you aren't unreasonable - you can't force people to act as they should; it has to come from him

(and he isn't a proper "daddy" really - not there financially, emotionally, physically (in visit times) so don't think that no contact will be detrimental....)

LewisFan, am glad to see you are still about these parts

I don't really think he has the right to the title of 'daddy' but that's what DS calls him.

I had decided that in the new year all contact should be through a contact centre, I had finally been referred to one (16 months after the split) but now I think I am going to just sit it out and wait for him to get in contact before setting it up... I just know he is just waiting for me to crack, In the past I usually have

Still no contact from the 'paternal' family. Not even DS's 'nanny' hmm

I emailed XP to tell him I had found a couple of bits of his. And he has told me to throw them away

He would rather me throw his things away than see his own son!!!

Fuxake!!!

sulking then. Need to control you is what motivates him, not a desire to see his child. Nice chap. Good for you for going to such lengths to try to maintain contact between father and child, but I think you have to leave it up to him now. Tell him that his son will be available to meet at contact centre by arrangement. If he doesn't bother, then sad as it is, you know how he feels about his child and you can go on from there.

Thank you for replying Heqet

TBH he has been a complete arse over the last 16 months, and I have actually felt as though it was to deliberately push me to tell him to feck off and not let him see DS. So that's it's my fault rather than his for not giving a crap.

I know he will feed DS tales of how it was my fault he didn't see him. ugh.

Bloody typical he does this now, just after we finally get referred to the St. John ambulance, who are apparently the people that do supervised contact around here.