To apply for jobs

[fernie3]

As I have posted on here my husband has been off work I'll ALOT this year, mostly depression although he tries to deny he is depressed. He has a pretty good and understanding job BUT he has been off work for somewhere between 2 and 3 months this year which means that he will be on reduced pay if he has more time off in the next few months which as we are only on one income we would really struggle with to the point of not paying our rent or affording basic bills.

He has been very bad over Christmas and I just don't see how in a couple of days he is getting up and going to work. One part of me just feels like telling him to pull himself together and get the hell out of the door another part tells me that it would be unreasonable to do that when I know how much he IS trying to get well now.

I am really starting to panic now, we have never both been not working and if even if his work don't find some reason to get rid of him then asi said his pay will be reduced quite significantly.

I have been lookng around to apply for jobs myself but I have a few problems ! I wouldn't earn much as I am a sahm and have been for years jobs would be cleaning, shops minimum wage etc . I have three children who need childcare as even if my husband was at home he is not currently capable of caring for them alone for any length of time and I have no family to help and to top it all off I am 9 weeks pregnant and don't worry about giving me the bad timing talk I give it to myself on a daily basis !

I have been applying for any job I see the last week or two but my sister thinks I am being stupid and that it will make things worse. Am I being unreasonable? Can it ever work? I was hoping that even if it was only temporary for a few weeks or months ( so pregnancy would nt be a factor) it would help just a bit.

My nightmare is that my husband loses his job and we are both at home with our kids, no money, being evicted and not affording food for our exsisting children let alone another one. I would do anything to avoid that.

Have you told your DH that you're applying for jobs? Given his condition it might make him worse (feel bad, not being able to support his family, more pressure = more stress, etc)

It sounds like a reasonable idea, but if you're not going to be able to cover the childcare costs then it's a bit pointless, isn't it?

I can see why you're worried but I would have thought a better response would be to try to help him get better (it sounds difficult if he isn't admitting there is a problem, but being supportive and not naggy might help him make the first step?)

You obviously have the best intentions so weather you apply or don't yanbu.
I think if you get a temping job you'd be able to boost your C.V and feel a bit more confident about the scinareo if you have to return to work after the baby. If you temp you are able to be flexible and can put your family first without any guilt IYSWIM

You also may be entitled to free child care so I's check that out.

Oh and I think if you ASDA have a bonus for people who return to work after pregnancy. I'd look into working for companies which would help you out ie supermarket (maybe you get staff discounts)

I would absolutely be applying for any job going in your circs. Remember that if you work 16 hrs pweek or more you'll get tax credits, assumiong that your dh is on a low wage.

Is your dh getting any treatment for his depression? If not, you really need to kick his arse to the GP.

Hi my husband is not on a low income , he doesn't earn a HUGE amount but it's not classed as low at the moment we don't qualify for any help with childare cost for example. This is one of the major issues that if he us off sick on less pay would it be low enough for us to get help with childcare ? If it is that would be brilliant but I have a feeling it won't simply going on the luck I have had recently!

I have applied for tesco and a few other shops but not asda so I will try there. No luck yet but I understand that as I have a huge gap in employment and no experience of much.

I want to support him and be there for him but I don't understand how I can dothat 24 hours a day and still have money to pay for things, i know that if he lost his job totally we would get benefits etc but I don't really like the idea of that being my only plan and anyway it's unlikely he will lose his job just get reduced pay in which case no benefits as he still has a wage just lower than it was.

Thanks for not making me feel like a total failure by the way I was worried people would tell me I was an idiot for letting things get this bad!

If its something you need to do so that you don't feel powerless, then good for you and good luck

I think you qualify for tax credits if your income is £58k,

Working tax credits are weird, they do have an online calclator so you can put different circumstances in so that you can see what is the best thing to do for more money.

There is a certain time with being pregnant that you do not have to tell employers, I think you have a while yet. Even if they do not give you maternity pay as you do not have long enough service with them, then you will be entitled to statutory maternity pay.
I know it must be very hard for you and you husband if he is ill, but you can only do so much before it makes you ill, and you have 4 children to think of. You will find that you get a huge support network for friends by going out to work. Most good employers have a scheme where you get money back from what you have paid out in childcare..
Remeber unless you are well educated or have hgue experience then the well paid jobs are not there. Cleaning pays well as does working in supermarkets and you will have the chance to better your work life in that environment. We would all love to be on £20 per hour but part time flexi work tends not to be that generous!