To be OBSESSED with buying a house?

[santasmagicnappysack]

DH and I both work for the public sector, him FT and me PT. We live in a very nice area of central london - good schools, parks and museums nearby and a very low crime rate. We have virtually no commute so both spend lots of time together and with lovely DD. This is because we are lucky enough to rent a 2 bed flat from a housing association. We have a 10mo DD so money is tight but as we are we just about make ends meet each month.

However, since we had DD I am absolutely obsessed with buying a house. We could never in our wildest dreams afford to buy something near where we live at present. Every day I find myself scouring rightmove.co.uk for post codes we could maybe one day afford to live in, working out how long it would take us to get to work, searching for primary schools in the area, reading the admissions policy and ofstead reports. I constantly put our salaries into mortgage calculators and get so depressed when I realise we could barley afford a garage in the commuter belt, let alone a house. I even read the tory green paper on housing to see where we'd stand if they won the next GE.

I have found myself building up a whole fantasy life for us in a lovely 3 bed semi in the commuter belt AIBU??

We are extremely fortunate. That's my point - why isn't it enough for me? MaggieMnaSneachta - it is just like being broody, you're right.

Yes with HA secured tenancey I do treat it as my own. We have tiled the bathroom and toilet, put wood flooring down and even put a new kitchen in. However there is always this nagging feeling that it is not really ours.

MaggieMnaSneachta - it is a wonderful location, it is only because it is HA that we can afford it.

My family don't help - they mostly have lived in council properties also in central london their whole lives. Whenever I do any DIY my nan says "what's the point? It's not yours." If I mention the places I've seen on the market that we could aspire to own my mum says things like "oh but the houses are TINY round there" or "but it's a terrible area, all council estates" - of course they're tiny and in mixed areas, otherwise we coudldn't afford them!

I'd suggest actually seeing a mortgage advisor rather than using on line mortgage calculators. Things have changed I know because of the recession but our mortgage advisor got us 4.6 x joint income when we moved here when the calculators all were going by a basic 3 x joint.

I am sure if you are prepared to re-locate you could get what you want....being in the public sector can make it easier to relocate, sometimes there is even financial help to do so.

If you were to get 4.6 x joint, how much would that give you?

4.6 is a risk and a huge financial commitment.

On 4.6 if dp kept working part time we could have a mortgage of over £320K. We could not afford the mortgage payments though.

I would be terrified to take out a x4.6 mortgage - but you're right, it could get us our dream house tomorrow (I have very modest dreams!).

My sums are worked out on being able to borrow x3 our joint income and needing a 20% deposit.

I hear you , but try and appreciate what you have got!!!! I would love to libe back in central London again! HA are generally quite low rents so my advice would be to stay put, then as time goes on try to increase the money coming in, then you can have a long term plan to save and one day move.

I moved from central (ish) to suburbia and whilst we are happy here I do miss the buzz
One day I am sure you will have the house and garden, but in the meantime, things could be worse!

I live in a small HA flat, we have only got one double bedroom, the other is a single, and 2 DS's. They are 3.5 and 10 weeks, so not a huge problem at the moment, but it will be a nightmare when they are older! However, I think I would be very anxious about taking out a mortgage at the moment, not that we could afford it either. I know how you feel though, and YANBU. I just think of the security that we have, and the fact we don't have constant fears of stuff breaking down - ie boiler in midwinter! - as HA will fix it. It helps to think long term, rather than stressing about not being able to buy right now.

i totally understand, i think it is a strong urge to feel settled in a home. DH and i have been renting for nearly 10 years, not even because we can't afford something but because prices have just been such poor value for most of that time (by the time we started to think of buying).

We are now renting a beautiful 3-bed house, still in zone 2, mainline rail, but we have slowly been progressing out from the center of London. I love the neighbourhood and would like to buy but it is still so expensive for what you get - more than renting.

I am also scared of the commitment of buying, if anything happened with our work, etc. Also I know it would come with its own issues because I would want everything fixed up while DH isn't bothered about poor finishes and that.

So, i don't think YABU but don't fall into the trap either of thinking everything will be perfect if you own your home. Also, the bank really owns it, not you, for quite a long time!

Frankly I'm jealous you can fix up your place as you please, as we are stuck with our home owner's suspect DIY!

matchingcardigan it's only a 'huge' financial committment if the amount of money it gives you is huge! At the time, I was working 18 hrs a week. It got us a house for £160,000. I'm now working full time and my salary is well over doubled. I think it depends on the situation whether this is 'huge' stuff tbh and your tone is rather doom-bringing - it can work and be very suitable.

I don't meant to be a doom merchant I am just cautious which I think is quite sensible.

Of course it depends on the situation, when dp and I first got a mortgage it was 4 times his salary as I was not working and that felt scary. The repayments were just under half his salary but we knew that within a year or two I would be working and we would be at least doubling the household income so it would not matter.

But if your finances don't have scope for positive change in the near future I do think it is a huge change.

I would say that proportionally the commitment of a 4.6 mortgage will be huge though won't it? On our salary a morgtage of 320K seems to large a commitment, although having moved down south maybe we have to accept that. We have the advantage that if we needed to dp could just work full time but I don't think we would want to sacrifice our quality of life for bricks and mortar tbh.

If we earnt half as much and so could access £160K I am sure it would feel as huge.

I used to have a TINY one-bed HA property in a part of London I loved, friends nearby, good schools and facilities etc. We bought a two-bedroomed place a bit further out in an okay area when I was pg and we now have 2 kids. I still miss my HA flat and would have stayed if it was bigger. Owning has its positives, but affordable, secure renting gives you many more life style choices and flexibility. A wondeful location sounds like a lot to give up in favour of higher monthly outgoings tbh!

YANBU but try and count your blessings!! In many ways, renting (esp council/HA) is better than buying. There's good and bad to both.

well, no it doesn't feel huge because as I've explained my salary has more than doubled since we took it out.

Faint heart never won anything and bugger me if I'm going to sit there quaking in my boots and thinking "oh, I won't get that two bed terrace house because it's a huge committment".

I am sorry if I sound picky with you - it's just that for us, if we weren't going to accept 4.6 we would not be on the ladder and would not even have a house. I think what's getting my gander is the implication that we could have said "ooooh 4.6 that's too much of a committment". We could not do that and buy a house!

oh and also the implication that we haven't been 'cautious and sensible'! You are lucky if you are in a position where you can be cautious and still own a house.

Thank you all v much for replying - you have all given DH and I food for thought. Cirrhosis - you are right, x4.6 doesn't sound so frightening when you are confident your income is going to increase. Perhaps when DD (and longed for DC2) start school, I could increase my hours and pull more money in. I will admit the thought of owing that much money does terrify me. However, like you say, without borrowing more than x3 our salary DH and I wouldn't be able to borrow enough to buy a house close enough to both our jobs to get to work.

It it also good to be given a 'reality slap' and told to appreciate the very lovely life I have here. I have spent Christmas visitng friends in their very lovley big houses and fear I may be guilty of coveting not my neighbours ass's

How about Hampshire, santas? Lots of lovely houses by the sea and some nice commuter-ish towns if you don't mind an hour or so on the train!!!!

totally understand re; the coveting ass's - we all do it

Its not unreasonable to want to buy a place of your own. We generally always want what we dont have! I bought a house with then husband when I was 23, we had just got married, I was expecting our baby and all that. 18 months in that place and I was desperate for a rented house instead! Our marriage was going down the pan, I was made redundant, we had had two babies not just the one, the boiler stopped working and we couldnt afford to get it fixed, and the mortgage payments were going up by the day! My biggest dream in life was to live in a housing association house and not have to worry about the maintenance of the damned house we bought!

I live in a housing association house now and I couldnt be happier, though I am sure had I always lived in one I would be desperately wanting to buy somewhere!

You are not being unreasonable!

YANBU. Nothing would persuade me to rent a house from anyone else (though as I let them out to other people, that's a bit rich). Stick to your dreams, nappysack.

(PS You'd always covet your neighbour's ass, even if you lived in a 20-bedroom house with gravelled in-and-out driveway. It's human nature).

You are nesting!

You're probably like us and are only going to get their dream home if they relocate out of London and the home counties. But whilst you are in London you sound as if you have landed on your feet with your home, location and schools which is so important to your own happiness and with a wee one. Wouldn't swap all for a hefty mortgage and/or live in a space the size of a shed with grills on the windows and doors.

I would eat egg & chips every night for the foreseeable if it meant I could afford a place in Hampshire. Actually, I did live there for a few months while on a work placement in my teens, tiny village nr Alton. Now my fingers are twitching to go over to rightmove and check property prices in Hamps.

I have been on and off the property ladder twice and am now off it due to divorce and am privately renting at a horrendous cost.

I long for peace of mind with my housing situation and from where I am sitting a ha house or social tenancy would give me that.

Mortgages are fine if you are lucky and you don't lose your job etc but if that happens then things can get difficult.

However I do understand the need to have your own place.

If you have lived in London all your life then a move to suburbs/provinces could be a major shock. I moved the other way by the way.

oooh, have a look

Thing is, there are usually affordable places - it's just finding your area isn't it, finding the best you can with prices still reasonable....depends on your budget of course.

Cirrhosis I think we are actually in agreement , your mortgage does not feel like a huge commitment because it is not actually 4.6x your salary any more. As I said above we did take out a mortgage years ago at 4X our salary, so I am not averse to financial commitment but we knew we would easily be able to increase our income in the future and find the payments very comfortable.

I didn't mean to imply that you were reckless, I just have witnessed a few of my friends who mortgaged to the hilt and have now lost or are very close to losing their home.

I do think home owning is overrated tbh, for me the only reason to buy again is so I do not have housing costs when I am old. When we first sold our home and realised we would need to rent for a while I felt like a huge failure.

ut we now rent a house that firstly would never be for sale and secondly I doubt we could afford. If we did buy it the mortgage payments would be much higher than our rent. We also have no repair bills and can chuck a sizeable sum in our savings account.

We are considering buying a property to let out which we can sell when we retire in order to buy somewhere else and be mortgage or rent free.

Down here in Dorset is very affordable and you can be in London in two hours. We stay in London most months.