to think my BIL is lazy and rude??

[macdoodle]

My sister and her DH are visiting, they went to his family for xmas and came here yesterday for DD2 birthday today!
Lovely and nice, my dsis and I are close, she adores my DD's, and she is 32 weeks pregnant with their first DC

My DD's are 8 and 2 They are lovely boisterou girls, and all the excitement of xmas has made them a bit hyper, and it is DD2 birthday today so more pressies

My XH was an arse, we were always tip toeing around, shushing the girls, letting him lie in bed Now we enjoy our house, do what we want, and I am probably a bit over sensitive!

I have a 3 story town house with 3 beds, mine and DD's on top floor, my mum is also here sharing with DD1.
Middle floor is lounge, and playroom, with a door seperating the 2, sofa bed in playroom is where dsis and BIL are sleeping!

So this morning DD2 wakes up early, I keep her in bed with me until DD1 wakes up and we come down to do her birthday presents. DD1 excitedly goes to get her aunt and uncle, and gets shushed out of the room
Ok its early 7ish, but they have come to visit a house with 2 small children over xmas and celebrate the youngest's birthday, what time did they think we would get up??

My dsis slunk out of the room, and spent the next hour shushing my DD's, till I crossly told her its their house, their xmas, DD2 birthday and they can make noise if they want!!

He is still in BED!!! And dsis has informed me they are off to test drive a car when he does wake up so much for spending time with me and DC and helping me with party preparations AIBU????

They are naïve young and don't know what it's like to have children. They'll find out soon enough and you can have the last laugh!

YANBU to tell your sister to not to shush your children in their own home.
YABU about allowing your DD to wake them up, bit rude IMO especially as your DSis is heavily pregnant.

Sounds like they have used you as a cheap hotel for the night rather than come to visit your DDs.

I am sure they have come to visit me and DD's - my sis and I are very close and get on very well!
But I find my BIL very immature and self absorbed, and I do worry what he will be like when the baby is born, which dose tend to colour how I react to him (after my XH my tolerance for lazy selfish behaviour is zero!!)

Its just he IS lazy and self absorbed, he apprantly gets bored just sitting around, hence why they "need" to go test drive cars - why they cant test drive cars in their own town I am not sure??

Oh well, will just try and enjoy dsis I did say to her he would have to get used to it when their DC is born, she said "oh well he works so I'll let him have the lie ins" been there done that, IMO that way lies bitterness and resentment!!

TBH, your BIL doesn´t sound any worse than your sister!

I think it's rude waking guests up at 7am
sorry

How has your BIL offended you, he's in bed! It's your sister who's been shushing them, etc.....

I understand he shooed them out as well, and obviously there's more to this and he's generally annoying but your sis sounds as much a prob to be honest!

Agree that they just don't know how it is with kids yet....I wouldn't have let my DS wake up a guest at 7, either....I would always allow a guest to wake up when they chose tbh.

btw I totally agree with you that your sister is falling into the 'he works so I'll do it all mentality' - I hope you can have some BIG chats with her about that, sounds like if anyone can be the voice of experience for her, you can! Agree with you that having that attitude is not a recipe for success with babies in the house

YABabitU - you could have asked you sis and BIL if they wanted to get up early to open presents.

However, YANBU - sis has got no right to shush your kids in their own house. If BIL is that bothered about lying in he should have stayed in a hotel.

Normally I wouldnt have let the DD's wake them up, and tiptoed round the house, watched TV, made Tv etc!
BUT FGS its XMAS, and its DD2's BIRTHDAY today, she wanted to open her presents, Dsis wanted to watch, and how on earth does a 2yr old (with help from a 8yr old) open presents quietly!!

"he apprantly gets bored just sitting around"

Well that sounds pretty normal to me.

Also the time on your first post was just after 9am and you seemed astonished that he was still in bed. It's a Bank Holiday FGS what is wrong with wanting a lie in. If your sister wanted to get up to watch the presents being opened then surely there was nothing to stop her, he didn't need to be there too did he?

And I think you might be harsh at jumping to conclusions that he will be just like your ex when their baby comes along, just because he is not bursting with enthusiasm to spend time with yours. Many people are not that interested in other people's kids but change when they have some of their own.

It is very peculiar that they are going out later to test drive cars, I will definitely give you that.

So you've pissed off your BIL and rowed with your sister? Do you still think they're going to stick around for the party or if they do, there won't be a bit of an atmosphere?

I don't blame the children for making a noise at all.

I do think all the adults concerned are being selfish and unrealistic - your BIL for not pasting on a smile, and you and your sister for wanting a 'lovely and nice' family experience for the both of you without thinking about the consequences of forcing your BIL into it.

I predict a really big row between your sister and BIL and all the way home and a prickly new year for everybody.

What was your mum think of all this, by the way?

I meant to type: 'what does your mum think?'