To be pissed off with my friend?

[MissMoopy]

My friend of many years has always been quite lazy and whenever i visit - she lives some way from us - I end up cleaning, cooking, looking after her child etc etc and, indeed last time, I cooked all the food for her dd birthday party AND had to sort out my bedroom so it was only just habitable - they live in a pig sty. This has become increasingly irritating over the years and I have decied not to visit her again as I did not feel able to keep doing so much without making an issue out of it. Yesterday on facebook her sister made a joke about going to her house for Xmas dinner and ending up cooking it herself, so i made a flippant comment along lines of not being surprised. She has now taken huge offence at this and posted on her facebook page that when my family visit she runs after us and waits on us hand and foot! This is really not true.
I sent her a private message apologising for any offence but challenging her statement and, politely reminded her of what i had done around her house etc during my last visit. She is now ignoring me it seems and is posting messages to other people saying her sister and i have ruined her christmas!
AIBU? I probably shouldn't have made flippant remark on facebook but does it warrant this reaction?

yanbu, she sounds a little bit OTT tbh.
I think she knows your comment is true and is ashamed about her behaviour as otherwise she would have taken the joke or joke back.

You can delete your comment from her wall, can't you.
I think though that making that type of comment on facebook can easily be misinterpreted.

I think I would have felt hurt if a friend of mine posted something like that on facebook, even if it were true.

rule of thumb - if you cant say it to their face then ffs dont post it on facebook.

you shouldn't have been mean about her then.you were bitchy for all to see it.she understandably has the hump

agree with Vicar.

I think if you had already decided not to visit her any more, you might have been better to let things lie and not to have commented on her on facebook.

You find her irritating, and had already decided not to visit her again.

You then post a snippy comment about her on FB.

Did you expect her to react to that with joy and mirth?

It's OK to consider housework a total waste of time, actually. Maybe she's as fed up with you for your rubber-glove-weilding smugness as you are fed up with her.

Ignore it - you've already decided that the relationship is pretty one-sided, so don't waste any more energy on it. FWIW, I don't think you're smug, you (and her sister, it would appear) just have different standards from your friend. But I would learn the lesson from making a potentially-hurtful (albeit true) crack on FB.

She has just sent me a very long email apologising for her reaction, her nehaviour when we visit etc etc. SO whilst I admit my comment was not best made public, it has allowed us to clear the air. As for being smug or bitchy, I am neither. I am no polly-homemaker - but their house is a health hazard.
i don't think i will be visiting again in a hurry but things are now more resolved.
and Vicar, i have said much the same to her face in the past, we are very honest with each other, so i did not expect her initail reaction.

behaviour, not nebaviour!! when will I learn to spell?

She is most likely ashamed of living like a pig, still may be the kick up the backside she needs to get off her butt and clean up

Glad you're back in communication with your friend - hope you get the relationship completely back on track.