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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another wedding issue (sorry!)

4 replies

Mishy1234 · 27/12/2009 15:10

We're going to a family wedding on 2nd Jan. Our DS (22 months) and his cousin (16 months) will both be attending.

The original plan was that the bride's parent's housekeeper/nanny would look after both boys from 6pm onwards. She has been with the family for about 30 years and still helps with housework etc, now that all the children are grown up. This was the understanding until today.

Today my MIL informed me that a cleaner and her daughter (who works for another family member) will be looking after the boys. I don't know if this is a recent change of plans, or if this has always been the case and wire have somehow been crossed.

AIBU to not feel totally happy with this? I don't know or have ever met either of these women. They have no childcare experience (apart from having had their own children) and I just don't feel comfortable with this arrangement. If I had been given notice, I could have asked someone I know to help out, but now I feel rail roaded into this situation.

Yes, I should have checked the arrangements, but I really thought we had things sorted.

I an inclined just to say that I'll look after DS and maybe ask them to watch him while he has his meal if he's within eyesight. Then I can settle him in his pram and stay with him in a quieter area of the reception. I'll be retiring early as I'm pregnant and pretty knackered, so it's not as if I'll be dancing/drinking into the wee hours anyway.

I just don't feel I can leave him in the care of these women, in our hotel room out of my sight and won't contemplate using a baby monitor either.

OP posts:
bibbitybobbitysantahat · 27/12/2009 15:12

Yes, I think you should do what you suggest in your last two paragraphs.

Ivykaty44 · 27/12/2009 15:15

It is your call, but why not ask if you can meet up before the event?

if you live close enough to do so, then you would have meet these two ladies and perhpas feel more comfortable about the situation.

merrycompo · 27/12/2009 15:17

Yanbu

your child you decide what to do, no one else IMO

Mishy1234 · 27/12/2009 15:46

Thanks for the replies ladies!

It's going to be difficult not to offend them at this late stage. I think I'll have to try and involve them to a certain extent by asking them to help with mealtime etc and maybe make an excuse that DS isn't quite himself and that I'd rather be with him when he's sleeping in case he wakes and becomes upset.

Ivykaty- unfortunately, I won't be able to meet up with them before the actual day. I'm not sure if that would make me feel any more comfortable about it tbh, but understand your point.

OP posts:
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