to tell my brother no he can't have his food back!

[fruitsticksinyourstocking]

We cooked Christmas dinner this year for 14 people in total. My parents have both died as has DH's mum so we had my brother, my sister and BIL, 5 teenage childre, FIL, BIL and BIL's girlfriend.

Also, DH was made redundant last month so we are a bit skint.

My sister said that she would buy and cook the turkey, she also made a trifle and helped with the table decorations. FIL bought the wine, BIL, crackers and sausage rolls.

DH and I cooked all the veg and accompiaments and cooked a ham.

I told my brother to bring a bottle of champagne and some things to heat up for tea (canapes, pork pie etc).

After lunch I put DS2 (10 months) to sleep while my sister, neice, DH and FIL, BIL did the washing up. My brother and his 2 children watched tv.

Whilst I was putting DSs to bed I told my brother that he wsa in charge of tea. He offered everyone a turkey sandwich but didn't do anything about heating up the stuff he'd bought (despite having to get passed it in the fridge to help himself to trifle). Never mind, noone went hungry.

THEN, yesterday, he pops in at lunch time to ask if he could have his stuff back as noone had easten it . My nephew had some mates round and they had no food in the house.

Was IBU unreasonable to tell him that he couldn't , and that it was still his contribition to Christmas Day even if I didn't ask if anyone wanted it

Actually I have used it. We had friends dropping in en route North so we gave them something to eat to steal them for the journey.

YANBU

You are definately not being unreasonable.

For God's sake - I think that was really odd thing to do actually - agree, if you brought wine to someones house you wouldnt ask for it back if no one drank it. Odd.

Am suprised at how many think you are bu.

YANBU

YA def. NBU. I have just spent four lovely days at my sister's where we provided lots of wine and the cheeses. No way would I ask for them back. My sister has gone to huge effort and what we provided is only a fraction of the cost/ effort of providing Christmas.

This reminds me of my dad's funeral when my uncle brought some cake over and as it wasn't all eaten he and his wife packed it up and took it with them. At least we caught them doing it in secret rather than them having the cheek to ask.

YANBU at all, he's being mean and cheeky.

So he got his entire Christmas dinner including booze made for him then brought some food round and used leftovers so he could take his back home?

I think if it had still been in the fridge and he wanted it then I'd have given him it.

However, I don't think you were wrong to use it either.

YANBU

If he had used his food for the evening meal, then you would have had more turkey and bread leftover.

No one wanted to eat it and unless you'd got something particular planned for it then I'd have given it to him. Seems a bit mean not to

YANBU

Presumably the turkey/bread leftovers would have done you and your immediate family an extra meal or two.

Your brother sounds very cheeky tbh. In your position when he rang/called round I would have said something like "oh, we ate that already, or oh we are about to have it for tea, sorry. We had intended to have a turkey sandwich but you used all that up yesterday"

Disclaimer: my own brother is quite thoughtless but would not take offence at my straight talking.