To think that dh's brother and sister should have given my dcs their Christmas presents by now.

[muminthemiddle]

I know I probably am being over sensitive but neither my bil or sil have given my dcs their Christmas presents yet.

Sil and her dh were invited to our house Chrismas eve. We also invited other close friends. Anyway up until Chrismas Eve morning sil and family were coming then she rang to say that due to her ds having a cold they wouldn't be coming. Fair enough even though I had bought food and drink for them and was preparing the catering at the time.

Mil,Fil and Bil came Christmas day. Bil was pissed and could hardly stand even my dd asked me why he was swaying around!!!!!
Bil said he had forgotten my dcs presents again fair enough.

As Mil was leaving I gave her the presents for sil kids (she was seeing them today)she was a bit off with me and said that sil had told her they would be visiting us very soon(unknown to me). I replied that as nephew had a cold they wouldn't be coming, mil said oh no he was perfectly fine when we went on Christmas Day and Fil agreed.

Now 2 things:

1. If nephew is well Christmas day then was he really so ill as to not to be able to come as planned on Christmas Eve. 2)Why didn't sil give mil presents so that my dcs would have got them for Christmas.

We are working tomorrow so won't be seeing sil or bil then and for me Christmas is the 25th of December and inlaws know how I feel about this.

My dh seems to think that it has more to do with sil and bil not being arsed to come as they would have to drive but I would have preferred to know before I prepared the food for them tbh.
Also bil (the pissed up one) has driven to meet my dh today for a drink-no mention of the "forgotten" presents.

I don't want to sound like I am obsessed by presents but am annoyed as mil texted dh and myself reminding us to make sure we had presents for bil dcs ready for when they came Christmas Day, and had we bought bil something too!!!!

Anyway off to drink the extra bottles of wine stacked in the garage!

Kitkat if my dd commented that someone had not sent her a present there would be serious trouble, for her.

Being pissed and not turning up for dinner are rude, I grant you that but to care about a present for a child who has probably opened a lot of presents already is very odd.

muminthemiddle I hope the flu clears up, it is crap being ill at this time of year

I hate the assumption that people will get presents anyway. I am very grateful for any presents we get given but I don't give presents so that we will get them back.
I'm with starexpat

and now I understand that other thread.
Its all so bloody grasping

Christ do we really care about this sort of crap? I know I don't have a diary of who did what to who and when and I can't remember who bought what for my daughter last year and what I bought for them, other than standing by my own personal values of politeness I couldn't care less what others do usualy there is thought and care somewhere along the line in this crazy life that we all lead - chill out its only the 27th for fucks sake your children are not going to be damaged forever.....

So Loubilou are you seriously saying that you would not remember if you bil (and your dcs only blood uncle)had never once in your dds 12 years hand delivered a card or gift ever for their birthday or Christmas???
No it won't damage my children or me for that matter.
Just having a whinge whereas in RL I will just let it go.

we didn't get anything for the kids from dh's brother this year. he told us in advance cos he can't afford it. imo he doesn't give that much of a toss about us/our kids as demonstrated by behaviour throughout rest of the year - which is why I was upset about it. sounds like you suspect your family of being similarly unconcerned about you and yours. my advice is to let it go - accept that you can't make family care for you like you think family should and look to those who do show love for your kids (which is not just about presents but lets face it, anyone could offer up 50p worth of present if push came to shove and it really is the thought that counts sometimes)

YABU. My children have never had Christmas presents from ny sisters and brothers on Christmas day. We all get together for a big family party a couple of days afeter Christmas and that's when we the relations presents are given out.

I really don't get why you are obssessing over presents (which do get delivered), not being hand delivered by the giver on Christmas Day (no other day being acceptable).

We did presents yesterday with my dad, step-mum, sister and her BF because we all had different arrangements on the 25th and DP and I wanted a quiet boxing day.

I think it's nice because it spreads it out and it means that we get to open presents in front of the people who gave you them. I don't see why Christmas should just be the 25th. I think you need to just relax a little bit - although I know it's frustrating when people don't stick to plans. As far as your nephew being too ill on xmas eve and ok on xmas day, it sounds pretty plausible to me. If you he was sniffly and hot then I can understand them not wanting to take him out of the house, then after a good night's sleep and with the excitment of presents it's a good bet he'd feel fine on xmas day itself.

twinkleandpearls

If my dd had randomly informed me that great auntie nelly hadn't sent her a present then I agree and dd would be in trouble however that wasn't quite the situation....

"but if you tell a 4 year old that you are going to buy them a particular gift for their birthday which is in 2 weeks then you shouldn't send them something else several months later....."

By doing the above imo they were setting her up for a fall. If you say you are going to buy a 4 yr old something special then they will have all of the excitement and anticipation only to get nothing at all... thats a bit sad really, my dc's don't get masses of gifts and if someone says they will get them something specific then we make sure we haven't duplicated - the upshot being that if its from that relative then theres every chance they won't get it at all....

I do my very best not to break promises to my dc, sometimes the world doesn't work with me iykwim and that is life, but I would never tell someones child that I was buying them somthing if i had no intention of doing it...

I like others prefer spreading presents over the christmas present it makes christmas more spread out and enjoyable as they get to play with things unlike when on christmas morning my dd 2.5yrs said next present we kept some for after dinner, then she had some on boxing day with my family and has others for after new year when we meet up with some friends!

I can understand the pissed of with family about birthdays etc.. a card would be nice ...my brother and SIL forgot my DD's 2nd birthday and it makes it really difficult as I have difficult IL's or Outlaws as I prefer to call them who like to know exactly what everyone has got everyone so it gets embaraassing.....part of me wants to forget my DN's 2nd birthday so he knows how it feels (I wouldn't and couldn't cos its on my wedding anniversary).

The reason I find it so frustrating with my brother is he has been so unrealiable for years and started to turn things around although he has not given me a birthday card since he lived at home! But with his only Niece who is was "very excited" about being born I would expect a card! or a text would have been nice!

Personally I don't get the thing with Santa delivering all the presents thing my MIL is like that! Seems madness to me we always had to wait till boxing day as kids to get pressies from aunts and uncle which made it more exciting knowning you were getting more presents!!!!

Once again I agree with KITKAT!!

I don't know if I mentioned in my first post but this has all been exasperated by mil who when she texted asked if we had bought bil kids a present and as bil is now divorced had we bought him something.
We do not buy for bil/sil at my request so all of those who thing that I am materialistic have completly missed the mark as it was I who suggested that it was a waste of money and unnecessary tbh. Likewise read my post on my dh views HE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN BUYING PRESENTS FOR PEOPLE WHO WE ARE NOT CLOSE TO. He thinks Christmas is too commercialised so was not happy with his own mother's remarks.
So after mil asking us to buy an unnecessary (can't think of another word) gift for bil (who I might addd regularly boasts to dh how much he earns-more in some days than myself or dh do in a month). Yes I am miffed.
Bil has been and had his Christmas meal we have had our "get to gether" and no we probably won't be seeing him agian for many months. I don't rely on him to buy my children anything, even though he is their only blood uncle as we have a very small family. Even though when his (was it his second wife-there have been so many) kicked him out and my fil refused to house him myself and dh gave hime a room in our house until he got with another girlfriend and then we didn't see him for years.
Yes I do think under the circumstances the least he could do is send my dcs a card or phone them to acknowledge their existence now and again.
as Kitkat says it is about being considerate and thoughtful of others and their feelings and someone who earns more in one day than I do in one month then a£5 in a card is like a penny to you or I. But not everyone is mindful of others and I know that this is fact and that once he meets wifey number 4 then we won't see him for the duration of that marriage either.