to be fed up of this friend

[MilkNoBrandyForSanta]

Have known this friend (lets call her Sarah) for 10 years now she's 20 i'm 21...She doesn't have the easiest life by any means (Mums ill, Bro severe learning difficulties, dad cancer) but I just feel completly and utterly fed up

Life is only ever about her her problems, her feelings, her life etc...Sometimes (probably selfishly i know) I want or need to talk about me for a minute...But even if i try, it always becomes about her

Over the last 2 years she's had a boyfriend who is an idiot (well they went out for 14m till march...now fuck buddies...a whoole other thread!) I don't like him...he doesn't like me. But no matter what he will ALWAYS come first...I was on the phone to her a min ago and after 3 mins she went "oh got to go is here" yet i cannot even think about the number of times I've been there and shes buggered off in the other room on the phone for an hour or 2...

I've tried to be there for her...I've listened when she's cried, I've gone round to hers at 1/2/3am for whatever reason-even if i was working in the morning, I';ve spent hours and hours listening to her moan and bitch, I've been screamed at for no reason.

When my nan died last year it destroyed me completly, yet even the day she dies, Sarah made it about her-her arguements with OH, I find it so hard to open up and yet the one time i did open up on the phone about my nans death, she just laughed at something on the telly instead...that really really hurt as it was so hard for me
This xmas was the 2nd without nan...something i was dreading...did she ask how i was? nope.

I was ill the other week...saw her and she could see how unwell i was etc...when she was ill week before last i went round to see her-brought food etc. she said "oh i forgot you were ill...oh well" when i "joked" about it.

She never callls me back, never calls me just to say "hi"

Everything is about money...if we're out shopping and she's dragged me round the shops she'll buy me something...i don't WANT her to buy me something...i want her to realise that I'm there and maybe i would like to go to a particular shop before closing time
She gives big grand xmas/bdat gifts (nothing this year htough)which, please dont get me wrong i am grateful for but just once i would like her to notcie or remember the gloves ive pointed out 800 times that i love, rather then a big present because she doent know what to buy me

I feel so bad moaning about her because she does have alot of shit going on at home, im just fed up of trying to be there for her and getting nothing back

She sees you as a friend, one she can tell about her problems, one she even offers to buy presents for, so in some ways she's grateful.

She doesn't sound like a sympathetic person, either that or she is so overwhelmed by her own problems she doesn't have any space left for yours.

Do I detect a tiny bit of jealousy about her on/off? I expect you care for her & feel protective.

The way things are I just wouldn't expect too much from her. Give her support where you feel able, but I don't think anything will ever develop.

Care for her as a friend.

I hate to say this. But maybe you do need to cut her out. She sounds like one of my (now ex) friends. It's tough on you and you need a break

tinalane by on/off do you mean (who im reffering him as) fuck buddy? If so then in a way...I'm not jealous of him and her together but im jealous of the way she tyreats him and the way he can do no wrong...if their together thats their dealio but i know that i'll be left out in the cold and i wont be "needed" until she wants something. just for once i want it to be "Oh I'll see Milk this evening so i won't see XXXX" rather then "i'm not seeing XXXX so ill see Milk" (iygwim) Just once i want to come first before him....not all the time...just once.

I've tried to be there for her throught everything...I've tried so hard to be the friend to help her when it all gets tough...i've been there at the drop of a hat...ive done things shes asked...ive held her whilst she cries.

I hat her throwing money at the problem...thats a huge part of it for me...i paid for dinner last night as she was skint and instead of thank you i got "ooh its strange you paying for dinner i always pay" no love i always always try to go halves and when you wont take the money u pay but dont ever say ive never offered

She said to me a few weeks ago, when i said something about the date of my nan dying "oh yeah i thought it was in like september or sumin" so why not say something...why not ask how im doing?

I know it seems like im investing alot of emotion in this friendship but weve been good close friends for years now and been through alot together...