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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want my SIL to stop being so material?

8 replies

dontcallmepeanut · 24/12/2009 21:36

Earlier, my SIL came round to deliver my Christmas presents, and collect hers.

First off, she casts eyes over my 3ft tree. "Not very big, is it?" she said. I gave some half-hearted "It's the perfecdt size for my son" response. Who am I kidding? I would have loved a 6 ft tree, full decorations, yada, yada.

Anyway, we got talking. And as she was sat there, she started flicking through my photos. Yes, make yourself at home, dear. (You usually do)Anyway, she cames across a photo from last years christmas, where I'd taken a picture of the Christmas tree, with all the presents around it. It had been my son's first Christmas, and I wanted as many photos as possible. At the time, we were with my ex, so had presents from his family too. And she said "How come he doesn't have as many presents this year?" She knows the answer. She knows those family members aren't bothering keeping in touch

But in the entire run up to Christmas, she's been the same. The other day she was on about how her mother had spent £100 on her daughters christmas present, how she'd spent x amount on her mother, her brother, nan, daughter, my brother etc.

And I'd love to be able to say the same, I would. Just to shut her up. I'd love to be able to splash out on my son, but at the moment, I'm in no position to do so. And if the tables were turned, I wouldn't be rubbing it in her face. Is it too much to for her to learn when to shut up for a bit?

OP posts:
AmericanHag · 24/12/2009 21:43

YANBU. She is truly rude and inconsiderate, to put it mildly.

I probably would have said, "Oh, we've decided to make Christmas about more than just gifts and showy things. In fact, next year we're not doing gifts AT ALL!"

sherby · 24/12/2009 21:43

god she sounds awful

say, yeah but you are shit mother so it all evens out in the end doesn't it

that should shut her up

BarbieLovesKen · 24/12/2009 21:47

Definately nbu - she sounds like a raging bitch. Doesnt sound like shes really happy in her own life to be honest, people only carry on like that - trying to make others feel shit if they have something making themselves miserable - misery loves company hey?

I think your son sounds so much luckier than her daughter to have a lovely mummy like you if Im honest and come on at his age do you think he knows/ cares how many presents he has under the tree?

WingedVictory · 24/12/2009 22:21

Hahaha, AmericanHag, good putdown!

Hasn;t she read that passage in one of the Harry Potter books which satirises Dudley's getting one more toy than last year, up to some unbelievable total of thirty-something gifts? Which he then breaks?

Who couldn't see the satire in this? Your SIL is not just a bitch; she is not very bright. Smirk and ignore, dear dontcallmepeanut.

lovechoc · 24/12/2009 22:28

there's obviously something amiss in her own life if she feels the need to say these things to you to try and make you feel bad. Best to ignore. It smacks of jealousy tbh, so just take her comments with a pinch of salt.

WingedVictory · 24/12/2009 22:41

No doubt people have done many of these things, but this article from the Guardian might have a tip or so that someone has missed:
www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/dec/21/central-heating-system

Wishing you all a happy and warm Christmas.

WingedVictory · 24/12/2009 22:44

scrap that, I just posted on the wrong open page! I meant to post on the thread about cold houses! Please forgive me (unless you are cold and this helps!)

dontcallmepeanut · 24/12/2009 23:18

Thanks everyone. I've drunk Santa's sherry, and eaten his sausage roll, so feel a bit happier now.

There is a lot missing in her life, but I can't work out what. She has a husband that worships the ground she walks on, a beautiful daughter, a lovely, spacious house, a good job, all her family about... but I'm the one that's generally happy.

Thanks again, everyone. Just finished wrapping the last toy, and I know someone small and toddler sized (my son) will love it... And I'll hate the mess... but still.

Hope you all have a good Christmas.

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