to epect BIL and SIL to stop constantly touching each other during dinner!

[canella]

he's 41 and she's 31 - they've been together for over 3 years and married since the summer! they're at our house for xmas but the constant touching and my SIL needing to sit on my BIL's lap is driving me mad! We were having dinner and she was stroking his arm constantly and then was getting him to stroke her neck! I'm very happily married and love my dh very much but just dont have that desire to touch him all the time!

Its not sexual so its not that that is making me uncomfortable - i just find her neediness a bit strange!

Am i being a grumpy old cow?

well, I don't have issues

I just find it very bad manners, and rather juvenile

the people around you don't need to see you touching each other up, stroking and kissing each other

rude, and un-necessary

also attention-seeking...."look at us, we have sex and ^everyfink...."

Canella,be happy for them or admit you ishoos.

God they sound awful. I can't bear that kind of thing - so utterly teenage.

My sil was a bit like this with my brother in their early days, she used to fondle him the whole time and call him vile cutesy nicknames. It turns out that she is a mad controlling cow, so maybe that is why i have a few Ishoos with this sort of thing.

My sil and bil are the same. Infact we're going there today! Ha! Ha! It doesn't come so much from her, deep down I think it makes her feel uncomfortable. Not only is he very touchy feely but he comes out with all these corny little names for her and is just so abnormally helpful, all the time. I'm not jealous!!! My dh and I are very loving towards each other (in private!) He is also (which I find really bizarre) all over the mil!!! Can't do enough for her, always there with his little voice. He doesn't really bother with the rest of us. But actually as I'm writing this I'm now wondering if it is possibly an insecurity thing! Maybe I might be a bit more sympathetic this afternoon! He's about 13 years older then my sil, (he's closer in age to mil) his ex wife divorced him and very quickly set up home with another man. Now I'm actually starting to feel a bit sorry for him!

yeah nancy, you gotta feel sorry for 'em

there is insecurity and control in there somewhere when people have to make such public displays of how wonderful their love is, like no-one else has felt like they feel, like their shagging is better than everyone else's

She's claiming him. It's her way of saying he's mine and not yours now.

Pass me a bucket.

You know what this sounds like. When you hear young kids say "I saw daddy kissing mummy ewwww yuk. I'm never going to kiss anyone when I grow up"

Maybe it's just a difference in this generation though given that I'm getting on a bit. Personally I'd rather kids saw more signs of affection in parents to offset the hate/dislike which seems to be more commonly displayed.

handholding when walking-yep

occasional kiss and cuddle-yep, when just us and kids (goes for all of us)

arm round shoulders-yep

occasional bum fondle when nobody watching-yep

in-yer-face displays of stroking, kissing and rubbing at family/friends dinner table or otherwise just publically shoving it in other people's faces-nope

Oh god, YANBU.
My big sister is 38 and her bf is 45 and they are all over each other, it's disgusting, walking along with their hands in each others pockets, snogging at the dinner table, sitting on laps and canoodling while we are sitting on safas chatting, bleurgh.

Last year at our christmas thing she was wearing a polo neck and was really warm so I offered to lend her a top (she was staying in the hosue next door and didn't want to go outside) I offered her a low top and she said she coulndt wear it as she wasn't wearing a bra as they had been 'naping' that afternoon. I lent her a bra and then calmly went off ot vomit in the basin.

Seriously though, I don't think overtly PDA's are acceptable at any age, and certainly not necessary unless you are at your iwn wedding.

"walking along with their hands in each others pockets" - yes, i had forgotten about that one. aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh

My SIL always did this with my brother, sitting stroking him/putting her legs across him etc, making reference to their sex life. They have just separated.

ditto coco to my dsis

I've been napping. What did I miss?

lol BOF

i had to LOL at the isshoooeeess post - i am so far off having issues! i'm prefectly content with life and contendly in love with my dh! just dont feel the need to hug or touch him all the time! our dc are loving cuddly kids - dont think they're affected by us not touching each other all the time!

but the vomit inducing comment today from BIL "Oh B were you at the toilet - i missed you so much" - while they hugged for like 5 mins!

Think they're as bad as each other!

I don't have issues, I know everyone has sex and it doesn't bother me, even my parents! I don't mind seeing people being loving in public, I think it's great and we always try to be loving around our children, we don't jump up if we're walked in on (we seperate and bring them in for a cuddle) etc. But sex is something that should be done in private (or in a place for sex ) not in your parents living room in front of your family during Christmas dinner! If you really can't wait to have sex with your partner then go home or find a room. Overt PDA is like doing foreplay in public and not something anyone wants to watch.

I happened to be sitting between my dad and DP during family present opening time this year so I got lots of lovely cuddles from both. My dad rubbed my feet when they were cold and I rested my legs on him because that was the most comfortable, if DP (or Mum, or Sis, or Nan, or Unc, or friend) had been sitting where he was I would have done the same. Not all touching is sexual, it should usually be just a sign of affection (and if it's the right person and in private, mmmmm....) but I do understand that PDAs can be yuk sometimes.

My BIL can't leave the room to have a shit without telling my Sil how much he loves her

Somethings should be kept private.
I don't want to see anyone else getting sexual anymore than I want to see them on the toilet. We all know what happens but please spare us the details.

My brother and his girlfriend still do this, and they've been together twelve years. They act like twatty teenagers, giggle and coo and follow each other from room to room. Not only is it hugely embarrassing for everyone, I just don't buy it. I think it's partly because emotionally they're not far off teenagers (no kids, life hasn't changed much since they got together) but am also convinced their relationship is fundamentally fucked - they need to convince themselves that they're 'in love' otherwise they'd have to look at the real issues hidden underneath the public display.

I know, I sound cynical. Mainly because I despair of DB ever growing up and i worry about him being in this miserable relationship.

what about this? I went to a work meeting a few weeks ago, 10 of us sitting round a board room table listening to managers talk. Two of the people in the meeting are married and they spent entire meeting holding hands on the table and insisting on sharing all the handouts despite the fact that the managers provided one for everyone! WTF?? How unprofessional is that?

I really hate couples that whisper to each other. It's so rude!