to think that Bethlehem General should NOT be allowed to close its maternity unit to new arrivals on a night like this?

[SnowyBoff]

I mean, it's ridiculous, here I am, fourteen years old and up the duff, ready to pop at any moment, and they're directing me to blardy Jerusalem Maternity Hospital. DO THEY THINK THIS DONKEY'S GOT WINGS???? Anybody know of a handy local independent midwife?

Can't you bounce on a birth ball cross your legs you wuss.Which one of the 3 wise men got you dirty cow up the duff anyway?

Well, I've just had a baby boy.
I am not a dirty cow. It all came to me in a dream. Do you know my mum????

too much come to you my girl!your mum wrote something on manger bog wall about you.

has that poor donkey even been watered and fed yet?

Congratulations
Well obviously the girl names are out, any idea what you're going to call him? Someone further down suggested Brian - you like it?
Hope you've had an OK night and managed to get your hair straightened

Well, I think I'll go with Brian. That's a lovely name. Hair is looking good but I am having a few latching problems and praying for divine intervention.

Welcome to the world Brian
I wonder what he'll be when he grows up

Don't sweat it Brian no one will believe in you. Don't be showing off any of that water into wine nonsense either.Too Flashy. Makes you look like David Blane.

Any suggestions as to a good handbook to guide Brian's upbringing? This all came on a bit sudden, like, and I could do with a few tips.

is the donkey ok though?

The donkey is doing surprisingly well considering how much of me he had to cart about over the last few days.

Tis ok, SnowyBoff, you don't need any tips on bringing him up. Just do nothing until he's around 13 and then you won't hear a peep from him til he's 32 - the laissez-faire approach works a treat. Just don't let him get in with those rough cousins of his.