to say no to dh....

[issysmilkbottle]

dd is 4 weeks old, for about two weeks she's been colicky and this week its been worse between 11pm and 5am... Its hard, she goes blue screaming and dh snaps as he's tired having to work etc... Anyway I did some reading and saw that part of the problem might be over stimulation.

Until yesterday we had kept dd downstairs with us in the evening until we tried to go to bed, last night we took her upstairs at about half seven and kept her quiet, did a feed (bf) and got her to sleep nicely by 8, I put the baby monitor on and managed to have a bath and eat some dinner... dd woke at 12:30 and fed, going back down nicely until 6:20, then fed and went back down at 8 until half ten... Success!

Anyway, dh said he doesn't like her being up out of the way and has asked at least 4 times today if we can keep her downstairs longer... I keep saying no and this last time I snapped and said 'so you want to be selfish and keep her up despite it being she'd probably be in pain/stressed again???' he thinks I'm being unreasonable and not giving him a say... I don't want to see dd distressed and also I don't want to ruin xmas!

Aibu??

YANBU. He was cross because she was crying. You found a way to stop her, but he doesn't like that either? You've got to do what is best for her, which imo is getting her to sleep

Well, he could always go up and spend his evenings reading quietly in bed? (We used to do this a lot with a little baby). He is probably just missing her cause he is at work all day and then doesn't get to see her much in the evenings. I wouldn't keep her up though, clearly she needs the wind down.

YANBU - we found similar with our DD 6 years ago - she was much calmer in a routine, and thats whats best for her and best for you - esp as your DH isn't offering too look after her all night.

Does he really want her to be in pain and crying all night???? And if thats the case is he happy to look after her all night? If its just that he misses her say he can read quietly in bed whilst gazing at her?

With DS 2 years later we worked at getting him to bed at 7pm from the start... never really understand why people try to keep their tiny babies awake in the evenings.

YANBU it is better for all of you

I think he needs to hear that it is better for babies to have a good evening routine, which usually means bed at around 7pm. perhaps if he knows that this is what a lot of parents (most?), do, he will fall in with it. poor you and poor dd! good luck.

thank you

My sis has the same prob with her dp over their 5 month dd, I'll show her this too....

I remember dh making dd cry by 'playing' with her when she was a few weeks old - she just found it way too much! I broke it to him gently, but you should have seen his little face crumple

Your dp probably just misses his baby, as he is working he will see lots less of her?

YANBU - sounds like you've found something that works, so you should make the most of it.

All babies are different. We don't "try" to keep DD up in the evening, but trying the opposite just doesn't work for us, as that's when she likes to eat. Would love for DP and I to have an evening together - will try the routine again after Christmas... DP will probably miss her when / if that works.