hi
there have been issues with dps parents since ds1 was born 8 years ago.general pettiness and being nasty at times towards the kids in a way that the kids dont realise but we as parents do.they even expected us to use equipment that wasnt safe when ds was little, just because they'd bought it.loads of petty things they did.
everytime dp gets a new job or gains a qualification or does well in something there's no praise, just a sarcastic comment like "suppose you'll be on more money now then" it's like they want him to fail at everything and be miserable.
as far as they're concerned im a snob because i dont like their cats climbing all over their wiping up and then giving me food off the plates, i want to do well in my job, kids do well at school and generally live a normal life.nothing fancy, we live in a council house and wear asda clothes! hardly snobs.
all they do is bicker with each other everyday and moan about everything under the sun. we've fell out loads of times and they wouldn't ever apologise to us for nasty things said and done and everytime we've eventually backed down and sorted things out just to keep the peace.they even got in a strop because we found out a few years back that the children are allergic to cats and dogs and that's what sets ds's asthma off and makes him ill alot so we said they would have to visit us instead of us going over to theirs as they have 2 cats and a dog.their words were that we're just being awkward.they didnt come over for a few weeks.
im now pregnant again and it's obvious from when we told them that they didnt want us to have another child. since then there have been sly little comments here and there and lately its got worse.they dont like the name we've chosen for the baby so "best we change it" they've gone on and on about it even after dp has told them we will call it what we want to call it and that we like the name. they came over the other day and said that we'd better be having a girl as they feel sorry for it if its a boy with the name we've chosen and that they wont call it by its name when they come over, they will call it it and say "come here it" other nasty comments followed to the point of our 8 year old getting up and telling her we can call the baby what we like as its not her baby! she was upsetting him, me and making dp furious. i got up and left the room and took the kids to get ready for bed.
its a high risk pregnancy due to past problems and we will be lucky to have a healthy baby at the end of it and safe delivery let alone whether its a boy or girl and if they like the name or not. they never ask how i am or anything like that, i fell down the stairs and we told them and that week they didnt once ring to see how i am. they even told dp if its a high risk pregnancy then we shouldnt have got pregnant again.no support what so ever.
ds is upset that they said those things and was nasty and is worrying that they will keep being nasty when they come over. im fed up with the attitude and just want some thought and support from them and them to keep their opinions to themselves about names etc.if they havent got anything nice to say, keep their mouth shut basically.
dp told them that we are upset over what was said and the attitude towards me and the pregnancy and that when they come over we dont expect them upsetting us and being nasty, especially in front of the kids. if they are going to carry on being like that then they shouldnt come over. i dont need the stress and the kids dont need it either. it hurts dp that they're like this.it has gone on for years over different things behind the kids backs so its a shock to ds to see them like that as we've always sheltered them from it.they dont think they've done anything wrong apparently. we are in the wrong and being drama queens and out of order for saying she needs to change her attitude if she's going to continue coming over.she's away for xmas with relatives and has got them on side with her version of events and dp is getting it in the ear telling him im out of order and if she's not welcome none of them are as they all feel the same. if it was just the fact that they dont like the name there wouldnt be a problem, its the attituse, nasty comments and the way they've gone about it all that has upset us.
some of the things she said on the phone yesterday were really nasty and im even more determined now that i want nothing to do with her. im not interested in anything she's got to say as not one word of it will be an apology.she will never believe that they've done anything wrong. im just hoping dp sticks to his word that unless she changes, dps dad usually agrees with her, that she's not coming over.it's gone on for too long.we dont need it and we certainly dont need them upsetting the kids as well.
sorry its long, i needed to rant, AIBU? i just feel ive given in and given them so many chances and each time they throw it back in our faces.
thank you for any advice/thoughts