To really not like the expensive Christmas present DP has put a lot of effort into and was excited about?

[InMyLittleHead]

First, apologies for incredibly ungrammatical title of thread.

Basically, as I am going to my dad's for Christmas and DP is going to his parents', we have already done presents. He bought mine ages ago, in early Novemberish. I knew it was jewellery, but other than that no clue. I could tell that he was dead chuffed with himself for getting it. He kept mentioning it in the run-up to Xmas, saying 'I really hope you like it' and 'I think you'll like it, etc', sweet.

So, we did pressies yesterday.

It's a ring, gold, quite complicated with several different stones in it, quite old-fashioned looking ... really not my kind of thing.

I feel awful. It was obviously expensive, and it's not that I'm not pleased, because to me it really is the thought that counts, and he tried really hard which is lovely. But I can't imagine ever wearing it. It is the complete polar opposite of the kind of jewellery I normally wear, which is silver and plain.

Now I am shit at pretending, but I tried. I said it was lovely. But I've got one of those faces where you can tell exactly what I'm thinking, and I'm pretty sure he can tell I don't like it. He's said it's fine if I don't like it, and we can exchange it for something else. But I can't bring myself to tell him that, because he was so excited before, so I just kept saying 'no honestly, it's lovely'.

It is far too big for me, and needs to be altered. Maybe I will like it better once it fits? But obviously if I get it altered we can't exchange it.

I know, it's not the biggest deal in the world but I feel like poo about it. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Just pretend to like it and hope it grows on me, or bite the bullet, tell him I don't like it and get something different that I will like?

I think it's bloke logic, personally.

Girlfriend/wife has lots of plain silver jewellery. Bloke thinks 'Hmmm, she's not got anything gold and fancy, maybe I should get her something like that...' instead of realising you've not got anything gold and fancy because you don't like it.

Thanks for all your advice. He rang me earlier and I said I had asked a jeweller who said that because there are so many little stones in it that re-sizing it would be difficult and might damage it (white lie, I know - but I do think that is probably true). He said sorry for getting the wrong size (sweetheart) and 'let me have it back and I'll see what I can do next week'. Now just have to very gently wangle my way into accompanying him, so I can help pick - don't want him to just get the same in a smaller size!

ReindeerinaSkoda, you are right in a way - he once bought me a dress that I would never have bought myself and didn't like the look of on the hanger, but it was lovely on and a great choice. I was hoping this ring would grow on me in the same way but I don't think it is.

BlueBumpBlaze, I think you're spot on about bloke logic!

I still feel a little kick of guilt that I didn't react the right way, but I will make an epic fuss of him and hopefully he won't be too miffed.

I think that especially rings are very personal and it can be hard to get it right.

My dh has bought me some beautiful jewellery in the past (earrings, pendant, bracelet etc) but I think that even though I trust his judgement he would be reluctant to buy me a ring for fear I didn't like it.

I don't think there's an easy well to tell someone you don't like the present they've bought without causing upset though.

My DH bought me an eternity ring for my 30th birthday and I hated it...

It was supposed to engagement ring but it just didn't - the stones were the wrong colour, it didn't sit right....

I the end, very very tearfully, I had to admit to my Dh that I didn't like it and we'd need to return it...

At the time it was an awful conversation to have and I feel about this big doing it, but I then wore the replacement ring every day for 8 years until I lost so much weight that I couldnlt wear it for fear of losing it and I had to take it off (it couldn't be altered to small enough for me as it would compromise the setting of the stones).

do you fancy swopping it for the $20 nasty black pvc bag I've just opened from DH?
I suspect the divorce figures will be up in January

Sorry, my keyboard was going strange earlier - I meant to say that "it was meant to match my engagement ring but it just didn't"

It´s not to my taste.
Mind you I don´t like the silver one you linked to either!