To go and get the crimbo sweets from the car, even thought it might cause a row?

[QwikNameChange]

I have posted twice about my controlling partner and how I always have to ask permision/second guess my own judgement to keep him happy.

I was all full of confidence earlier, thinking "from now on, I'll just do what I want!"

However, 5 minutes ago my DS asked me "Can we open the Quality Street yet??"

I immediately thought "better not, DP will moan" and there ... I caught myself doing it again!!!

So basically, DP has said we're not "allowed" to open the sweets until Christmas eve and for this reason, they have been left in the car. I have the car today however and me and the kids all want the sweets.

Is it unreasonable of me to go and get them, despite knowing it will cause a row when he gets in? I mean, I'm just as entitled to open them as he is, right?

YANBU - go and get the wsweets and enjoy them. Tell him he is a control freak if he starts when he gets back.

You are equal remember that. You should never have to ask his permission for such things.

Of course you are entitled to open them! Go get them now and enjoy them. If he has a problem, he can go out tomorrow and get some more.

YANBU

enjoy them!

Well, waddya know ... the tins have gone missing from the car Obviously hidden from me the kids.

So I've opened the shortbread instead, that should piss him off even more lol

Open them and if he creates when he gets home say in a calm manner 'do you realise how petty yet controlling you sound? It's Christmas, your children and I wanted a sweet do you really begrudge that?'

Oh just seen he has taken the sweets!

As for the shortbread, eat the bloody lot!

On a serious note would he really get upset?

Why are you with such a controlling twat?

He'd say something like:

"I thought we agreed that the sweets wouldn't get opened until Christmas eve?"

To which I'd reply

"No, YOU said you didn't want them opening until Christmas Eve, I wasn't too bothered personally"

Then he'd say

"umm, well you say we don't discuss anything and then you go and do this behind my back"

Seriously, that's how much of a mountain he would make out of this molehill. I'd then get the silent treatment all night.

I am wondering that lately, Badietbuddy

Have you spoken to him about this before, like a serious sit down 'we need to talk' type thing?

so he's already nicked the sweets then???

Shame you cannot go to the shop and get another tin and all be enjoying them whenhe comes in. He was saving the others for christmas, not the ones you have just bought. He sounds a bit of a twat. My DH would be wearing the bloody tin if he controlled my choc intake.

I have spoken to him before. I told him I feel like he controls my every movement but he twists things and says "when have I ever stopped you doing anything you wanted to do?" and then I'm put on the spot and can't recall a time that he has physically stopped me doing anything because its all pyscological.

The sweets have gone missing, yeah. He'll come in with a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why he had to move them though, he probably thought it out as he removed them from the car.

Perhaps if he starts about the shortbread, you should spend the evening asking him before you do anything. Drive it home to him how pathetic and control freaky he sounds. DH - would it be ok if i went to the toilet. DH would it be ok if I put the dc to bed? etc etc until he realises what he must sound like.

when he asks you when he's ever stopped you doing anything say 'all your sulking and tantrums afterwards put me off.' he will deny, which will be your window for doing EXACTLY what you want and then point his crap behaviour out to him. you gotta give as good as you get. being reasonable isn't going to win you this argument.

good plan, hugebaubles. also try repeating his last ridiculous sentence in a sarky way, incredulous that he could have said it in the first place. a bit passive agressive, but maybe he'll stop this crap.

Go and buy another tin! (and send the strawberry creams over here )