To wonder what sort of person goes to Featherdown Farms?

[MamaVoo]

I received the brochure this morning and if I had to describe it I'd say it was over priced 'camping' for the posh. I'm imgaining that the brouchure is aimed at families who have houses in affluent parts of London and children who spend all of their time sealed into mummy's 4x4 being ferried to a variety of extra-curricular lessons.

Things that made me particularly were the 'slow food packages', whereby you pay £32.50 and they give you the ingredients for a stew which you then have to cook yourself over a fire. Then there is 'private bunny hire'. £15 to look after the farmer's rabbit for a week - not forgetting to clean the hutch out before you leave. Is it just me who can't see the appeal?

I lie te idea of posh camping, fforest-Cold at Night in Wales also looks lovely with thier Dome tents with big double beds and glorious views.

But I'd never go to centre Parks. That fills mewith dread. Echoy indoor chlorinated pool areas for relaxing is my idae of hell.

And "try out the local dishes" ? ?

In Hastings ? We don't have any traditional dishes !

Maybe you did in the old days!

They are obsessed with this notion of a quaint rural past where all the yokels had rosy cheeks, tugged their forelocks and merrily tilled the soil while whistling a merry tune.

Although I'm not sure how many yuppies would fancy a completely authentic 18th century farm experience...

trust inthe coutryside? do they not watch heartbeat?

We went for 3 days last Easter and had a great time, although damn freezing at night.

We didn't purchase the extras as went shopping to the local supermarket, and even took our own teatowels and candles.

Went with 2 other families and it was lovely for the children to be able to play together outside our "tents" and play with the baby goats and down by the stream.

The insides are lovely (for camping) my DD thought she was having an adventure even when going to bed (the way they are built).

It was posh camping, which I believe it called Glamping.

Would definately go again, but only in the summer.

Other people there weren't overly smug or 4x4 drivers either (well one of our friends is). There weren't any lager drinking, swearing oiks there either grin.

Glamping is the way to go (especially after spending a week camping in North Wales in the pouring rain.

That's because there were no oiks in the old days! They probably weed out any oik with the temerity to book a place!

Do they have a blusher brush to rosy your cheeks up on the way in?

It's real "I saw you coming" (Harry Enfield) shit isn't it?

Of course I meant "rosy up your cheeks"

watch this

That's what it is...

Can I just say the bit about slow cooking the bunny at the start of this thread really made me larf.

Have never heard of Featherdown Farms but I think this is one of the best threads of the year.

"The Wood-fired Traditional Oven:
For baking bread and other delicacies, using the cooking methods of the olden days"

"In the olden days, bread was baked in a stone bread oven."

"They had to work very hard in the olden days for small quantities."

There was an article in the Telegraph or Guardian a few months ago by someone who'd been to a Featherdown Farm tent. She said the next tent had been hired for a hen party weekend and it was hell on earth. Screaming, drunk women staggering about and throwing up till 4:00am every night.

I'd have been so pissed off if I'd spent all that money and had to put up with that. I'd have set their fucking tent on fire.

"Feeding the orphan sheep"

Do they pre-orphan them?!? Or can I sue if they've said I can feed orphan sheep and they don't have any??

Stripey: If they were locals on a hen night you could've got into the swing of things!!

"Using the BBQ you can select a joint of local meat to spit roast"

Northerner - something else for you to do - compare the british site with the american one. Nearly identical but more condescending in some ways and less in others. e.g. the british site explains in brackets what a 'nightcap' is. "A hat made of soft cloth and worn in bed".

hocuspontas: Why would you do this to me?!?!

UK: "Staying on a Feather Down farm, going back in time, however you don't have to sleep on a wooden block with a straw mattress!"

US: "In a couple of key ways, a stay on a Feather Down Farm does not require you to go quite so far back in time ? namely sleeping, bathing, and the ?necessaries.?"

Now I am curious about these "necessaries"... and us Brits do not need to be reassured about not bathing, why we obviously still don't do such modern nonsense!

We have been there,it was fabulous and relaxing

This was my favourite bit:

"Who are our customers?
Our target group are double-income educated families with children between 2-15 years old. They are high consumers who are aware of their surroundings. Our customers consciously seek out small-scale educational holidays in picturesque rural settings."

Kerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrchiiiiiiiiiiing!!!

Even when we had a double income I don't think I'd have paid quite so much to stay in a field.

I'd like to see a seaside version where everything is very Famous Five/Cockleshell Bay. Now that I'd pay for.

"Who are our customers?
Our target group are double-income educated families with children between 2-15 years old. They are high consumers who are aware of their surroundings. Our customers consciously seek out small-scale educational holidays in picturesque rural settings."

Translation:
"Our target group are desperate pushy parents from the shires with children called Oliver and Jessica. They don't wish to rub shoulders with anyone who might smell or go to state school, and choose their holiday with the main intention of braying about it at Islington dinner parties. Our customers consciously seek out high-ponce holidays with a spurious 'educational' value so they can feel morally superior to the people who go camping in France or to a beach resort."