to not really like going to pubs by myself?

[ButterPie]

I used to go out by myself several times a week, back when I was young and had no responsibilities. I would just stick on a bit of makeup and head out, sometimes to places where I knew there would be people I knew, sometimes to new pubs or clubs. Sometimes I would take a book or newspaper and settle myself in a corner with a nice half of real ale, but generally I would just strike up a conversation with whoever was about, and I made some brilliant friends and met some very interesting people doing this. I used to frequent rock/biker/arty type places as well as more "local" pubs. I ran a local music fanzine so tended to know what was going on.

However, that was four or so years ago. Now I have two kids and spend most of my time in the house with them. We have moved away from the people we knew in our old city, and now live in a suburb, which I generally love. However, DP will often nip out for a few drinks and get chatting and so on. I seem to have lost my confidence. Not that I want to go out much, but it would be nice to do it every so often without dp.

Is this a mum thing? Or do I just need to bite the bullet and go out there?

No it's not a mum thing, I wouldn't go out by myself either.

P.S. are you away for christmas? wondered if you fancy coffee next week? Washy Sains?

Juney-I'm off to the ancestral home (well, my parents house) from boxing day until the 5th Jan, but would love to meet up after that. Endless conversations about teddybears are starting to wear thin, so adult conversation would be brill

YANBU, I wouldn't go out by myself. When I was younger I used to hate even having to walk into a pub by myself if meeting someone and used to dread getting there first.

Not helped by the fact that on one of the occasions I had to go in to look for someone, I got about 3 yards into the pub in question before some drunken bloke came up to me and said (I kid you not) 'Will you have sex with me?'

Nothing like the direct approach to dating I guess..!

Go on, do it! I went out on my own to the local place at the weekend, and although I was a bit nervous, it was actually really fun. I think it's habit, more than anything else. My late gran used to do this, actually - whenever she went on holiday, she'd just find a pub or a bar and settle down into it on her own.

flowery - I used to get that all the time. I would just say "no thanks" and they would go away. It's not like they are expecting it to work, I think they think they are being funny.

Just do it! Take a book and go.

although agree having kids does seem to ruin self-confidence

I'm slightly reticent about going to the pub alone and ds2 runs one!

I love going to places alone and people watching, always have, but it's not everyone's cup of tea

YANBU, I won't even go to a coffee shop on my own

I only go to pubs by myself to watch a gig tbh. The locals round my way are either couples or gangs of mates. With the rock gigs in local pubs I just buy a pint and enjoy the band.