To wish my mum would put a stop to this ridiculous behaviour?

[MunsterMonster]

My sister is 15. She is not at all like other 15 year olds and we (and other profesionals) think she shows all the signs of having aspergers syndrome.

She has no friends.
She would rather watch "g-force" at the cinema than twilight.
She would rather read Horrid Henry than a book from the teen section.
She lives in her bedroom 24/7 just listening to the universal studios theme music playing over and over again.

Anyway, there is loads of other stuff but in basic terms, she is 15 but acts more like an 8 year old.

Anyway, her grandmother (not my grandmother) had a savings account for her which she was entitled to at the age of 15.

This ammounted to around £4k.

Personally, knowing her obsession with buying babyish toys and gadgets, I wouldn't have let her have it as a mother but my mum did.

Anyway, so far she's bought herself a Mac (£1000), a PSP (£200) and loads of silly toys, bits and pieces, "limited edition inspector gadget figure from America for £40" etc etc....

She now wants to buy ANOTHER mac for £1000.

She's just bought a bush baby teddy thing off amazon for £40.

My mum moans but it just annoys me so much that she's allowing her to waste all this money. When I was 16 I was thrown out of the house, had to live in a student house with not a penny to my name, had ZERO savings or anything.

I'm not jealous that she has opportunities that I didn't, I'm just annoyed that she's being allowed to WASTE these opportunities.

AIBU?

did you use to post under a different name? Can you speak to your DS? She really doesn't need 2 Macs.

No, YANBU. But I don't think there's anything you can do other than accept that this is how it's going to be. And comparing your life/treatment to that of a other siblings is the road to serious unhappiness and resentment - just don't even go there. What's done is done.

Why doesn't your mum say anything to her about it, instead of moaning to you?

Yes I did hoho but I was away for a while and forgot my log in details.

She already has a laptop btw, she's just buying these things because they have logos on them. For instance, she wants the macs because they have the apple logo on!! £2k on a couple of apple symbols?

Sorry, but YABU.

The decision was with your mother and she decided to give your sister the money. How she spends it is up to her. And it will be a valuable lesson one day if she does regret spending it the way she has done (and there is nothing to say that she will regret it)

MAC/ PSP sounds like fairly standard 15 YO stuff TBH.

It is her life, her money. Stand back and let her learn her own life lessons.

Anything for an easy life I suppose. Its always the same. She moans to me that she's always stopping off school but does nothing about it.

Her attendance at school is something like 75% and she's in year 11 doing GCSEs. My mum just says "if she won't go, what can I do?"

Rewind 20ish years, and you could be describing me, but I do not have aspergers, I was just different to other 15 yo's.

I would think that most 15 yo's, given that amount of money would spend it stupidly. If you are so concerned, maybe you should have a word with her about it, but at the age she is, I'm not sure she'll listen.

I'm reading this and thinking that my own dc's savings account will be changed for them to have access to it when they are much older than 15, and probably more capable of rationalising what they spend it on!

If she is like an 8 year old these won't seem like a waste to her. My 8 yo DD spends all her money on GoGos, it's what she likes. Although I think your mum should have helped her manage it better.

She's not using them mistleoekisses. She just buys them for the logos. She doesn't think like a normal 15 year old so will probably never realise she's wasted the money.

She has a wii which she never, ever uses and then bought an xbox 360 because it had a microsoft logo on it. She's never had it on.

She used to have a dreamcast which she used to put on and then just sit there staring at it.

I remember you posting from a while ago, I don't think your mum is going to change her attitude towards your DSis.

I think a lot of 15yr olds would just blow the money tbh.

Is anyone doing anything about the possible Aspergers?

YANBU, your mum sounds a bit feeble about imposing rules. My cousin is exactly the same with her DD, who is 17 and constantly loses things. My cousin just buys new things and carries on organising everything for her which makes me want to scream 'if you keep letting her be like that, then she will just carry on'.

So it would annoy me too but there's not a lot you can do about it.

Sorry, I'm getting behind with the replies. Not ignoring anyone.

If I gave my 8 year old £4k I know for a fact he'd waste the lot on xbox games, clothes and toys. Obviously, because he's a kid! but I wouldn't let him.

This is what is getting to me. £4k just being thrown down the drain and what's more is that she is due to recieve another lump sum when she is 16 to the tune of over £10k. All this money could really help her when she leaves school but they're letting her throw it away I just find it all so sad.

But the decision has been made. The money is hers. What is it you are trying to achieve? Put a stop on the money? Reverse the decision?

Dont get me wrong, I would never give £4k to a 15 yo to spend as they pleaase. I would have spent that amount at the age of 15 in a matter of months. And I was a fairly responsible 15 year old.

I think 15 is a odd age to let a child/teen have that amount of money, most 15 year olds would blow it on rubbish let alone a child with possible AS but at the end of the day it was your mothers choice.

I have seen your posts on here before (about your sister), has she seen any one about the Aspergers? Its tricky to get a teenager to see a doctor but maybe now she's getting older and noticing that she is different it could be a good time to get her asessed.

My brother is 30 next year and still blows any money thats given to him and as far as i know he has not got AS.

No nothing is being done about the aspergers. It is OBVIOUS to anyone that something is not right with her. I could make a list of symptoms here and you'd all scream aspergers/autism at me but its all been said before.

My mum took her to one pyscologist (reffered by GP) and they said they didn't think anything was wrong ... so she just dropped it.

"I can't argue with a doctor, can I?" is what she said but I would put my life on it there is something 'wrong' with her. Normal 15 year olds do not carry a teddy around with them, nurse it and then kiss it goodbye before school!!!! It makes me so angry.

Perhaps your mother feels guilty about being oo harsh on you and is tryng to make up for it with your sister by allowing her what she wants. Doesn't make it the right thing but

I was allowed anything I wanted Axis. I was spoilt, could get away with murder ... if I wanted a take-away for my tea, I'd get one etc. Anything for an easy life with my mum. She even used to give me £20 here and there at the age of 15/16 to go out drinking.

The difference is I never had step-father's parents saving up for me.

I'm not bothered about the money, I just have so many concerns about my poor sister I just wish my mum would wake up a bit and do something

It is incredibly hard to get help for teenagers with anything to do with mental health / special needs, especially things like AS which are diagnosed - oh god I can't remember the word, but it means diagnosing it from hearing the symptoms and the behaviour, rather than from something like a blood test - I know this from experience of my own sister. Even really extreme behaviour elicited no help from doctors or psychiatrists.

I can understand it must be really frustrating to be on the end of hearing about her behaviour from your mum all the time. So, YANBU.