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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to insist that we go to midnight Mass?

19 replies

IDontLikeDisciples · 22/12/2009 15:58

At least some of us-

I'm staying in a Holiday Cottage with friends. We decided to do this as a no stress Christmas - no pressure from family etc.

So I'm newly divorced, one friend is heavily pregnant and can't face the prodding and 'ooh go into labour and call him jesus' , one couldn't face the trip home to Texas, one has ended up in tears the last two years at her mums etc etc.

But I really want to go to this in the village. Most of my friends are ardent atheists. But surely they can get intothe spirit?

OP posts:

pooka · 22/12/2009 16:00

YABU. To insist.

YANBU to ask if anyone fancies accompanying you, in the understanding that if they don't, well that's their prerogative. Ardent atheists prob don't see attendance at church as getting into the spirit of it.

Twinkleandpearls · 22/12/2009 16:01

I always go but never insist that anyone else comes.

My mum who is an arent atheist loves midnight mass.

IMoveTheStarsForChristmas · 22/12/2009 16:03

you would be unreasonable to insist that they come with you, and if they say no, you would also BU to sulk about it.

Ask them to come along, if they say no, go on your own

as an athiest myself, i'd be very if someone tried to push me into going to church if I didn't want to.

Original poster

IDontLikeDisciples · 22/12/2009 16:04

Wrong choice of words.

What I really mean is I want company (and hopefully someone won't mind watching the DC when I go0

OP posts:

PanicMode · 22/12/2009 16:05

YABU to insist they come - as a churchgoer myself I would never put pressure on anyone to come with me. I would issue an open invitation and be pleased if someone wanted to come with me, but I wouldn't insist, or be upset if they said no.

Original poster

IDontLikeDisciples · 22/12/2009 16:08

Ah I'm sort of an atheist myself - but went to a c of e school.

I just see it as part of tradition.

Does that make me awful?

OP posts:

Avendesora · 22/12/2009 16:29

See it as a special treat, or self indulgence, just for you If anyone else goes too thats nice but it would be lovely for you too, a way to mark a new start perhaps? Have a lovely time!

Avendesora · 22/12/2009 16:30

Or...
Get them all drunk and dare them to go?

rimmer08 · 22/12/2009 16:32

you are definately being unreasonable to in sist that they do this. your friends are atheists so why would they want to go to church. as an atheist myself i would be offended if you were my friend. you are basicallt forcing your beliefs on them.

InMyLittleHead · 22/12/2009 16:33

I don't see the point in going to Midnight Mass if you don't believe in it. It's like people who are atheists but get married in church. I'm not hugely anti but I just don't get it. As an atheist myself, it's all meaningless to me, and I would feel as if I was patronising genuinely religious people if I went 'just because it's festive'.

You know you can't insist.

rimmer08 · 22/12/2009 16:33

by the way going to church is about belief not as a social gathering. i would tell you to piss off

alicet · 22/12/2009 17:23

I am not religious either but I went through a phase of going to midnight mass because to me it felt like part of christmas. Then I realised that as I thought all they were saying was bollocks (no disrespect intended to those who disagree!)I didn't want to go anymore. These days midnight is well past my bedtime anyway!

YABU to insist they go. YANBU to ask if anyone wants to come with you but if they say no then either go on your own or leave it.

your Christmas sounds fab by the way - hope you have a lovely time

nellie12 · 22/12/2009 17:27

if they are atheists then yabu to expect them to come with you. It would be like them telling you, you can't go because they dont believe.

Northernlebkuchen · 22/12/2009 18:00

Go by yourself. I'm going to the Minster by myself whilst dh looks after the kids.

domesticslattern · 22/12/2009 18:04

It is actually pretty offensive to drag atheists to religious ceremonies. You say you want a no-stress Christmas so for goodness sake don't make this the first argument of the holiday!

Jajas · 22/12/2009 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 22/12/2009 18:15

If it's supposed to be a no stress christmas then leave them alone about this! If they don't want to go, how would you 'insisting' add to the no stress atmosphere?

Seasonofgoodwill · 22/12/2009 19:16

YABU to insist people attend mass with you. But YANBU to decide to go to mass yourself, and ask whether anyone would like to join you.

IDontLikeDisciples, no of course it doesn't make you "awful"! Obviously churches hope that their message will strike a chord with those who attend. But you don't have to pass a believers' test to be welcome at church

mummyloveslucy · 22/12/2009 19:28

I definatly don't think you can insist that they go. I like the idea of getting them drunk and daring them to go.

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