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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Ahhh! what shall i do??

17 replies

BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 21/12/2009 22:21

Dh and i had planned on going to New York next feb for a weekend (3 nights), because of flights (get back in the morning)it would mean leaving the dc with my mum for 4 nights.

I was really looking forward to it but we were just about to book the flights and i've chickened out.

Ds will be 3 and has stayed with gps for loads of weekends over the past year so not worried about that. Dd will only be 10 months old. I've never even been away from her for a day. Plus she is bf but does have occasional formula (haven't even thought how that'll work!). I just don't think i can leave her.

BUT, dh and i desperately need a break on our own (our marriage has been awful the past 12 months although we're getting back on track) and i think if we took her i'd wish i was having the opportunity for romantic meals and full night's sleep. In short, i wish i didn't love my baby so much! (joke)

OP posts:

hf128219 · 21/12/2009 22:23

Go, go, go.

fattybumbum · 21/12/2009 22:26

Are you mad? Good lord - go!

angelbabe1982 · 21/12/2009 22:28

GO!!! NYC is fab! Your DCs will have a great time being spoiled by GPs. Also, it sounds as tho your marriage needs it - get 'reconnected' with DH. I'm sure DD will manage on formula or would you be able to express maybe?
Trust me, me and DH did something similar when DS was 8mths - gave us perspective and time to get to know each other again! Just make sure one or other of your mobiles work over there and leave all details (hotel, flights, etc) with relevant GPs.
Have a good time!

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 21/12/2009 22:29

if your that worried why not stay in UK, then if you need to get back you can

QandA · 21/12/2009 22:29

TBH, I was going to say that if you didn't feel comfortable with it, then don't do it, but If your relationship has been a bit rocky then the break would do you both the world of good.

Having happy parents will make your children very happy in the long run and if you can do something to help with that, then go for it.

mazzystartled · 21/12/2009 22:30

Does it have to be New York?
Nice hotel a drive away, two days, one night. Save NY till you really want to go. It's lovely in late September.

nannynobnobs · 21/12/2009 22:31

I think you'll regret it if you don't. DD will be fine for 4 nights- even if she's not stayed away from you before, your ds will give her something familiar to be around as well as your parents. The time will fly by and it's only four days out of all your lives. Do it

ReindeerRusso · 21/12/2009 22:34

Well my first instinct was to say go to NY. But I guess if you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to quite so far to give your marriage a boost. You could find a good deal at a lovely romantic hotel in the UK.

bubbleymummy · 21/12/2009 22:35

I agree with lisad - Definitely go away for a couple of nights with your DH but stay a bit closer...London - Edinburgh or anywhere with a King size bed

My two DSs are the same age as yours and I definitely couldnt be more than a couple of hours away from them at this stage. Maybe plan a Christmas shopping trip in NY next Dec? Something to look forward too...

StayingSantasGirl · 21/12/2009 22:38

Edinburgh has the most fantastic hotel - the Balmoral - right on top of Waverly station. I'd say that would be a great place to reconnect with your husband and pamper each other - and you'd be able to get home quickly if you were worried about the dc.

Have a lovely time - you deserve it.

thesecondcoming · 21/12/2009 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JaneS · 21/12/2009 22:40

Go! You owe it to your lovely baby to be able to say to her later on, 'That was the holiday your dad and I had when you stayed with granny - we had a GREAT time!' She'll think you're cool

curlytoes · 21/12/2009 22:42

I agree with everyone else. Absolutley - go! If you'll feel happier having a lovely break closer to home then do that but enjoy some time with your DH and don't feel bad. I'd bite your arm off for a minibreak type thingy. The local travelodge would do me. Just some unbroken sleep and time off untangling DS2 from the fairy lights would do me!

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 21/12/2009 22:43

center parcs do weekend breaks and evelden have a great spa, and some lovely villa with outside hot tubs, saunas ect. And def doesnt feel like your near anyone ;)

Fizzylemonade · 21/12/2009 22:46

Left ds1 when he was 2 1/4 with one set of grandparents for 2 days then the other set for the other 2 days so me and Dh could spend our wedding anniversary and an extra 3 days in Venice before we had another baby (turns out I was pregnant when I went )

Best thing we ever did. We were lucky that we had such willing parents. My Mum now has terminal cancer, so we may never be able to do this again

Live for now, enjoy your time as just a couple. New York is an amazing opportunity. Do it.

Sooty7 · 21/12/2009 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CirrhosisByTheSea · 21/12/2009 23:46

It doesn't have to be 4 nights in new york - for me that would have been asking waaaaaaaaay too much. My ds is 7 now and I wouldn't actually want to be on a different continent to him!!!

I agree with those who say go somewhere lovely, somewhere alot closer! It's still a break on your own and I would have thought without the stress and worry of being so far away from your baby/child.

Flip