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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to let 15 year old go to Stonehenge for Winter Solstice?

19 replies

newnamenewlife · 21/12/2009 20:59

My lad is going to Stonehenge for the sunrise tomorrow morning with his female best friend. Her Aunt, a Wiccan so has done journey many times before, is taking them. The roads are terrible and it will be icy when they levve in the middle of the night. No, she does not have 4 wheel drive. I am so worried. Husband thinks we should let him go. He has gone to stay with the friend tonight.

I just don't know - is this something I should say I believe is dangerous and stop him? Or should I accept he is nearly (but not quite!) a man and is going with an, known to him, adult?

Stopping him a scary prospect - the testosterone is flying around here!

OP posts:

Tortington · 21/12/2009 21:02

i suppose this rests on whether you trust the judgement of the adult - rather than anything at ALL to do with the child - or he is a child.

so - is this adult mature enough to look after your child and keep him safe?

lolapoppins · 21/12/2009 21:03

Umm, if it were my ds going, then no. Just because of the state of the roads, I would be far too worried.

Original poster

newnamenewlife · 21/12/2009 21:04

I have not met her - but I do know her mother, my son's friend's grandmother. She is pretty reliable on the whole - and has a high opinion of her daughter (the Aunt!)

OP posts:

Wineonafridaynight · 21/12/2009 21:38

I would let him go. If she believes the roads are not safe then I would expect that she would stop.

I expect she will leave extra time to get there, particularly as she is Wiccan, it is likely to be an important thing for her to be at so she will want to leave time to drive carefuly, safely and get there on time.

Is it far away though (also does it involve hitting the M25 from where you are as all my family down south have said it is a nightmare down there as they have closed one junction!)

CirrhosisByTheSea · 21/12/2009 21:54

hmm. I can't imagine letting someone I'd never met take my child out in the middle of the night in some of the worst weather conditions we've had for a long while......however maybe that is because my DS is 7, not 15. I don't know! I think you are only right to be concerned about this is all I can say. I think what I can say for sure is, I wouldn't allow it without even speaking to the adult so that you can gauge whether they are sounding sensible about it or completely ditsy and someone you would not trust to realise when things were a bit dangerous, etc.

ginnybag · 22/12/2009 09:16

Does your son actually believe in any form of Paganism, or is he just going along for the kick?

Think of it in these terms - If this was a church service on Christmas Eve or Good Friday, would you be letting him go? If he's just going for the jolly, then say no. It's not worth it in these conditions.

If he actually believes, you may have to talk to him and see what he says. Does he understand why you'd be concerned?

TheFoosa · 22/12/2009 09:21

I'm sure she wouldn't want to put herself or her dd in danger either

but I would be worried

not helpful really, sorry

CitizenPrecious · 22/12/2009 09:24

What happened in the end?

..it sounds fab. Whatever happens he won't forget it

TheFoosa · 22/12/2009 09:26

oh it's been and gone

SolidGoldpiginablanket · 22/12/2009 09:28

I hope you let him go. It would be an unforgettable experience for him and the fact that it's potentially a bit risky would probably make it even more exciting.
Bear in mind that nothing is completely risk-free, but you can't spend your whole life indoors whimpering with fear

bintofbohemia · 22/12/2009 09:28

Oooh, did he go? Am very jealous if he did!

WoTmania · 22/12/2009 10:02

Did you let him go? Hope you did and he had a fab time. We considered going but DH had to work and I wasn't handling a 4 (and 1 day!),2 and not yet 1 year old alone.

Original poster

newnamenewlife · 22/12/2009 12:46

He went! And is back home!!!!

Spoke to the driver and she sounded well prepared. So pleased, he had a fantastic time and has some beautiful photos.

He is neither Pagan nor Wiccan - but has learnt a good deal. Including how many adults openly take drugs I am afraid. Hey ho. Happy Christmas to all.

OP posts:

junkcollector · 22/12/2009 12:55

You have restored my faith in human nature. You were understandably worried, but let him go to have a great independent experience. I hope my mothering is like yours when my Ds reach the teenage years.

ginnybag · 22/12/2009 13:05

Good ending all round then.

Am very jealous, btw....

Glad he enjoyed it.

SolidGoldpiginablanket · 22/12/2009 19:05

Glad to hear it (TBH if he doesn't know by the age of 15 that a lot of adults take recreational drugs it's about time he learned - doesn't mean he has to take them too).

FolornHope · 22/12/2009 19:06

did they all go on the wrong day?

chegirlwithbellson · 22/12/2009 20:02

Glad all went well. Was tempted to tell you what happened when I went to Stonehenge when I was 15 but thought best not!

Just think of all your worst nightmares about your teenager rolled into one

To be fair, I went in the summer and the adults I were with were very far from responsible!

Original poster

newnamenewlife · 22/12/2009 20:39

It was the right day - I believe the night of the 20/21 has Pagan rituals, the 21/22 Wiccan. But...on both nights people can actually get to the stones. He had a fab time....and is at a party tonight...and I found (yes I was hunting) a tiny bit of weed in his bedroom this afternoon. Have not told husband yet. I am thinking.

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