to have totally opted out of christmas.....

[hurrydownthechimneytonight]

Ok were 35 weeks pregnant and im on a dmp due to debt etc. Every year we manage to buy a little something for everyone in the family even if its just spending a fiver per person but this year is very different.

Had notice served on us a couple of weeks ago due to rent arrears and so our priority has obviosuly been clearing the arrears as much as we can, along with buying last bits needed for babies arrival and food for ourselves.

I have explained the situation to my own family who have been fantastic and understanding and have said dont buy anything for them or the kids which has taken the pressure of.

DH family though are quite different and his sis is very materialistic spending lots of money on us every year. His dad visited this weekend with gifts and I explained honestly we can not afford presents this year very sorry but priority is the baby etc, he was fine, but we still have not told his brother or sister! I feel terribly embarassed and dh wont do this himself. Do you think we are being unreasonable and should explain to them or just wait and struggle to buy them something in the new year. We cant possibly tell them about the arrears situation.

Please dont suggest I make something etc as much as Id love to have been feeling incredibly stressed about the whole thing and just want to hide under my duvet till christmas is over. Told dh i feel to stressed to even discuss it iykwim.

Thanks and sorry for the rant!

promised would post an update bil was fantastic and very understanding! thanks for the advice ladies im glad i did it!

oh that is brilliant news I am really pleased for you

YANBU. Even if you had no money worries at all, you would be forgiven for not sorting out any presents by virtue of being 35 weeks PG. Your head will be completely focused on baby and you mustn't go out in this icey weather.

There was a good programme on R4 yesterday about women and debt. They said if you in a very tight spot the important thing is to prioritise your debts to make sure you pay off those with the biggest penalties first - i.e. your rent, your council tax and your TV license (as not paying these could see you in prison or homeless). After that you can come to an arrangement with your utilities, then the store/credit cards etc.

Everybody I know is having a low key xmas this year. I have only crap cheap things for family and have not bought for friends at all.

Have a lovely Xmas, you are doing the right thing for your baby and that's all that matters.

thankyou santas thats a lovely comment you posted

I certainly feel tonnes less stressed today not having to worry about bil knocking on the door as he said hed see us in the new year!

DMP is all in hand and luckily my main debts are not major ones in terms of rent ocuncil tax, we are behind on the rent but its clearing quite fast as we knew it would.

Lets hope this week flies by nice and fast then thats another week closer to meeting my little man!

I hope you all have a lovely christmas and new year and get to spend plenty of time with those you love! I think lots of us have come to realise this year its not about pressies! its about a heck of alot more

Thanksyou everyone you have all been lovely! xx