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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH and I have had a row and I want to know if I AIBU

24 replies

Quattrocento · 20/12/2009 20:55

I work full-time plus so weekends are when I like to spend as much time as possible. Quality time - you know the cliche.

We all usually eat every meal together, often with friends and other family members, but still, in principle, all together.

Well this pm I had to take DS to a party and then on to a sleepover. The drop off time was 6pm.

So DH cooked dinner. This is good because normally I do all the cooking and sometimes it's nice when someone else cooks. He phones at 6pm, just as I'm pulling in to the drop off. I explain that I'm just dropping DS off and I'll be back at 6.30. Long sigh. Then he says that DD needs feeding NOW and therefore they will eat NOW and I can have something when I get home.

Given that we normally eat dinner sometime between 6.30 and 7.30 (they have a snack around 4pm) I'm upset that he couldn't wait less than half an hour for me to come home and we could have dinner together. DD is 11 btw, so we are not talking screaming low blood sugar toddler tantrums.

He thinks I am being unreasonable, because after all, he cooked dinner, right?

Incidentally, he cooked sweet and sour chicken. Famously, I will eat anything except offal or ... sweet and sour

OP posts:
GhoulsAreLoud · 20/12/2009 20:57

YANBU

PrincessToadstool · 20/12/2009 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notnowbernard · 20/12/2009 20:58

yanbu

Hassled · 20/12/2009 20:58

He's behaved like a complete twat. Is this one-off twattishness or is there a history? Or is there some sort of sub-text/long-running resentment over something unrelated which is being revealed by the current twattishness?

FolornHope · 20/12/2009 20:59

coudltn you just haev heated in it in micro?
ONE meal wont hurt

BooBooChicken · 20/12/2009 21:00

i think YANBU but i would give him the benefit of the doubt here and let it go. if he is a good man, and a good husband and father, it's not worth falling out over.

henryhuggins · 20/12/2009 21:01

i would say as a one off yabu
aren't there more important things to get het up about?

Original poster
Quattrocento · 20/12/2009 21:02

He knew fine well what time the drop off was, where it was, and therefore what time I would be back

He honestly can't understand at all why I am upset.

I was going to cook carbonara, btw as soon as I got back. For everyone.

OP posts:
jasper · 20/12/2009 21:03

very minor ,not worth a row

santaschristmascakeywakey · 20/12/2009 21:03

It sounds like you're both being a bit unreasonable.

Stirfry isn't great after being sat around for half-an-hour so can understand why he wanted to eat - perhaps he was ravenous as well? Don't see why he had to use the excuse that DD needed to eat now though.

However, seems a bit thoughtless to cook something you really don't like though.

foxinsocks · 20/12/2009 21:04

yanbu

in fact, I think this is the first time I've ever seen you post in here

I can understand why you are upset but it's exactly the sort of thing dh wouldn't get either

is he being nit picky and getting back at you over something? the sweet and sour thing plus not waiting sounds a bit, I don't know, deliberately arsey?

sherby · 20/12/2009 21:07

he shouldn't of cooked if he knew you were going to be there

perhaps 11yr old was being annoying and he in turn took it out on you for not being there?

and why would he cook sweet and sour if he knows you don't like it

annoyed about something else maybe?

MumNWLondon · 20/12/2009 21:07

YANBU - because they could have waited but if DD was say a 2 year old then I would have given different answer.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 20/12/2009 21:10

Oh I know it's minor, hence the AIBU. I think I am irrationally upset about it because I am missing DS like billyoh

OP posts:
GroundHoHoHogs · 20/12/2009 21:11

YANBU - what MumNW said.

minxofmancunia · 20/12/2009 21:12

yanbu they could have easily waited.

my dh says he "can't possibly wait" for food sometimes makes me . Will come into kitchen whilst I'm cooking and stuff slices of unbuttered bread into his mouth with a slice of ham stuffed between as 20 mins is too long for him to wait for dinner and he has to eat right NOW

Can't understand why I think this is bloody rude

Rude and twattish imo

whifflegarden · 20/12/2009 21:12

YANBU, because it's a slippery slope....you want to keep up that lovely tradition of all eating together and that takes some effort.

foxinsocks · 20/12/2009 21:13

lol, you old sop

FabIsGettingReadyForXmas · 20/12/2009 21:16

I think ease off yourself and don't stress about one meal not being eaten together but I don't understand why he cooked something you didn't like. Maybe it was more about wanting that and to eat it without you there than anything else. did he make enough for you as well?

Original poster
Quattrocento · 20/12/2009 21:24

He made plenty enough for me

Oh I am still cross with him though

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 20/12/2009 21:25

it's just inconsiderate really

and when you only have weekends all together, a little consideration goes a long way

CaptainNancy · 20/12/2009 21:27

Why on earth did he make S&S if you don't like it?
I'm sure dd could have been mollified with something for 1/2 an hour.

Fibilou · 20/12/2009 21:34

Mine does that too, Minx of Mancunia. Drives me wild with irritation
"what is there to eat ?"
"dinner in about 5 minutes"
"But i want something nooooooooooooooooooow"

You'd think he was starving to death, not 17 stone

thesecondcoming · 20/12/2009 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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