To be put out about this...

[KissingUnderTheMittsletoe]

Childrens father left in July, and wanted to come back, but I refused as things were crap.

Things have now settled to a certain extent, but he regularly says that he can't form a proper relationship with the DC'S because he only sees them a few times a week, (including a sleepover at the weekend). He sees them at my house one of the days because I go out and as neither of us have cars it just isn't possible to pick them up from his at a reasonable time on a school night.

He won't answer the phone or do certain stuff because it isn't his home anymore. Which is fine.

However, I have been having some odd phone calls where it is just silent. DS has occasionally answered these calls and I have stressed he is to bring the phone straight to me. There was one on the night I was out, and DS said he had rung the person back. I told him I had stated NOT to do anything like that and he said, 'but Dad told me too'.
Apparently his Dad then asked to speak to whoever was on the phone and spoke to them, but didn't mention it to me.

I am not happy that he got DS to ring this number.

He gets quite antsy about being challenged over anything and I don't want to make an issue over something so close to Christmas.

Have you reported these calls? You can get the number blocked.

If he didn't know how you dealt with the calls then YABU to expect him to follow your rules.

I'm a bit at 'can't form a proper relationship'. Get a grip man, you can totally form a relationship with someone you see a few times a week (that's probably how you got together in the first place, after all).

Forgot to add now he does know about your rule for the phone calls he should folow it.

Or you could put on the answering machine since you're not in.

I am sorting the calls,
I understand that it is difficult to know how each other does things separately but felt that getting an 11 yr old boy to ring back what potentially could be a crank caller was a bit .

He had massive jealousy issues throughout our relationship and I did wonder if he thought it was another bloke. (there isn't one). But again, getting DS to ring it back was a bit odd.

Perhaps not worth mentioning I guess. Dunno. there are a lot of little things at the moment and it made me feel uneasy.

This all sounds very odd. Was it a man or woman who your ex spoke to? Have you asked him who it was?

Just tell your son not to do it and let that be that, it really isn't a huge issue in my opinion.

DS said it was a man, it happened on Tuesday, but only came up yesterday when I had another one and DS remembered, so I haven't had a chance to speak to his Dad about it yet.

There are two numbers, one is actually a business one, which I have dealt with, the other says 'number withheld', but come at odd hours so can't call them back.

I don't think it is a huge deal MC, But mentioning it will have to be handled just right, and I was about it.