Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Be Disgusted & Shocked?

60 replies

TootsieSmith · 19/12/2009 22:26

Okay, so we live in an apartment and there is a big communal garden out the front. And this morning it was covered in snow, and of course all of the kids in the area seemed to have gathered there. Snowball fights and snowmen etc, harmless fun.

Anyway, I was on my way out when I noticed a few of the young boys chucking snowballs up at the apartment windows. From where I was I couldn't tell which window they were hitting. I asked them to stop it in case the window broke (because of rocks, stones etc) and one of the little lads said 'The Polish live there! We're not chucking 'em at your window.'

I said I didn't know what difference this made, and that if they didn't stop it then I would tell his parents, I am aware of who his parents are and where they live, but never really spoken to them. And he said back to me, this 8 year old boy 'f* off, why are you sticking up for the polish? mind your own business you cow!'

The polish family who live in that apartment are absolutely lovely, and their children are adorable, and unfortunately since they have moved in they have had quite a lot of trouble from some locals, middle class people from nice homes who are well liked, respectable people.

Anyway, obviously then this little brat decided to attack my windows instead and it was only when DH went down and asked him to stop it that he finally went home.

So an hour ago this boys mum knocks on my door, and said that her little boy was upset because I'd said he was being racist. I told her what he had done, and she said to me these exact words.

'I find it very upsetting that you would upset a child for the sake of foreigners, do you know that my husband was made redundant last week? Who do you think it is taking all of our jobs? My little boy is not racist, but they simply have no right taking our houses and jobs. We cannot afford to have these people here, and I find it dissapointing that you have no loyalty to your community.'

She threw around a load of other brainless generalisations and then sauntered off. Somehow I don't think I will be invited to her coffee mornings anymore!

I am so disgusted, honestly. What is happening to the world, and why on earth do seemingly well educated people deem it ok to be hateful towards people of different backgrounds, just through bitterness about their own situations? I am pretty sure I am not being unreasonable to find how that boy was acting very disturbing!

OP posts:
Original poster
TootsieSmith · 19/12/2009 22:28

That should have been coffee mornings *in future. I was never invited to begin with!

OP posts:
OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry · 19/12/2009 22:29

LOL

sorry, good for you

-- what horrible narrow mindedness, it will be the parents that cuase these feeling amongst the children.

Really commend you for saying something to the little boy, maybe it will sink in?

Lots of poeple wouldn't have said a thing

(and who cares, she probably drinks shit coffee any way )

moffat · 19/12/2009 22:31

of course YANBU - I volunteer in a school and have been dismayed to hear 7yr olds repeating racist things they have heard from their parents.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 19/12/2009 22:31

bet the Polish people are doing jobs her DH would think were "beneath" him.

chegirlwithbellson · 19/12/2009 22:32

I have more 'respect' for the wankers who actually admit to being racist that those who try and justify their disgusting views with toss like her.

You are right to be disgusted.

Stupid bint and her vile views that she has passed on to her child.

Next time she passes throw a snowball at her wrapped round a rock

MsHighwater · 19/12/2009 22:32

YANBU, that's shocking. I'd be tempted to tell everyone I know - and who know the family - what happened and exactly what she said. I wonder if the Polish family have reported the trouble they've had to the police?

Nemofish · 19/12/2009 22:35

Money and education don't equate to having an ounce of insight into her own behaviour apparently.

I would be tempted to ask your dc's school if they are doing any 'awareness' courses re: recent immigration in Britain...

Original poster
TootsieSmith · 19/12/2009 22:35

They have reported several incidents to the police but it seems to be taking a long time for anything to be done about it. Their little girl has been saying she wants to move back to Poland where people 'are nice and kind to her'.

OP posts:
Nemofish · 19/12/2009 22:36

Sorry forgot to say well done OP

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 19/12/2009 22:36

well done you, she sounds like a right cow and her child is being raised to be racist too.
We are lucky enough to have a mix of different culturals in our area, and love hearing stories about other places and different beliefs.

Paolosgirl · 19/12/2009 22:36

She sounds a penny off the full shilling tbh. Good for you for remonstrating with the little shit brat - hopefully it will have sunk into his thick little skull that it's not acceptable at all. You can't legislate for people like that - they are narrow minded and racist, and it sounds as if her husband's redundancy has fuelled the fire. Middle class or not, you can still be ignorant!

Ignore ignore ignore - and thank heavens you were never invited to her coffee morning anyway. Can you imagine the tedium of her conversation?!

scottishmummy · 19/12/2009 22:40

invite the polish family for cake and tea,show them not all people are mean.how rotten for them getting jip.

your neighbour sounds ghastly

ninedragons · 19/12/2009 22:41

What a moronic family.

It's a shame the schools aren't better at teaching economics, otherwise children grow up believing whatever bullshit their parents read in the Daily Hate. High rates of immigration to developed countries create economic boom conditions. Her husband is more likely to have lost his job because Poles are going home. Immigrants create jobs; they don't take them.

Vallhala · 19/12/2009 22:45

YANBU. For the record, we have a large Polish community in our small town. I have rarely met a more friendly, polite, hard-working people and am proud to live amongst them.

Well done you for sticking up for what's right. The dissenters' middle-class children may have more toys than yours but I'm damn sure I know whose DC are more caring, polite and well brought up.

brightspark2 · 19/12/2009 22:46

Might be an idea for you to report it to the police - surely this is a "hate crime"? And emotiional abuse to teach a child thosee views? If local people stick up for the fa,ily the police won't be able to ignore it!

Original poster
TootsieSmith · 19/12/2009 22:48

Thankyou all. I have taken them some mince pies for Christmas and some candy canes for the children, it's important to me that they know that not everybody feels that way!

OP posts:
megapixels · 19/12/2009 22:51

You did the right thing OP. What horrible people.

caramelwaffle · 19/12/2009 22:51

Good on you Tootsie!

And also what chegirl said

deste · 19/12/2009 22:52

"YANBU. For the record, we have a large Polish community in our small town. I have rarely met a more friendly, polite, hard-working people". I agree I have no problem with any incomers if they work hard and the ones I know have all been hardworking. We had heavy snow yesterday and today and Polish builders worked into the night last night (with torches) and were there first thing this morning in the freezing cold. Would her husband consider a job like that, I dont think so.

Janos · 19/12/2009 22:56

What an ignorant bitch. It's always depressing to come across such narrow minded and bigoted attitudes.

Thank goodness for people like you challenging them Tootsie.

MillyR · 19/12/2009 22:57

it is unbelievable. If people who think foreigners are taking our jobs and houses and think it is okay for their children to smash immigrants windows do no consider themselves to be racist, what on earth do they think would constitute racism?

VicarInaTinselTuTu · 19/12/2009 23:01

god that is soooo depressing but unfortunately its the popular view where i live at the moment too.....it pisses me off so much.

people are people at the end of the day. what does it matter where they come from?

i incurred the wrath of my workforce the other for helping a young pregnant immigrant, i just shut my ears and do whats right, but i had to enlist the help of my senior management cos no bugger else would help. its depressing.

PeedOffWithNits · 19/12/2009 23:04

YANBU it is very sad. All we can do is continue to set a good example to our own kids about NOT being prejudiced/racist etc

well done OP, you have the moral high ground.

ShinyAndNew · 19/12/2009 23:06

I think loads of people are thinking similar atm, unfortunately

I work in a chinese restaurant. The kitchen is staffed by chinese (obviously). A customer, who I had previously thought was nice recently whispered to me after ordering that if I thought they were 'illegals' I should ring immigration. They shouldn't be allowed to 'take our jobs in this climate' and 'should all be sent back to where they are from.

I asked if he knew how to cook Chinese cuisine and if he would be prepared to work 12 hours a day, 6 days a week for minimum wage. He declined to answer.

YANBU. I'd ring the police if they start doing it again.

ravenAK · 19/12/2009 23:08

Good for you.

Agree with scottishmummy about inviting the nice Polish family round for tea...& offer to make a statement about this incident if they're reporting it?