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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder why cousin has invited us to his DS's birthday?

16 replies

Brunettelady · 19/12/2009 18:57

Today I got an invite to my cousins DS's 1st birthday. Not strange, however...

My cousin is very volatile and recently at my nans there was an incident where my DS shouted very loudly and made his DS cry. Everytime my DS was in the room, cousins DS started screaming. Cue my cousin giving my DS really evil looks all afternoon, taking his ball and kicking it around in the hallway where my DS was playing and me and my nan both swear that he was trying to kick it at him on purpose with the ferocity he was using. I did tell him to stop doing it.

Little while later, cousin put awful message on facebook about how his GF was a fucking bitch and who did the stupid cow think she is, the fucking stupid bitch. I was worried as I know he had kicked her recently and told my nan, who then told his mum who then had a wrod with him. He doesn't know it came from me but he has guessed. Then he said "well I'm not going to nans if Brunette is there" (oh no, the guy who gives meaning to the word chav doesn't like me anymore). He hasn't given us a xmas card but has to everyone in the family and has just deleted my off his facebook list, as has his GF. Went to my nans today to find an invitation to his DS's birthday. I find this very .

I'm not sure why he has invited us, as I had decided anyway that I wasn't going to invite him to my DSs birthday with his appalling attitude. Now I feel like I have to go and have to invite him to my DS's party. Bloody family politics. AIBU for wondering why he has invited us?

OP posts:
SantaWears2SnowShoes · 19/12/2009 19:00

yanbu
and no way on earth would I go after he behaved that way with your child

nannynobnobs · 19/12/2009 19:04

He sounds an utter horror. Don't go, don't invite, don't get embroiled in family politics!
You are better off staying out of contact.

SnailWhaleTail · 19/12/2009 19:04

Sounds like a looper.

Don't go. It will be both painful and awful.

nannynobnobs · 19/12/2009 19:05

How old is he BTW?

RJRabbit · 19/12/2009 19:08

He wants the present for his kid.

RJRabbit · 19/12/2009 19:09

....or your Nan did the invitations?

Brunettelady · 19/12/2009 19:15

Nanny, he is 20 (recently) but is very very immature for his age.

RJ, that was exactly what I thought (about the present). The writing is too bad to be my nans, plus he may think it is a bit odd if we went! lol. I may check with my nan though, just in case.

OP posts:
dinoroar · 19/12/2009 19:20

don't go, don't invite
don't make any more contact, respond politely if he does

Morloth · 19/12/2009 19:33

Crazy person, do not engage.

Brunettelady · 20/12/2009 10:43

OK, I'm getting that I shouldn't go, good as I don't want to. Now I have to tell him without offending that whole side of the bloody family, who can be ridiculous at times. Any ideas? I would have sent a message on facebook (cowardly I know) but now I can't as I have been deleted.

OP posts:
ihatetinselbob · 20/12/2009 10:53

he's invited you as he probably wants a present. my cousin has also done this recently, i never see him, don't really get on with him, he's never even acknowledged the exsistance on my dc's and yet he invites us to his dd's birthday.
we're not going either.
your cousin sounds awful. just send a message saying you're busy, you don't have to say what yo're doing.

StewieGriffinsMom · 20/12/2009 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Heated · 20/12/2009 11:15

RSVP by text and say 'Thank you for the party invitation but unfortunately we will not be able to attend due to a prior commitment. Hope X has a lovely birthday.' and leave it at that.

There is no obligation to invite him to your son's party.

Longtinsellyjosie · 20/12/2009 11:15

Just say that given the shouting incident you think it's better for his DS if you give it a miss this year - but leave a (small) present at your Nan's and say hopefully they'll be getting on a bit better next year. Which handily provides a reason for you not issuing an invite...

Brunettelady · 20/12/2009 18:33

Thanks guys. I am just going to say we can't make it and leave it at that.

Longtin, I don't want to leave a present at my nans, as I don't want to start this present thing for cousins, I have enough brothers and sisters to buy for. Also I gave them a lovely bouncy chair when they were having their DS and they have never acknowledged it, we never had a card when DS was born or anything from them so I don't feel that I am obliged to buy a present for them. They couldn't even be bothered to give us an xmas card this year, which was a deliberate snub as everyone else got one quite a while ago. Thats why I was so about the invitation. Like ihatetinsel, I thought they were just after a present, but do people really invite others just to get more presents?

OP posts:
Longtinsellyjosie · 20/12/2009 18:54

Fair enough

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