to want boxing day to ourselves, to be a family of 3

[fairybubbles]

Well until yesterday our plans for Christmas day where made, we were seeing my family on Christmas day for a few hours & a meal, OH family on boxing day for the same. Then MIL said last night she would really like to come on xmas day to see LO and they would all just come, her, FIL and BIL at 9.30am on xmas day , even though she knows we have to leave at 10am. I didn't start an argument but I later asked OH if he could tell them it wasnt practical and if they really wanted to come on xmas day it will need to be afternoon after we get back from seeing my family. I also said that if we are having his family here for a few hours then I resented the fact we were speding boxing day (all day from about 10am to 5pm) at their home and I wanted him to explain that we would just be spending time as a family of 3 on boxing day so if they wanted to change the arrangements that would be fine.

I have never really got on well with his mother, she is v demanding and he finds it incredibly hard to say no to her demands. Its putting a big wedge between us, I actually asked him today after 7 yrs together if he actually classes me as his family.

They get to see LO weekly during the year, at least for a few hours at a time and we usually do something like have a meal with them so they get plenty of our time. I feel like I am being bullied by his family. I am close to telling him if he doesnt back me up this time we are parting. I just want to enjoy Christmas I am sick of her ruling everything.

Sounds like this is about a lot more than just christmas, but to deal with the immediate:

1. can you bear to see his family for 30 mins? If you can, perhaps you could load the car before they come, and at 10am on the dot go and sit in it/start it/pull out of the drive. Your OH will presumably throw them out and come with you...
2. If the boxing day plans are longstanding I don't think you can cancel them now, but make sure your OH knows how you feel about not havin a 'christmasy' day as a family

I think there's a lot more to sort out though.

I would tell her yourself (but be nice!)
Say that shes welcome to pop round when you get back.
You cant cancel boxing day! Shes looking forward to seeing you all and I'm sure you wouldnt want to cancel on your family so be fair.

This sounds like a total pain. I HATE plans being changed. I have real issues with it. It does sound like there is more to it with the parting etc, maybe after xmas is out of the way you should have a good talk with your OH. Don't make rash decisions atm.

I would do what you said and get him to tell them they can come over in the afternoon after you return, and if they want to do this, this is instead of boxing day, or they can just stick to the original plan. It sounds like his mum wants to have everything her way. What is the point in them coming over for half an hour? Unless they are thinking that once they are there, you won't be able to leave as early as you'd like.

If they do come for that half hour, do as Hopefully said and go and start that car at 10 on the dot.

Hope you get it sorted.

What about what your husband wants todo?
Perhaps he´s OK with seeing his parents Christmas afternoon & all day Boxing Day?