update to 'my family talking about personal things'

[susia]

A couple of weeks ago I wrote;
'a few weeks ago I found a lump in my vagina. I confided in my mum, went to the doctor and am going to have it removed. A few days later my aunt rang me and said 'I'm so sorry to hear about your lump'...

All I said was I was upset that my mum has discussed it with her. I then tried to change the subject and she hung up on me!

My mum has since apologised to me but said my aunt is upset with me for not being able to discuss things like this with her. That my aunt is offended and insulted...that I shouldn't be so sensitive and secretive...it has ended with a terrible row with my mum.

I don't know what to do. I am mortified that my mum discussed this with my aunt and that I'm being made out to be the bad one in all this and feel that I'm being treated like a child. I'm 43 fgs!'

Well in the last couple of days my aunt has sent me a Christmas card and put in in a note in the card 'I hung up on you because I was hurt' - nothing else. So she is still feeling offended that I didn't talk to her about it and will act the wounded martyr all over Christmas and I won't know what to say...

Bloody nerve of her! It's your personal business and you have the right to choose who you talk to and she wants to make it all about her and her feelings?

However, she was given this information. Be cross with your mother. She is the one who betrayed your confidence.

What to say? Well, depends how confident you are. Anything from "It's very personal and my mum shouldn't have told you or anyone." to "It's my vagina and I don't have to tell everyone about it"

Lesson - don't tell your mother anything you don't want others to know.

Tell her it nothing to do with her! Its a very personal matter for you and you do not want to discuss it further! She has a nerve to be peeved about it.

maybe she feels sad you don't feel close enough to want to discuss it with her

just move on

I would write a note back and say' I was hurt that you had to mention it and think that I would like to discuss it!'

If I were you I'd act like the wounded martyr instead and beat her to it or make a big thing of it and say I can't do that - washing up or something, I need to discuss my vagina with everyone!!

Good luck

meant to put or between the 2 paragraphs

Perhaps you should invite her to discuss HER vagina over the turkey and sprouts on Christmas Day?

YANBU and you know you're NBU.

And I hope your vagina is OK. Now, there's a phrase you never expect to say!

Did you put a little note in her xmas card saying 'my beaver my business'?