to not buy teachers/TAs /secretaries a xmas present

[yummyyummyyummy]

and just thank them and wish them a merry christmas instead ?

As a primary teacher I'm always very grateful to receive gifts. I also always make a point of spending my own money on gifts for the children (usu. a pencil, sharpener and rubber). However - and I know I'm going to get flak for this - I think if I didn't get any pressies, I'd be less inclined to buy stuff for the children. 50p each is still £15 and the children can be incredibly ungrateful ('I'm not having THAT colour!' to which my reply is 'Well, don't have one at all!'). I also spend my own money through the year on things.

So... no, it's not compulsory to buy anything, and why you'd be angry with yourself because you did is beyond me, but do remember it's also not compulsory for teachers to spend their own money.

YANBU I sent a box of biscuits in for the staffroom last year (as a teacher myself I know these are appreciated!) but this year DT2 who is a shy little thing has come out of her shell and is barely recognisable - all thanks to their Y1 teacher, so I have given her a bottle of wine to show my appreciation

YANBU but I do always buy the teachers and TAs a present. It is a personal choice because I want to show that I appreciate their hard work. The teachers and TAs usually buy all the children a little present too! I don't think it undermines professionalism at all!

Yanbu.

Dh is a secondary school teacher and they rarely get gifts. It is certainly never expected.

YANBU. And I say that as a teacher (although secondary, so we don't tend to get presents anyway) - I did get a lot of cards this year though.

Christmas is about giving, not getting, MrsBadger.

Galena- when did that start - teachers buying bits for the children? You really shouldn't and I bet most people don't realise it's from you own money. They don't need another pencil/sharpener/rubber or any of the other bits and pieces that you can buy for less than £1 (obviously more would be ridiculous.

My Dss have brought home a collection on pencil tops, yoyos and maze puzzles again this year. There must be so much money spent every year on bits of plastic that end up in landfil a week later.

Mind you, at the end of last year DS1's Yr1 teacher made them all personalised bookmarks, (printed from PC, with a personal message and laminated) which were lovely -made me cry.

I buy for teachers, assistants, and dinner ladies, and our Doctor. Tis only ever small, but I need to say thank you for all the little acts of kindness that they dole out over the year, and which make such a difference to my two shy children. We used to go way overboard too for our babyminder because we were so grateful.I am a teacher and I love getting presents.It makes me feel appreciated.

I think so too, but I was specifically addressing Hulababy's point re business-to-business gifts

I sometimes get them presents, but not always. It all depends on who the teacher is and how my DC feel in that class. This year, I didn't buy them anything, maybe next year I will.

I'm a secondary teacher and don't get gifts, but it is lovely to recieve cards, especially if they have a more personal message than 'Merry Christmas'.

My favourites this year were one where a boy had drawn a little picture of himself smiling,(I'd previously accused him of having a cheeky grin) and one where a girl had written 'have a lovely Christmas with your kids!' which showed me that she thought of me as a person with a life, not just the wicked witch by the board. These were both year 7 pupils, and it really is the thought that counts as far as I'm concerned.

I got a little something for my DSs teachers and TA, but only spent a couple of pounds on each. For me it was just a way of letting them know that I'm grateful for the work they put in. My DS is happy at school and developing well academically, and this doesn't happen by accident.

Forgot to say, YANBU at all, gifts are not expected. A parent taking the time to say thanks and Merry Christmas would mean a lot to me OP.

i buy my class a book each from the book people. But I don't care about getting presents from them in the least, I would rather the parents said thankyou for teaching their child and meant it.

On thusday a year 6 child ran up gave me a hug and a card and thanked me for teaching them science this year - that was a fantastic present since I know she really meant it

But many of DH's contacts are not handing money over. DH has clients who he passes on to them. Not often the other way round however, although very occassionally.

I still don't see the different re undermining professionalism. IMO it has nothing to do with professionalism.

Giving a gift to a teacher your DC likes and who you feel is doing a good job its just a nice gesture if you want to do it. A thank you in person or by letter is also nice gesture.

I think a teacher-pupil relationship is very different from that of corporate client. I had an epiphany moment a few years ago when I realised that teaching was all about relationships and not drilling facts into their ungrateful brains.

It is natural to give presents to people you have a relationship with. I would say in my school that we either get gifts personally as form tutors, or the family send in goodies for everyone to share. I received personal presnts from about one-third of my form (year 7), but I am sure the others gave to the staff as a whole (which I prefer).

Any present should only ever be a token. It is obviously not possible to put a price on the relationship, so you might as well keep it low. One of my girls gave me a chocolate coin with their Christmas card and that means just as much as the smellies I received from someone else.

I remember my dad getting loads of corporate gifts - bottles of whiskey, whole hams, hampers. I don't think these things are as sumptuous as they used to be but it was always lovely for us to wait for him to come home in the week before Christmas to see what he had - greedy guts that we were. It was a rare glimpse into luxury.

I gave my postman a fiver in a card yesterday. I hope I did not undermine his professionalism

Because I had a baby and have been ordering off the internet, he has had to deliver more parcels. For me, he has done extra work.

I see it the same way with teachers. If your child's teacher has done their job, no need for a present because, as many people in the past have pointed out, they get paid. However if you think that your child's teacher has worked especially hard with them or helped them in some way, it is not undermining their professionalism to say an extra thank-you with a gift. Nobody should feel obliged to buy a gift but I always do for people who have gone above and beyond the call of duty for my benefit, eg. lovely Mr Postman

AMeryScot - I agree, different type of relationship. A teacher pupil one is often a much closer and more personal one, therefore IMo it makes present giving much more accreptable, and not at all linked to professionalism.

DD took her teacher a gift, and her teacher gave her a gift also, same with her dyslexia support teacher.