to be slightly pissed off with OH

[lucyanna89]

Ok, this is my first AIBU, so be gentle. I know there are loooads of OH posts floating around, but don't think any are the same as mine.
So, we have a little boy who's almost 21 months old, and I'm 38 weeks pregnant with No2. We are absolutely broke, don't have all of the things we need for new baby (no baby monitor, no celular blankets etc, not really enough clothes, my hospital bag isn't packed as I have no pj's to take into hospital and no maternity bra for breastfeeding, we have no bottles on stand-by just incase the breastfeeding doesn't go to plan for whatever reason, we are just completely unprepared). We also don't have all of our christmas presents, we still have to find around £60 for those, no food shopping bought for now up until christmas, and no food in for our christmas dinner. We have £156 in the bank until next Thursday (christmes eve!!) and £104 of that has to go to the estate agents for our rent. So we have £50, for food until next week, presents etc. I'm just praying the baby doesn't arrive early, because obviously we don't have all we need for her. OH is working on a building site (he's a scaffolder) and today at lunchtime, so now, the WHOLE site according to him is going for a drink at the pub. So he's taking £10 out of the bank, but saying he'll only buy himself 1 drink and bring the rest of the money home. From past experiences I'm almost certain he wont be bringing anything home, maybe £2-3 if we're lucky. So AIBU in being a little pissed off at this, seeing as he's leaving us with £40 for a week. We also need gas because the gas is on a meter, and nappies. If this was a 1 off, and he never got money for himself then I might be able to be ok with it, but he has a LOT of money for himself, and I have squat. We both needed our hair cut the other week, low & behold, he's had his done & I haven't, and wont be able to for ages now I shouldn't think. He got me nothing for my birthday (end of November), he's got me nothing for christmas (I know this because I know where all of our money goes) and I just feel really fed up now.
So AIBU? Sorry for the essay

I think you're both having a hard time of it.

I have a pink and white stripey winnie the pooh maternity nightshirt in size 14 that you're welcome to if it would suit for your hospital bag. I can't say it's very attractive, as I bought it in desperation, but it's still fine and will at least be decent for hospital.

This thread has made me all teary t how lovely people can be to each other...and at Christmas too

Lucyanna, I think I have some breastfeeding bras from when I had my youngest child; they're barely used as I bottlefed him from 10 days old.

You're very welcome to them if you'd like them; email me at [email protected] if you'd like them

xx

YANBU.

Tell him (after Christmas maybe so he doesn't buy them beforehand) to save up for a pair of hair clippers. You can get them for the cost of 2 - 4 haircuts, they will very quickly pay for themselves. I've got quite good at dh's hair.

Will the child benefit for both children go straight to you? I hope so.

Maybe he will manage to buy one drink only - i really hope so.

Congratulations on your winter baby - they do look adorable in woolies

Lucyanna - email me at kab0901 @yahoo.co.uk. have got blankets, a couple of hooded baby towels and a few other bits can send to you.

Hi, I have bits and bobs also- email me at iphybinewski at yahoo dot com - it's no problem at all to pass them on, I'd be happy to help

I have some totally unused pj's size 14 (still in wrapper).

You can email me at cath 1510 @ hotmail dot co dot uk.

Hope this helps xx

Lucyanna, wishing you all the very best. I've got nothing I can pass on to you sadly, except my best wishes.

To the other girls... again, MN brings tears to my eyes. You are amazing, all of you!

Lucyanna89 I wish you all the very best for xmas. I cant send you anything but that because my kids are 24 and 16. I just have to say to all you others what fantastic xmas spirit it brought tears to my eyes.
Happy xmas and a fantastic new year everonexxx

Have you tried joining Freecycle? I know I see a lot of people offering useful things for new babies on the one I am a member of.

Just wanted to say this in MN at its very best. I've gotten all teary reading this thread.

What an absolutely lovely thread. I have nothing babywise to offer - though I send my thoughts and good wishes - as I don't have any children of my own yet, but this thread really has made remember how kind people can be.

I know how you are feeling, we are quite broke at the moment and my dh is out at a friend's party with a six-pack. TBH I'm not bothered about it, but that may just be my current mood. And I'm not pg; if I was I think I'd probably want to kill him.

I so wish that I wasn't a continent away, DD is eight and I've never gotten rid of anything "just in case". I would love to pass it all on to you if I could.

A nest of vipers, indeed!

YANBU
Sorry I don't have anything to offer but..
What ever the OH spends you take the same amount for yourself...(even put it aside...just so you have it...and you won't feel so hard done by...it is for your own sanity...)

And have a frugal christmas...I've had them in the past and they are just as much (if not more) fun as when you spend a fortune...

With such a little one he won't know or care if you have turkey or a roast chicken...so don't worry too much about Christmas food - most people get pressured into buying too much anyway and it ends up in the bin...

You say you need £60 for presents...who for? Can't they let you off this year? ...or could you give a free present - eg your time helping out etc?

Finally for baby stuff ask on freecycle/freegle - people are always offering baby stuff...that's where mine went...

And do you really need a monitor? For DD1 I used mine all the time, for DD2 (and it was a much more expensive one - lost the first one ) I found that actually I very rarely used it...

I know feeding bras can work out v. expensive ...
I got one from Tescos ( 2 yrs ago?) for £5 -couldn't believe it was so cheap (or that they did them..!)
and you can make your own from a standard bra...got instructions off the internet and I did this cos I objected to paying through the nose for them ...you just cut the straps, sew on skirt hooks/hook and eye things (or even the clasps off a worn out feeding bra) and a piece of elastic from the cut strap to the bit bit that goes round your back (so the strap doesn't disappear down your back when you unhook the cup) Cheap cotton sports bras are ideal...

Hopefully things will pick up - and next year you won't have to worry so much...

Lucyanna, hope you are okay today and that the little one hasn't made her appearance just yet :-)

Just wanted to say I went into my local Poundland today and they had loads of bottles, bibs and lots of other baby essentials, all for a pound each or pound per pack. Might be worth a look.

Also, not sure if you have nappies for her yet, but Tesco ones are excellent, I think their newborn packs are less than £2 per pack. Tesco value wipes are fine too.

Hope this helps

xx

Has anyone got lucyanna89 email address? If so, can someone email me on jopowell01 at googlemail dot com

Have a few things which she can have for her baby.

Thanks

opps, wrong email address. it is jo.powell01 at googlemail dot com.

Hi. I exchanged mails with Lucyanna, I'll send on your addresses on in case she hasn't seen them on here.

That's kind of you, SleighBelle

I'm off to the post office first thing in the morning so am happy to post the nursing bras to her if she'd like them (email addy is [email protected])

Has anybody heard anything from Lucyanna? I'm happy to send the nightdress if it's any use, although obviously won't be until after Christmas now.

LeQueen you threw maternity clothes in the bin? Don't you have Fara Kids charity shops or freecycle round your way? They would be snapped up.