To be cross with DS's school re allergies

[MarioandLuigi]

Yesterday DS came home from school very upset. They had had the Christmas Party and everyone (including ds) had taken food in.

However the deputy head had told DS that he culdnt have any of the food as he had a nut allergy, not even the fruit or veg that some parents had sent in, incase he had an allergic reaction. Also, when they played party games, and DS's team won, they were given a mini chocolate bar as a prize, but DS wasnt allowed one of those either. He said the party was ruined. Last year it was all okay and he ate all the food he wanted.

I am not angry at the fact they are cautios about his allergy, infact I am pleased. However why didnt they ask me to bring food in for DS, rather than give me a generic list of 'please bring this'. Then DS would have been able to join in with the party rather than sitting on the side for half of it while everyone else tucked it.

Totally agree, and that's as a teacher who has had numerous nut allergic children in class.
The food thing was a knee jerk reaction because they didn't think or plan ahead for your child.
He could have brought his own party bits and bobs if there'd been a discussion.
I always have suitable chocolates in class for specific cases, eg when the others hand out birthday sweets. Write a polite but clear letter so they think ahead next time!

Not at all U. Your son is aware of what he can eat and can't eat I imagine. Poor chap, he must have felt really left out and no fruit FFS.

yanbu
My ds is nut allegic as well , he would have been so upset by this .
I usually check out the food beforehand and let ds and the teacehr know what he can and cannot eat. Ridiculously over cautious especially about the fruit fgs.
I am for you

yanbu!! I have twins with nut and peanut allergy and they are in reception. They can eat foods that may contain traces of nuts and I have told their teachers this. They ate everything available at their xmas party. A few weeks ago one of their teachers wouldn't let DS3 have a chocolate biscuit they were giving out in case it had nuts in (it didn't)

He was a bit upset so I just wrote a little note to reitterate. He has now forgotten that.

I would be fuming about him not eating at the party. OUr letter said if your child has lots of allergies, you may want to provide food for them, but if it was just one or 2 they would check what they ate.

And these are reception children who although know not to eat an actual nut, can't read the ingredients!

Sorry but I think that both sides could hve done more (and I say this as both a Mum of a child with a nut allergy, and as a teacher).

If the type of food that your son cannot eat is on his care plan, then that should have been followed e.g. fruit = fine. Also. I would have expected the teacher to have approached you before the party to check if there was any of the food that you'd want him to avoid, and to ask if you wanted to send in anything for him to be kept aside.

As a Mum, I would have approached the teacher, checked if it would be better to send in something separately, particularly when the generic letter came home, or reminded the school that your ds was okay with all the party food.

As you say, it's better that they were cautious, but maybe a quick phone call during the party would've been better than upsetting your son.

I would have sent in food anyway for him. You don't need to be asked imo. Then you're sure there's always stuff for him to eat even if the teachers are a bit over cautious.

The children I have taught with severe nut allergies have not been allowed to eat things which may have traces of nuts. If they could, they would not be allergic. Therefore you have to be extremely careful. An overreaction not allowing fruit and veg but I would have sent in foods your DC was allowed with a note.

Presumably he's able to eat the food the OP sent in for the party? How odd he wasn't allowed to. YANBU.

I did send him with grapes, homemade flapjack, carrot sticks and cucumber sticks, all thing he could have eaten even if he couldnt eat anything else, but because the teachers took them in at the beginning of the day and everything was served together he wasnt allowed anything.

I did think that maybe DS had got the wrong end of the stick, but I spoke to his TA this morning who confirmed it was true, and admitted that it hadnt been very well thought out. She also said that DS was crying, which made me

That's awful! Whenever there's food involved at school (DS can't have milk/eggs/nuts) I usually find out well in advance, as the teacher/HT make an effort to pick my brains on finding suitable food/substitutes. They would NEVER leave him with nothing! Last year for Comic Relief I found out the HT had stayed up half the night before making safe biscuits/cakes, I nearly cried!

Never mind, give him a huge hug and tell him that it's not his fault that people forget his allergies. He IS special, but in a good way.

Your poor DS. I would try and put lots in place to be sure this sort of situation doesn't arise again. Maybe request a meeting with the head for the start of next term and go through his care plan and exact details of his allergies. Have the staff had recent training in allergies/anaphylaxis and epipens etc? You could ring your school nurse and ask for her help and input.

I would also request that the class teacher makes a point of informing you when food will be served like this so that you can send DS with separate food if needed.

In terms of his confidence and dealing with allergies in public etc, Asthma UK runs holidays & family weekends for kids with allergies that can make a massive difference to their self esteem here.

Sorry to hijack the thread, but wanted to correct Oooohwhatafuss' post. Nut allergic people who eat trace nut foods CAN be allergic to nuts.
Trace nut foods do not necessarily have nuts in them at all....(not even traces) companies say this to cover themselves. Therefore a packet of biscuits might have been prepared in a factory that has previously had nuts used int he same factory but it WILL have been cleaned and may have no nut traces in at all. So in that case a child with severe allergies could eat the biscuits and be just fine.
A school would be right to not allow a child to eat other peoples' prepared fruits and veg that are cut up because no one knows if they will have trace nuts....ie did the chopping board used to chop the veg/fruit have peanuts on it previously? or the person chopping the stuff could have just eaten nuts and not washed hands.
I do think the school should have dealt with it in a better way. But it is false security to believe that the fruit and veg that is chopped is safe...and the school at least were protecting the child, even though it was emotionally upsetting for the child.