to ask DH not to help SIL move?

[DisElfchanted3]

MIL has asked him to go with her tomorrow (an hours drive there, an hour back) to help his sister move house)

Normally I wouldn't bother but in the last few days it was DSs birthday, SIL didn't send him a card or even spend 2 mins to call him, hes only 5!

It was her other nephews bithday yesterday, nothing again.

So she can't spend literally 2 mins calling a 5 year old to say 'Happy Birthday' but DH is supposed to go to her and spend all day helping her out?? We had already planned to go shopping and its DSs Xmas party at school so its a bad day anyway but this is a long history of things like this.

Nev er any cards or pressies for the kids but when its HER birthday MIL is calling DH and asking if he has sent her a card!! SHes 27 BTW!!

We have moved several times and she has never lifted a finger for us, not just during moves, but generally, ever... nothing. But DH is always expected to help her out.

So AIBU?

YANBU SIL is just like that here as well.

Don'tGetMeStartedTiggaxx

Nope YANBU. Why should she have help if she never does anything. Stuff like this really pisses me off when it is all one way. I am all for helping people but people like your SIL take the piss.

You already have plans so you have a perfect excuse. My MIL also reminds my DH about birthdays and stuff, also phones him to remind him about her birthday and mothers day. I always feel like shes saying (which she is) "don't forget to get me a present".

YANBU but it's probably your MIL who really needs the help.

Yanbu. Why is your mil running around after a 27 year old anyway? What does dh say when you remind him about sil's lack of interest in his family? She sounds very spoilt.

MIL is only 44 and SIL has a DH. She not elderly

its not just this year, its every year, with all the kids.

I'm not feeling guilty at all, you can't just take and never give.

BTW he spent 2 days last week helping my sister move, but my sisters a darling and always helps us out/ visits / calls, so he was happy to help her out.

Her again? Oh, dear. From this and one of your earlier threads, it does sounds as though the MIL is enabling her daughter to live as stress-free a life as possible. A shame the 27-year-old little girl can't be bothered to oil the wheels herself as the rest of us have to do!

I hope you won't take this the wrong way, as it seems you are very sensitive about her ignoring our children and their birthdays, but it is probably more relevant that "We have moved several times and she has never lifted a finger for us, not just during moves, but generally, ever... nothing. But DH is always expected to help her out."

Crap aunts are not as culpable as crap siblings, and if you are going to make a stand on this in the family, that is probably the strongest ground.

As for this occasion, your pre-existing plans should get you out quite neatly (she ought to have planned a bit further ahead, innit?!), and you can decide whether to have a go on this occasion, or wait till the next time.