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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a littled peeved that all I got from my secret santa was...

112 replies

PurpleCrazyHorse · 16/12/2009 23:19

... a bottle of M&S shower gel? The limit was £5, but surely even M&S shower gel doesn't cost that much. We all opened them over dinner tonight and I was a bit embarrassed just unwrapping that and my first thought was where's the other half?

I nearly cried on the way home (I am post pregnancy though and had a really bad day anyway).

Eek... now I sound really ungrateful.

OP posts:
mustrunmore · 18/12/2009 11:47

Lol at the lightbulb!

Aside from thre point in question, this whole yhred is maing me very sad/nostalgic for the days of work and secret santa. Yeas, I know I get all sorts of lovely homemade crap from the kids, but I do miss getting a real present to open!

indieangel · 18/12/2009 12:07

I hate secret santa. I got a really cheap bottle of white wine and some chocolate money for the kids and my present which I thought was lovely was derided.

ninedragons · 18/12/2009 12:08

Oh dear. It's my first Christmas at a new company and I hope my colleagues are not of the dildo/calorie counter/cat food persuasion. I didn't realise some people took it as a joke. I have been stalking my recipient to check out her clothes and jewellery and bought her a chunky wooden necklace I hope she'll like very much.

jellybeans · 18/12/2009 12:16

YABU just be grateful could have been worse.

VirginPeachyMotherOfSpod · 18/12/2009 12:26

Years ago (many) whenmy ssiter was the only veggie in her class she opened her Secret santa to find a bag of stew veg . She's not yet got over it (and she's 31 now!)

Presumably they received a gift for a fiver so they shoudl ahve spent it too- it's the deal.Otherwise you find a way of stepping aside.It'squite posible to make a cheaper one seem nicer anyway- bake a few biccys ro whatever.

We've got asecret sanata tomorrow, no idea what the tradition is as it's anew group I ahven't met yet and Dh hs only met once. normally would play 'dodgy'gift' style (budget is only a quid) and fill a jar with Christmas esssentials (paracetamol, condom, party blower etc) but shall be good and observant for next year (I'm filing a pretty tub with home amde gingerbread- tub cost over £1 anyway- dh is buying one of the local bakery's massive bright blue iced cupcakes and giving that- none of the toehrs live near so won't know the bakery and admired their- erm- 'ADHD magnets' as we call them)

YANBU

IsItMeOrSanta · 18/12/2009 13:19

YANBU to be a bit disappointed. Either they are very tight and thoughtless, or could be very hard up this year, so this was genuinely all they could afford. But I agree with others that something home-made (and therefore more difficult to price) would have been more thoughtful.

Out of interest, what did you buy? That way we can properly decide how hard done to you were .

I did my first SS this year, and honestly I'm not sure I "get" it.

MN Secret Santa, on the other hand, is totally different imo .

TubbyDuffs · 18/12/2009 13:24

YABU.

Not everyone can make a homemade gift. Pretty sure if I tried to make something the recipient would be begging for me to swap it for shower gel!

5Foot5 · 18/12/2009 13:32

I think the secret santa idea is pretty cringey really.

I have only been in one once- a few years ago. Everyone was expected to spend about a fiver and it was the "lucky dip" sort rather than buying for a specific person. As most of the people I worked with were men that made it harder somehow.

The worst bit though was that when it came to the Christmas lunch one of the oldest blokes dressed up in a Santa outfit so he could give the presents out. He called your name and then you had to go sit on his knee and tell him whether you thought you had been good or naughty that year and then he gave you the present.

We didn't have secret santa the following year....

StarExpat · 18/12/2009 13:35

Why do people think they are "hard done by" for getting a present they don't consider to be "a lot" or "worthy" or "meeting expectations"??
A gift is a gift. Something to be appreciated. It doesn't matter what it is. I think really hard about what to make/buy people for xmas, and it sounds like you must do the same. But I would never hold anyone else to any sort of expectation. They may very well have considered several gifts before choosing that one, or maybe they had that in their mind and thought it would be appreciated.
We live in such a selfish, greedy culture! This makes my blood boil, hearing people complain about gifts - at any time of year.

You should be appreciative even if you're given a plastic button that matches nothing that you own!

lindy100 · 18/12/2009 13:38

I got a bag of carrots...that were past their sell-by date!

StarExpat · 18/12/2009 13:39

for the record, when I was pg I cried about loads of stuff... but would never have complained about a gift or felt hard done by about anything given to me for any reason. A gift is a nice gesture, regardless of what it is. A gift should never be expected nor should people have expectations about the quality/standard/type of gift.
I appreciate that you are pg and easily emotional as I've been there, but this is a bit different imho...

Honeymoonmummy · 18/12/2009 22:23

You go Star! [waves]

Julezboo · 18/12/2009 23:09

Count yourself Lucky. DH organised a Secret Santa in his work place - he got the girl who always sings so he got her a microphone soap and xfactor mug.

DH got a........Pasty

gotogirl · 18/12/2009 23:21

I think Christmas is not about monetary value. Look, perhaps the person who bought for you was hard up and couldn't stretch to more than a couple of quid. I won't say YABU cos it's Xmas but try to focus on the positives: you had a lovely evening out with colleagues / friends and got a little thing to unwrap. Tbh, secret Santa with limit of a fiver is never going to make your Xmas!
Merry Christmas

muminthemiddle · 18/12/2009 23:21

YANBU m&s is fine I love their cocunut shower gel, but you should have been bought a bigger present ie one that cost £5 and not £1.

I was quite lucky with mine especially after seeing what some of my work colleagues received.
I too put a lot of thought into buying a special gift for the person I had chosen rather than what I see as a cop out with smellies/chocs.

At least you can use the shower gel though.

VirginPeachyMotherOfSpod · 19/12/2009 09:26

I think the Christmas is about the thought is absolutely true with almost everything but not Secret santa- Secret Sanata is a dressed up gift exchange, it's got very little todo with thought (would you normally buy for the person?) and the amount is pretty much enforceable.

worleywinterwonderland · 19/12/2009 09:37

i give up doing my works secret santa, i got forgot about and then recieved it a week later, so dont know if who ever it was just didnt bother or they forgot or someone else flt bad and did afterwards! thats horrible when your all sitting there and everyone has theirs but you!

StrictlyBoogying · 19/12/2009 09:44

Pmsl at the bin bags!
I went to school in the US when I was 12 and it's the only time I've ever done SS. I was the only person who got nothing! I got the class bully. The girl I got loved her Patrick Swayze calendar though!
I think we expect others to put as much thought, effort and expense into buying gifts as we do. And why shouldn't we? SS is pointless unless you make it fun or thoughtful. YANBU - that is a crap gift.

NotTheVirginMaryOhNo · 19/12/2009 09:46

Am glad I don't have to go through that this year (unemployed).

I have bad psoriasis in my hair, and someone obviously thought it would be funny to buy me a clothes brush, presumably to sweep away the flakes of skin which tend to collect on my shoulder . It really hurt. It was typical of that place, so bitchy if you weren't part of the clique (which I wasn't)

OhYouMerryMerryKitten · 19/12/2009 09:49

That is really horrible NTVMON
I was about to post how I'd love to be in a secret santa thing, but I've changed my mind now!

VirginPeachyMotherOfSpod · 19/12/2009 10:58

OMFG NotThe, whata nasty place

for you

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/12/2009 13:15

its much better to have a ss and put pressies in box and pick one out, rather than buy for the individual person

ss is meant to be fun, i have had penis pasta, photo album,bodys shop stuff, socks, slippers

and all for under £5

but yanbu if the pressie is not to the full value, ie £1 asda value shower

M&S is nice stuff and prob did cost £3/4

NotTheVirginMaryOhNo · 19/12/2009 13:17

I'm sure most Secret Santas are OK OhYouMerryMerryKitten, don't let my experience put you off. They may even have thought they were doing me a favour !

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 19/12/2009 13:27

quite like this thread. I wouldn't bother me at all, I don't even want £5's worth of crap, I'll just say 'oh thank you' and add it as an extra to a present for my mum or something.

I've got a little pallet of eyeshadows from next which maybe doesn't look £5 but it is so they better not whinge. I might leave the price on

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 19/12/2009 13:32

NTVMON- that is bloody disgraceful. How did you react in front of them? Hope they got zero satisfaction. Small minded, stupid people, says more about them than you, my love!

We don't know who we're buying for. I asked and got told 'female, don't ask any more questions'