Tell me whether this is rude/ inconsiderate or not.

[LetThemEatCake]

Scenario: mum of 3, including one newborn (less than 3 months) gets asked to host an Xmas do because she has the largest house.

It's agreed that all will bring something to lessen work for said hostess and a course is assigned to each guest/ household - including, of course, the hostess

Said hostess has certain dietary requirements - let's say she's vegetarian, for instance

The dessert-bringing guest produces something that the hostess will not be able to eat and makes a point of saying "well, you won't be able to eat it."

Should the dessert-bringing guest, in the knowledge of the hostess's dietary limitations, have ensured that her contribution was appropriate for all, or not?

I'm sure her mean spirit was noted by everyone there.

Vegitarianism is just a fad that allows practitioners to indulge their superiority complex. It is a lifestyle choice - do not pander to it.

That may be true Redbin, but this was nowt to do with vegetarianism. OP is wheat intolerant. Do keep up dear.

OP, yanbu. But I can't bleddy stand cheesecake. You should keep a cupboard full of chocolate for just such occasions.

YANBU - she could have brought two desserts - even if it was a small , dare say shop brought one for you. I thinnk the comment made when unveling the dessert was especailly out of order.

Wheat intolernece - health issue
Vegetarin- lifestyle ~(MIL is one but choses to eat chicken at her DD house - as 'she made an effort' so when she came round last time I cooked a beef roast with all the trimmings , FIL never gets this , and a veggie dish from waitrose to subsititue her beef.

If there was no history then I'd just assume that she was one of these people who aren't really "foodies" and don;t actually know much about food...and therefore wouldn;t have a clue where to start with something like wheat intolerance..

My MIL is like this - no-one in our family has any food intolerances but it would simply melt her brain to have to deal with something that far out of her experience and she would just bring "whatever" she would have bought anyway....

When my DH and I were on various diets she simply couldn't cope with it - we cut out carbs for a while (our choice, not a health issue) but she simly could not understand why we couldnl;t have a biscuit with a cup of tea.

However, if your SIL is a relatively educated person with a bit of a clue, and your wheat intolerance is well known, and she has "form" in this area, then she is just being a cow or being very very lazy rather than being inadequete.

Sounds like she does not believe that you are really wheat intolerant and will not 'pander' to you.

Have you Had Words about your intolerance previously?

What a bitch sounds like she did it on purpose how rude.

Considering you have 3 young children and it was requested that it was at your house, YANBU. If this was me I probably would have been pissed off.

Having said that, we are off to my ILs this weekend for xmas on Sunday. My DHs uncle is a cealiac (sp?) and we are all taking something for a buffet. I am a slightly fussy eater and every time we go there for food (after them inviting us) he always cooks indian which I don't like. My meal has been a dry jacket potato with a chicken leg, and before that a dry jacket potato with half a plate or plain white rice?! (WTF) I have had to sit there with this while the rest of the table look at me, going on about how nice the other food is. This year we all have to bring something and I am specifically taking something that I will eat for once, as I am fed up of being made to feel like some social leper who doesn't eat anything.

I know this isn't quite the same as your situation, but I just wanted to share. Actually maybe I should start my own AIBU thread about it, lol.

I think it's either rude or plain lazy!

If it had been me, I'd have taken two puddings. Or one everyone could eat.

Did make me think of this though.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdcrEo1eCBY

Might the person who brought something you couldn't eat not have thought that, since you don't eat certain things, they'd provide something others would like and save you having to buy/cook something you're not happy eating?

A friend of mine can't eat gluten/caesin - she has sometimes asked me if I could please bring some decent bread for everyone, because she's not up to buying the stuff these days.

Clarification - was not a big party, just a family get-together. In-laws, so 13 of us in total. 4 households - us to do main, MiL to do a starter, SiL 1 (veggie) to do salads and SiL2 to do dessert.

Have been with my dh 10 years so my dietary stuff is no new news!! And everyone knows that I always provide meat, bread etc despite not eating it myself.

She's an odd mix of malicious and mischievous - she loves seeing if she can get a reaction - like my FiL (her stepfather) is an utter pain in the arse about "his chair" but too polite/ stitched up to say "hey, get out of my chair" - He'll sort of flap around looking distressed saying "Now, where shall I sit" - so she'll sit in it deliberately and look all innocent and unassuming, but throwing smirky looks at everyone as he gets more flappy, iyswim.....

Twas rude. Should cater for all needs. Tis manners.

FFS How difficult is it to make a vegetarian DESSERT ! Completely rude and thoughtless IMO.