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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas Giving

21 replies

Bumblelion · 16/12/2009 16:45

Tell me if I am being unreasonable ... I probably am.

Long story short - the company I work for supports a charity called Better Bankside (work near London Bridge). Better Bankside (1) we have a box in reception and all staff are asked to donate gifts (for needy children, families, mostly homeless people) - there is a general list of things to be donated - mostly for men (homeless) - soap, deodorant, socks, gloves, scarves, etc. The box is nearly always full (you can buy a lot of things in the pound shop which will help these people at a dreadful (for them) time of year.

We also support a school whereby we are given the names of 30 children in 7 different classes (ages ranging from 7 to 11) and my company has offered to spend £10 per child. We then get a wish list from each child of what they would like for Christmas - bearing in mind some of these children are in care, in 'not so good' family homes and it is lovely going out, buying their 'wish' gift, wrapping it and then taking it to the school (on Friday).

Now, most of these children, all they want is a football (£9), pyjamas , underwear ;( ... but one child wanted a memory stick for his laptop. ... now don't get me wrong, but these underpriviliged children who need pyjamas, etc. ... why on earth would a child who goes without and has gone without in the past would need a memory stick for his laptop (not even all my children have a laptop).

To say I was a bit astonished is to say the lesat.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bumblelion · 16/12/2009 16:47

... I will answer my post in reading it back and maybe I have the answer ... perhaps he has the laptop because his parents cannot afford to give him love, attention, etc. and instead have given him the lap top to make up for it ?

OP posts:
Stigaloid · 16/12/2009 16:49

Maybe it is a shared laptop and he wants a memory stick so he has a place to keep something of his own?

Stigaloid · 16/12/2009 16:49

Maybe he asked Santa for a laptop and is hoping he will come through?

StayingSantasGirl · 16/12/2009 16:50

Or maybe the laptop is provided by the school/local education authority because he has a specific educational need.

It sounds as if your firm does some lovely things, Bumblelion.

googietheegg · 16/12/2009 16:51

YABU perhaps he doesn't want reminding of how 'disadvantaged' he is by asking for pyjamas and just wants something 'normal', this is his chance to get something and it's about giving a little bit of pleasure, surely, rather than judging how needy he is?

Original poster
Bumblelion · 16/12/2009 16:51

Possibly. Good thinking - Christmas giving, goodwill, and all that - what the company is doing is fantastic (although I would like my 20% pay decrease reinstated ) but I just wondered why a young boy would want a memory stick for 'his' laptop. Perhaps I am too analystic.

Although I did spend over 1 hour creating labels (boss bought presents, sellotape, wrapping paper, etc.) but no tags! ... but they do look good.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bumblelion · 16/12/2009 16:53

I was going to go and give out the gifts on Friday but my youngest DD has 'special' needs although they are not that special.

My company is doing a lovely gesture (and actually I would rather they do this than give me my 20% back) - it takes me back to how a Christmas should be - it is about giving to those who need and not those who want!

OP posts:
poshsinglemum · 16/12/2009 16:53

If he wants a memory stick he is obviously bright and/or computer literate. He may want to better himself through education so YABU!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 16/12/2009 16:54

Perhaps it's a handed-down laptop?

wanttodomyjob · 16/12/2009 16:59

Maybe he wants a memory stick so much he is willing to still go without the pyjamas and underwear type things

Oh god threads like this (anything like this!) makes me feel all tearful.

Its a lovely thing you and your company are doing....

hollyroger · 16/12/2009 16:59

Maybe he had the lap top from 'better' times. Maybe he was given the laptop by another charity to jhelp with school work , maybe because he is severely dyslexic, cannot write and needed it for 2ndary school?

Vry easy to judge on a tiny bit of onformation....

sb6699 · 16/12/2009 17:01

My DS has free access to computers at his school. Any child can use them but they need a memory stick to save their work.

Maybe his family arent disadvantaged because they are poor but he is classed as "in need" for some other reason.

nickelbabyjesus · 16/12/2009 17:03

i would be inclined to think it was either from local authority for SEN, or he means one that he has access to at school and wants a stick to store his own stuff so he can save it.

SE13Mummy · 16/12/2009 17:12

I've encouraged many a child in my class to bring in a memory stick for use on the school laptops, I've even been known to buy them in bulk on Amazon so the children can buy them cheaply from me. The school I'm at is over-flowing with children in poor housing in which the only bedroom is given over to the children and the parents sleep on the sofa. Few have a computer at home and only one or two in the class have access to the internet so I allocate children a specific laptop for the year e.g. laptop number 7 so they take responsibility for that one, make sure it is plugged in to charge up etc.

Perhaps something similar happens at the school your company are supporting?

MummyDragon · 17/12/2009 11:10

It's lovely that your company and school do these things, I'm welling up ...

Sorry, not helpful but had to say something!

dinoroar · 17/12/2009 11:22

It does appear odd on the face of it, but there could be a reasonable explaination, like some the ones other posters have suggested. You can get memory sticks within the budget, so personally, I'd get it and hope that it brings some happiness to the child. It is true that not everything meant for underpriviledged children goes to underprivledged children - some does occasionally go to children that don't need it - but it is hard to say on a case by case basis so I would just get the memory stick.

Original poster
Bumblelion · 17/12/2009 12:18

Am now having great fun wrapping 30 presents for the children - I enjoy wrapping presents - memory stick, fine; books - fine, pyjamas, etc. - fine. How on earth do you wrap a football (and I have got 3 of them to do)?

OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 17/12/2009 12:23

Big sheet of paper, then gather it up at the top so that it looks like a giant bath bomb - tie with ribbon.

Great to hear that your company are doing this. Mine is supporting a very little known charity supporting families affected by a genetic condition this year, and so all money that would have been spent on cards, a raffle of all gifts given by suppliers etc is going to them, as well as fundraising the rest of the year

catkinq · 17/12/2009 13:25

prehaps he hasn't got a laptop but just imagines that he has.
Catkinq

katkit · 17/12/2009 13:48

Maybe he doesn't have a computer and so needs the memory stick for using on other people's/ at the library?

LaurieFairyonthetreeeatscake · 17/12/2009 14:04

Tis not remotely odd. It could be:

  1. he doesn't have a laptop but he needs a stick for school and his parents/carers cant afford to buy him one.
  1. he has one like dd has (she's in care with us) but needs to be able to copy stuff from school to it.

Disadvantaged is sometimes nothing to do with consumer goods - yes dd has one but there is so much she doesn't have. Like a family who aren't useless.

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