my inlaws appear to forgotton the very existence of my children

[VicarInaTinselTuTu]

so aibu to cajole DH into phoning them this christmas even though they have nothing to do with us, have seemingly forgotten that we even have any children, get a blank - thats blank - xmas card from his mother and havnt had one from his father for donkeys....(they split some time ago) his father has a new family whom we have never met.

i just think he should phone them anyway and wish them a happy christmas. ive long since learnt to expect nothing from them, but i think it hurts my DH as he has sisters who his parents do bother with, alot, as in help them out with buying houses and take their kids on hols etc... ive no idea why they dont bother with DH or our kids, weve never fallen out as such, and it actually doesnt bother me at all. ive no parents or in laws and that means harmony at christmas time....its just us. bliss! ive never known any different tbh.

i think he should phone them though. they are not getting any younger and his father has already had cancer...

so should he phone them or just send a card? im not gonna nag. its up to him....but maybe a quick phone call wouldn't hurt? or am i being too compassionate unreasonable?

Good on you for
a) not being bothered

b) being thoughtful.

You sound fab.

if your dh does not want to bother, why don't you send cards from you and the dcs?

cards sent jasper. i do it every year.

i will totally leave it up to him. i just might mention it again then ive done my bit!

madamdeathstare - they will probably not really give a monkeys one way or the other, at least thats how its been in the past. think thats why he stopped bothering. his mum can be a funny bugger at the best of times so its really no skin off my nose and phone convos with his father are difficult as he is deaf as a post (and he once made a startlingly guache pass at me but thats another story and obviously didnt do much for their relationship, though in his fathers defence he was suffering depression at the time!)

ive always stayed out of it, i did once attempt to jolly things along by phoning them myself which went down like a lead balloon, so it would definitely be up to DH if he can be arsed. ive only mentioned it in passing and i just didnt think it could hurt too much - he hasnt much expectation of them either.

ah well...at least we sent SIGNED cards!

i should just say i think its a shame as i have no parents, so it would have been nice for the kids to have one set of GP...but they dont miss what theyve never had either...and i long ago realised you cant make someone be bothered, so yes i can honestly say it doesnt bother me or the kids at all.

i just think it would be a shame for DH to let things drift until they never speak again. which is how its going to be if no one intervenes...but i guess that is ultimately his decision.

i feel sorry for him too. when i suggest phoning them he tends to answer "why bother". and i know what he means. it is a shame, statistically how likely is it that we'd both have crap parents...(when DS had meningitis she wouldnt visit him in hospital in case she caught it...nuff said really)

never mind.

nothing is gonna put a dampener of my christmas!