Please give some advice!
My mother left my father 10 years ago.He's always been bitter.He took it out on me regularly occassionally violent and always mean and awful abusive swearing language towards me.
Both my mother and father met people and aged 17 I had nowhere to go so moved to London had crazy life and met the wrong type of people.Fast forward several years and I have settled down with fiance,18 month old son and baby no 2 on the way.I still make an effort with both parents.My partner says I'm too soft and forgiving and that he wouldn't bother with them.
I still call my father and he has never answered back to a txt message and 3 months will go by before he calls me.
He wants to visit soon for a weekend he expects me to say yes on the spot.I don't mind him coming but his awful girlfriend ruins it all.They've been together for around 8 years.She had 3 children from the age of 16 therefor never completed school she's always been on the dole her whole life.She smokes 60 cigerettes a day.She never cooks or cleans while my father is out working.
Her children are now 20,21 and 23 and are also all on the dole.Their girlfriends also live under my fathers roof free of charge.I see what they write on facebook about their lives they smoke weed everyday,get up after 3pm.My father pays the rent,food,everything.They even ran up a 500 pound phone bill ringing up 'adult' explicit phone numbers and stole his money to buy a puppy even though he's allergic to dogs.
I know this isn't my problem but it annoys me as I see my father 3 or 4 times a year and if I tell him any good news like when I got a new good job he'll call me a little show-off.He'll mention that I've got a tan and I'll say it's a spray tan tan then he'll call me a vain little cow but he bought his girlfriend a sunbed!
When he's in a good mood it's bearable and okay.He insists he brings his girlfriend evey time he visits me and my child.
She couldn't make it more clear that she doesn't want to be here.She scowls,doesn't speak.She texts her children the whole time and when she's not doing that she's sitting on my front door step chain smoking.My partner and I are on edge the whole time.Every time they have visited we plan to go to the forest or the coast the next day but conveniently she's always poorly on the day so it's a day in the flat so she can txt,smoke and drink coffee.We miss going to mass when they visit but they insist going to real ale pubs but we're not allowed to take our child in ale pubs(wldnt want to anyway).They wake up at midday whenever they stay aswell it ruins the day but it's very difficult to shout at your father and his partner to get of bed several hrs before!!
Also just heard that my father might change his mind about visiting as I've heard she has to be persuaded to come.
If I tell my father to come on his own he'd go absolutely mad at me.He goes angry at the smallest of things.My partner says he's never met anyone as angry in his life as my father.
Should I just grin and bear it and be welcoming like I always am?My partner and I always end up having a huge row when they leave as he goes out of his way and his weekend gets ruined.
Please help!!!