Right: My mother is driving me INSANE - should i get her another bloody cat or not??

[ijustwanttoaskaquestion]

Quick background - my mum felt sorry for some random old cat, its ownder was in hospital and her neighbour was feeding it, but my mum insisted that it wasnt being fed (it was - it was still alive after all) and that the poor thing was never indoors (i had two cats who only ever showed their faces at dinner time!) - so she catnapped it (seriously out of order ) but she meant well.

Anyway, fastforward another 6 months or so - the sodding cat went missing (ooh about a month ago now) - after some drama where my mum accused her neighbour of bumping off the cat she is still not "over" it. She rang me this am telling me she keeps crying over this sodding cat - one might argue, tis her own fault as it want her cat in the first place and its probably buggered off home to get away from her sodding dog and actually be allowed out to play!!!

So, i am annoyed, BUT my dad died four years ago and she's lonely. She has two other cats and a dog the size of a horse. One of the cat was mine which would never come in our house and it had an accident and lost a leg, so she took it - she just loves having something to look after iyswim. But now her lame duck is gone.

So - my mum is awkward, cantakerous, ungrateful and lovely and generous and would give me her last penny, and often has this year due to our money worries. But you can see my dillemma?? Do i contact the local cat sanctuary and get her another cat? Knowing that if i can persuade her to keep it (i will lie and tell her it would be put to sleep otherwise) she would actually give the cat a really good home. She does have a big dog mind, but he is cat friendly (hes not ate one yet.

Thing is, its a bit irresponsible to hoist an animal on someone if they know nothing about it, surprise factor or not, its more about if i ask her if she wants another cat she will say now - she has to be made to feel she is doing the animal a favour iyswim.
Will the sanctuary give her a cat without talking to her - i'm an ex vet nurse and when we got a rescue dog from battersea they fell overthemselves to give me a dog (even though it was a demon dog from hell, with more than a few issues [grin}) so that will have some sway mabye??

sorry, i mean if i ask her if she wants another cat she will say no

i think maybe she enjoyed feeling she was doing something for someone and maybe enjoyed feeling needed if she is lonely i would get her another cat could you go to a cat sanctuary and get a cat or look into your mum fostering some animals speak to her and ask if she'd like to help by fostering them and look into it if not get her another cat

do you ahve fairly good relationship with your mum she genuinely seems lonely and needs to be needed by the sound of it maybe try and get her into volunteering if she can manage it might be good for her

Tricky. Without being callous, is your mum going to live long enough for the cat not to be rehomed? If she isn't 96 already, I'd say go for it particularly with the number of animals being abandoned due to the recession.
OTOH, wouldn't the cat home have to do a home visit to assess her suitability for cat ownership? That may give the game away.

She is 74 kree, um her health is dodgy, but she could well live another 30 years.

Bubbla - I have an ok relationship with her, she is a very difficult woman though, always has been - its like treading on eggshells - you are absolutely right about her needing to be needed and i could never be seen to be "helping" her, although she will moan that no one does she wont accept help iyswim, so often have to pretend i need help etc just to get her oout. Volunteering would be great, but she IS so very difficult and falls out with people at the drop of a hat so i dont think it would work out- might see if she fancies doing some gardening for people in the summer, bu then she is tied up with her own garden etc. She is fairly fit for 74 and walks at least three miles a day with her dog.

Anyway, we are going xmas shopping today - that should be fun but at least she will forget about that fecking cat