To feel rejected by the self service checkout floozy?!

[SprocketAndTubbs]

I have recently opted to go all 'cutting edge' and use the self service checkouts at my local supermarket, but the 'voice' doesn't seem to like me at all - and it's giving me a complex!

For a start she's always shouting at me (I understand that she speaks loudly so that that hard of hearing customers can use her), then there's the 'please place the item in the bag', when I already have, so I remove the item and she doesn't like that and then she tells me to 'please wait for assistance', for no apparent reason, leaving all those queing behind me to think that I am incompetent at till operations, while I stand there looking lost and awkward until a real checkout assistant arrives.

Woe betide anybody who so much as accidently brushes up against the side of the till / breathes at the wrong time. This sets her off again!

Finally, a milli-second after I have paid, she shouts 'please take your items' i.e. 'We've got your money, so now f**k off before you have time to put your recipt in your purse!'

I have noticed, however, that she has quite a husky yet strict tone to her voice, which I'm sure she uses to lure the boys in.

YANBU I used one the other day at Sainsburys had quite a lot of stuff and was getting a bit flustered, the bitch just kept repeating "Please take your items" over and over as I tried to stuff my bags as quickly as I could.
In the end I got so pissed off I shouted "Yeah give me a chance sister!!!!"
lets just say I got a few odd looks.....

yanbu
I hate the line "there is something missing in the bagging area" when you don't put something in the bag the right way or you put something in the bag and then take it out because you realise you'd rather put it in a different bag....
should be renamed self serving checkout

I sais 'thanks' to the machine many times when they were first introduced I get really stressed with the self service, especially the sainsburys one which say 'please place your item in the bag' after every single item.. grrr..

lol at thanking the machine!

Our Tescos ones have been turned down somewhat, but the ASDA ones get very over excited and shouty and I get quite embarrassed that all those queing behind me can hear that the machine is not happy with me!!

Then when the human checkout assistant comes across, she resets the machine but never looks in my bags to see if I actually have smuggled an extra yoghurt (or fruitshoot - just kidding!) in - I must look very angelic / innocent!

It's that horible moment when the machine tells you you have to wait for assistance, but the assistant is busy at another one of the self service checkouts and you have to try and look busy russelling bags / items in your basket in a vain attempt to avoid the stares of all those customers who you're holding up in the que!

Glad I'm not on my own with this!

I won't use them any more. I realised that we were incompatible when, instead of absent-mindedly thanking the damn machine, as I have been known to do with cashpoints, she got stroppy with me and I told her to fuck off in front of a very amused bemused bunch of waiting customers!

I hate the blimming things! Only used the Asda ones and also hate it when it says 'unexpected item in the bagging area', if you are using your won bags. Thought i'd sussed it last time by selecting the 'have my own bags' opstion on the first screen, but it didn't. Was much worse!

In fact, working in a supermarket and then using these tills is NOT good, lol.

I often wonder what the 'voice' would look like if she was standing there herself - I imagine her to be middle class, mid forties, well dressed out of work, well kept four bed semi/detached house in a nice part of town near good schools, doesn't need to work as her husband is successful but does it for a bit of extra pocket money. I wonder if she would be a MNer??!!

Or if they have them installed in Waitrose, would she be more well to do than say a Lidl self service or the B&Q one?!

Sorry, all that is sooo stereo typical - have maybe thought about this a bit too much!

I hate the voices, like the self service checkouts though. I do keep finding myself looking for a mute button.

Sprocket > I want to hear one saying "Oi! Put the item in the like bagging area, innit!"

Imagine if she said out loud what item you had scanned -

BEEP "Tampax bumper pack" "please place your tampax in the bagging area"

BEEP "Fruit shoot - orange" "please place your fruit shoots in the bagging area"

BEEP "Anusol extra large pack" "please place your anusol in the bagging area"

Ours is a right stroppy mare as well. Woe betide if I want to buy my dozen cartons of milk, she wants me to take ALL of them out of the trolley and place them in the bagging area

I mute them. There is a mute option on the Tesco ones, just keep pressing the volume button until it mutes.

THEN you can get away with claiming you've used your own bags when you haven't, thus earning you extra Clubcard points.

I get annoyed because I always get a trolley as I have a baby and toddler but even if I only have a few items I'm not allowed to use it because I have a trolley!

DH used one yesterday. He had to wait for an actual checker because it said he had an age restricted sale.

He bought:

Chewing Gum
The Times
Bertoli Margarine.

We are still trying to figure out which thing has an age restriction.

Kaloki >> !

Giraffes >> You have reminded me of an incident a couple of weeks ago when I was waiting to use the self service and the poor lady in front of me was trying to scan a pregnancy test. It wouldn't go through and then needed the security tag removed from it. This caused so much havoc.

We live in a smallish town (the type where everybody knows everybody else's inside leg measurements). The poor lady was probably trying to be discrete by scanning it through herself, but by the end of the transaction there wasn't a single person in the vacinity who didn't know what she was buying

OhChristmasTEEOhChristmas... - the age restricted item was possibly The Times if it had a free DVD or something in it?