in that I would like to finish work 30 mins earlier once my dd goes to secondary school so that she isn't on her own for long after school

[cheltenhamgal]

I was having an informal chat with my boss about hours etc and said that I would quite like to finish at 1600 in the future instead of 1630 so that my dd is not on her own after school for more than 30mins.........he basically poo pooed the idea and said that when he was younger at age 5 he was walking home on his own and letting himself in the house !!!
He is 50+ and has no children, when I was younger I did walk home from primary school on my own but I had 3 brothers and sisters with me so was totally different. I would be able to start work earlier once she is at secondary school so he wouldn't lose out on the amount of work I would be doing.
I did say which would he rather that I finish at 1600 and be happy in my work or at 1630 and stressing when she doesn't call on time to tell me that she has got home ok.
Am I being unreasonable to want this or an over-protective mum. I haven't got any relatives in the area I can rely on so this is the only way I can see that I would not worry.
Is there a law that stipulates what age a child can be left on their own and for how long ?

Why don't you consider making a flexible working application? That way your boss will have to formally consider it and come up with a business case on why it wouldn't work. From what you say he would possibly struggle to do that.

Foster DD has to go to a childminder after school (year 7) as Social Services say she is not allowed to be in the house on her own.

Leave work at 4, you are fecked if anything happens to her.

Foster DD has to go to a childminder after school (year 7) as Social Services say she is not allowed to be in the house on her own.

Leave work at 4, you are fecked if anything happens to her.

laurie that may simply apply to that child as she is fostered. There is no law about children and ages- I know as i made enquiries ages back after I was worried about a neighbour's son who was left alone for days when they went away.

OP- I think you will find your DD is horrified that her mum would want to meet her at the bus stop. Children that age want to be independent.

Far better to teach her about safety, self-defence etc etc.

I know how you feel and I planned/chose my work around my Dcs working only mornings until they were very old. BUT I still think this is more about you and your guilt rather than about your DD and her safety.

Yes it is because she's fostered and I know there's no legal requirement, the problem is if something goes wrong the parent or carer is held responsible.

well yes- as I said in my 1st post you can be charged with neglect but they would have to prove the child was at risk from your actions and tbh I don't think a 11/12 yr old being left for an hour is at a huge risk.

you don't and I agree with you purple but social services view this differently.

They have also prohibited her from going to sleepovers at other peoples houses until she is 17.

We live in a world of caution at the moment so I think saying that they will take a very dim view if anything happened is a valid point.

frankly it was the daftest thing I've ever heard, them saying it was too 'risky' - I did a lot of ing

I don't think YABU. My mum got home a couple of hours after me when I was in secondary school and I was fine and didn't mind, but looking back I think I would have benefitted from having her there more. I would probably have got on better with my homework, maybe chatted to her more about things at school, nothing major but your dd might appreciate your company as she settles in to secondary school.

So lots of people here, and your boss, have said your dd will be fine on her own and they are right. But it seems like a pretty minor adjustment for your employer to make so it's perfectly reasonable for you to ask. He doesn't have to agree with your reasons.

i was put in a similar position when i recently started my new job this summer. i had wrongly assumed that being part time meant i'd be able to get home in time to collect my son, but i was needed in the office until 5
my DS started secondary sch in sept.
for the first few weeks he went to friends and family after school, but none of the situations worked for him.
i spoke to my manager at great length about the situation, and she suggested that if he was happy with the idea he would have a key and go home by bus. DS jumped at the chance! we live quite far from his primary sch so he had always been driven to and from sch.
it was a really big step for us both, and it has worked out really well
DS said he feels trusted, and 'really grown up'. he has a key, his mobile, and i have stuck a phone list on the wall of people to contact if he needs to (my mobile, work number, family, friends, neighbours).
i call him when he gets in, and am always sooo relieved to know he's home!
i know it isn't the ideal situation, but it is a solution with which DS is happy. he gets to relax after school, which he couldn't do going to people's houses.
btw - my manager is a manager for children's services, she deals with child protection issues every day, and saw this as an acceptable solution.
good luck with whatever you decide to do
it's not easy being a working parent, single parent - any type of parent! we're too often damned if we do and damned if we don't, but i believe it is ok to ignore such judgements sometimes and do what is best for you and your DC

I think your feelings are perfectly normal, but most of the working Mums I know who were worried about this (myself included!) found within a couple of weeks we realised we had been slightly overprotective. To be honest, if you are happy DD is responsible enough to be at home on her own for 30 mins, then she will be absolutely fine for an hour.
What about negotiating an earlier finish just for the first couple of weeks when your DD starts?

I have spoken to my manager this morning and given him the idea of what would work for me come this September and he is going to think about it so fingers crossed. I did suggest maybe I only do it for a short period to start off with and review it on a regular basis. I wouldn't actually be working less hours just different hours.
Also in the school holidays she sometimes goes to my mums in Cheshire so I would be more than willing to do extra hours then if the business needs required it.