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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not really want to buy Christmas presents for people I've never met?

9 replies

dilemma456 · 13/12/2009 17:14

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
ThumbleBells · 13/12/2009 17:17

not really unreasonable, no - are they going to be buying you presents as well? Has your mum a general rule that anyone who comes to dinner has to bring presents for everyone else?

I'm not suggesting that you should only buy in the expectation of receiving - more that if they DID bring you a present, it might be a touch embarrassing not to have one to give to them in return.

Chocolates is a good idea - or biscuits.

bellavita · 13/12/2009 17:17

No you are not unreasonable. If it was christmas day you were seeing them and everyone was opening presents at the same time, then a token box of chocs would be lovely. But Boxing Day?

alicet · 13/12/2009 17:18

YANBU.

If they were coming for Christmas day I would understand and do as you are doing with the chocs.

However they won't even be there on Christmas day so I think if I were you I would tell your mum that as they aren't there on Christmas day and you have no idea who they are you are not going to embarrass them by getting a present for them when they clearly won't have got one for you!

whoopstheregoesmymerkin · 13/12/2009 17:21

YANBU and unless they were barking they wouldn't be expecting them

hatwoman · 13/12/2009 17:23

yanbu but in situations like this I would take something so that in the event they gave you something, or everyone else was opening things and they had nothing to open, you could give it to them. (and if not just keep it for yourself so as not to embarrass them. but - unless they too have been issued instructions (!) I wouldn;t think they'd be armed with gifts for everyone there. their hosts, yes, of course, but not all their hosts' friends and relatives.

alicet · 13/12/2009 17:33

Also if I was going to someones for Boxing Day I would take the host a present but not things for everyone there who I didn't know! That is madness!

So what if your mum is inviting 30 odd people (which my mums family do on Boxing Day for eg - appreciate there may be less in this instance) and they are only there as the parents of some of your parents friends - are they expected to buy presents for 30 people?

Ridiculous imho.

No harm in doing as others have suggested though and wrapping up a box of chocs and sticking them in your bag only to be brought out if John and Joan also come bearing gifts!

claudialyman · 13/12/2009 21:37

LoL whoopstheregoes sums it up succintly

WingedVictory · 14/12/2009 23:29

But if mum said to buy for John and Joan, surely she has told them the same thing! There does seem a real danger that she has done this. It seems extra effort for all, IMO, but you can always open it with a self-deprecating, "Mum said you were coming, so I...."

Tolalola · 15/12/2009 02:28

YANBU! Who expects Boxing Day presents? Are they Victorian servants??

I suppose if your mum has made a point of telling asking you to get them something, then you ought to, out of respect to her as hostess, but make sure it's something you like, so that you can take it home and enjot it when they don't give you anything.

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