To be upset that my parents haven't

[ceb80]

Bought DS a Christmas present?
He is 8.5 months so obviously will not a clue so am I just being silly?
They are going away for Christmas so came round for dinner the other night and she brought 2 presents from her cleaner ffs for DS and then said she hadn't bought DS anything in a kind of whoops I forgot way, no apology or what would he like or intimation that she would be getting him something.
Spoke to my SIL and she said my parents have been crap on the present front from day 1 getting their 3 year old dd some shoes that would fit an 8yr old and their 1yr old a crappy t shirt from the airport for a 4yr old!
I know it's not all about the presents but can't help feeling hurt.

I know he's only little and he won't notice but I still feel a little sorry for your DS.

My DC2 isn't even born yet - I'm due to have an ELCS next week - and yet I'm pretty sure both of our families have bought her Christmas presents!! I'm hoping they've not gone mad and am half expecting more of the usual new baby gifts that inevitably get bought but am still touched that they've bothered.

They just all love her and buying gifts is what you do for people you love at Christmas.

I hope your parents get their act together for next year....

YANBU!

Really and tuly there is no logical reason to give ANYONE a christmas present, especially as most are - however well meant - unwanted clutter - and given that hardly anyone goes to church anymore. But we still do it, becuase it is a lovely tradition, a way of showing someone that you care and have thought of them.

Just because a person - baby or otherwise - doesn't "know" what is happening around them is no reason to exclude them! As girlsyearapart said an xmas bib or little pair of xmas socks would have been more than adequate. I'mnot advocating spending mega £££!

yanbu at all and I know exactly how you feel. In my ds1's entire life (he is 2.2 years) my parents have spent less than £10 on him. Nothing for his birth, £1.50 on cars from asda for 1st birthday and £8 on some happyland people for 2nd birthday. (Oh actually, I forgot they got him a book for last Christmas, prob about £2).

Ds2 is now 5 months old and he didn't even get a card at his birth let alone a present.

I really don't get it at all! They aren't skint but my dad is a TOTAL skinflint. We get on fine so it's not like they don't like me or their grandkids. They don't see them much and aren't involved in looking after them or anything as they are quite old and not up for that. But yes, it still hurts a lot esp when last time I was over at theirs there was a thankyou card from my cousin for 'the cheque' they sent her for her baby who was born a month after DS2 (the one who didn't even get a birthday card).

It makes me so but I feel if I say anything they will accuse me of being materialistic. I don't care about how much / little someone spends but they just don't seem to bother.

Total contrast to the inlaws who adore and shower the DS's with gifts!

Just read my post back and I feel really

I have people saying to me 'awwww bet your kids will be spoiled rotten by granny and grandad at xmas'

Ahem

Personally I think YABalittleU

There's plenty of time for presents when they are older and able to appreciate them more. Just see it as a bit less "stuff" to have to find a home for.

yanbu.. I´ve been in the same boat for years now, it never got better. Only a little more time and my eldest will realise that though the kids are inundated with phone calls and presents from my side of the family, they never get anything from my dh´s side. It´s not malicious, they just don´t care enough to make a little effort. Not even the effort to visit : (

For me, it is the clear signal of our complete unimportance to the family that is upsetting. OP, you have time yet, the situation my well change for you!

dgs is coming up to 10mnths and we have bought an outfit from Monsoon,a wooden bus with people,a push along penguin,2 books[lift the flap]and a few stocking fillers.He
is the youngest of 9 dgc and I think it is awful for grandparents not to bother if they can afford it.

I can see both points of view (we've just been having this dilemma with DN). I can see why you want your DPs to show their love for their DG by buying a present. But on the other hand, I'm very aware that a baby isn't going to know that they've got a present, and frankly, not everyone wants more stuff arriving in their house, especially if they've got everything they need and they're tight on space. I think it's one of those times when logic doesn't tie up with emotion - it's not necessarily reasonable to be upset, but that doesn't stop you feeling that way.

YANBU

It doesn't have to be anything big or expensive, but the thought is important.

"then said she hadn't bought DS anything in a kind of whoops I forgot way"

This statement from OP suggests even the thought wasn't there.

YANBU. It's their grandchild's first Christmas ffs; of course they should be buying a present for him - that's what caring grandparents do. If they thought a present was a waste of money, they could start a savings account for him or something. There are many options. Simply not bothering isn't one of them!