To think that replying to a friend's email after 3 days is not especially rude?

[MerryXmasMrsHenry]

Why do people expect instant blimmin' replies all the time? Someone has got pissed off with me this week for not replying straight away (actually they were chasing after less than 1 day - do they think I do nothing with my time expect hang about on MN? (ahem)).

If you want to contact someone urgently, surely the wisest thing to do is to give them a call rather than sending stroppy emails?

Tempting to make you wait 3 days for a post! All depends what they were asking you.

Dunno.

I'll think about it and answer on Sunday.

Ho ho ho! I think people who work full-time assume everyone is constantly glued to their computers and so checking everything, all the time. Whereas I tend to deal with my emails in batches every few days (in between my important work on MN, of course).

I often leave emails for days and days. I triage them first, obviously. But if it's relatively trifling, it takes me a while to summons up the strength to reply.

would be utterly friendless (might be actually?) if that was the case with everyone - NOBODY has as many severe and recurring communication problems as I do, if computer isn't having some sort of crisis then every other device is or am away and have nothing but a partially functional mobile telephone to keep in touch by

Well some emails don't need a reply at all. They're only postcards really, aren't they?

I got into hot water with a (now ex) mate who didn't like it when I didn't keep saying "hahahaha" every time she sent me a round robin joke. Got to the point of her emailing me to ask if she'd offended me, if so she was very very sorry etc.

Good way of making friends and influencing people. I just replied, with a sorry, no idea what you're on about. End of.

Some people check and respond to emails more quickly than others. I make a mental note which people fall into which category.

As a rule of thumb, if I can wait a few days for a response, I send an email. If I need an answer pretty quick, I send a text or call.

I have to say that people who take their time to reply to emails piss me off.

Read it and then take the 10 seconds or, whatever it necessitates, to reply. Surely it's easier than having to remember to come back to it?

the whole point of email is that it's fairly instant.

I've just made that mistake and its cost a life. Literally. This may not seem to some important but it is to me and I'm devastated and wracked with guilt.

I'm a dog rescue volunteer - part of which involves receiving and acting on emails appealing for help in finding pound dogs places in rescue before they are put to sleep. I was sent an email today, asking for help with both funds and to forward the email to other rescuers so that a pound dog could be placed into the safety of boarding kennels at just £5 per night.

I put the email on the back boiler, intending to act on it when the DC were in bed and I could tidy it up so it was more concise.

I've just received another email - the dog has been put to sleep in the pound this evening.

WHY, WHY, WHY didn't I act on it immediately?

Because I get so many like this which aren't as desperate but the writers make out ARE and then keep hassling me.

So, OP, I know how you feel and know only too keenly the problems that those who rudely hassle you can cause.

My computer, up to me when I go on it and when I reply to emails, I don't expect instant answers from my friends either. If I want something done quickly I phone. Computers are temperamental beasts anyway.

I do the batches thing too. Also sometimes I like to have a think about my reply before just hitting send. Particularly if it's a note from a friend or something that has to be "reply all".

The trouble is I then get distracted... and forget to reply.

Just pick up the phone if it's urgent. But don't leave me a voice mail. Vodaphone never let me know I've got any.

Sorry about the dog Vallhala

Vallhala, that's so sad. I do hope the guilt goes - as you said, lots of people hassle you for no good reason and so how were you to know that this case was different? Hardly your fault. Work-related emails I think are a different kettle of fish; I'm talking about emails from friends.

Nancy - yes email is instant, but that doesn't mean we should be ruled by our email, does it? Do you always answer the phone, even during meals? (I hope not; that would drive me mad as I think it's bloody rude). What's wrong with picking up the phone in an urgent situation, rather than hoping that someone might possibly have seen your mail and have nothing else to do except be at your beck and call? And why should you expect everyone to do as you do rather than treat emails in the way that best suits their lives?

Thank you for your kind comments. I admit I'm feeling pretty awful right now.

Merry, my case falls in between work and non-work, as I do what I do as an independent volunteer.

I admit that when it comes to emails from friends and the phone... oh, the bloody phone, always ringing at dinnertime, usually for the DCs... I DO NOT jump to them!

My best mate is a great giggle, talks for England and messages for the UK, and gets a bit stressy when I don't immediately reply or pick up the phone. He's a childless man and doesn't really "get" the fact that family life means you can't always drop everything for a mammoth chat, which pees me off, love him though I do.

I don´t think 3 days is long tbh-unless it said reply immediately!

By Hassled Thu 10-Dec-09 22:50:41
I often leave emails for days and days. I triage them first, obviously.

I like that!

I tend to wait ages to reply to email, aside from work that it. With my private emails I'm not very good, after all I spend all day on the computer at work why would I want to spend all evening on it

I actually communicate with very few people through email and use it mainly as a way of sending info rather than getting hold of someone. If I've sent an email to one of my friends I often text her or she texts me so we know to check.

I missed and therefore didn't read an email annoucing the birth of an old friend's baby. For two weeks. I'm not sure if she's still talking to me now though

She's overseas and I don't have a phone # for her (or address), otherwise I'd call. I did email asking for her address though so I could send a little welcome gift. That was a month ago and she hasn't got back to me so I'm thinking she might be ignoring me.

Otter - don't worry, she's probably so sleep-deprived and loved-up with her newborn that she hasn't even noticed.

YANBU but unfortunately we live in selfish times in a 'me first instantly' era whereby if you don't drop everything to appease someone's text, email, message etc you are considered rude. I much preferred growing up when you didn't have mobiles and if the phone rang during dinner you left it alone and didn't answer it. You aren't rude for not replying - your friend is rude for being stroppy.

I heart Stigaloid!