to expect New Year invite from family after travelling 1500 miles to see them?

[treedoff]

Long journey to see family at Christmas, they've known we were coming for weeks, huge row (at their end) about where Christmas was going to be spent, eventually got sorted, now I find out that on New Year everyone's doing their own thing and nobody's even bothered to ask what we're doing.

AIBU?

im not sure, need more details

YANBU. The good thing is that now you have an excuse to be offended and NEVER make holiday plans with them again. Whenever they make a fuss about where you spend the holidays, bring up this trip and how hurt you were about being left out at New Year's. Then you can spend your holidays doing what YOU want from now on. No more guilt!

Love the constipated cow idea

More details...hmm where to begin without writing a book. We live abroad and get to see the family about twice a year on average.
Last year my dad and his wife came out to see us at quite short notice and we reorganised all our plans to suit them. This year they've decided to spend Christmas with us and then visit other members of the family, who haven't invited us, for NY.
My sister who has also known about our visit for weeks if not months will be going to a NY party at a friend's, but didn't bother to tell me or anything, I only found out because I phoned her.
DH is furious and tbh it wouldn't take much for me to cancel the whole trip even though we've already booked accommodation for two weeks.

YANBU

Are you staying in a hotel? Will they have a NY eve party? Or can they recommend a local restaurant?

Make your own plans and be thankful that it will be the last year.

YANBU.

Go and as americanhag has said, you can use this as a reason not to fall in line with their plans in future years.

They are being incredibly rude IMO!

not hotel, rented flat. Options fairly limited as children v. young.

I've already decided it'll be the last time we bother, but am getting more worked up rather than calming down. Not sure I can go through with the Christmas dinner thing, thinking what I think of them and knowing it'll be the last year.

STOP! Don't do this tree. Don't bind everything up on one poxy night of the year. Christmas is the special event. The family event. New Year is a dead loss - always is and always will be.

You're getting worked up and about to bugger up a special family time for all the wrong reasons. De-emphasise NY and put the focus back on Christmas.

NYE is JUST a few hours on one evening when you think about it.

If you make a fuss, you'll put pressure on everyone and guilt etc and then it will all be ruined. And there will be a bad taste left in everyone's mouth.

IMO.

Agree in part, doodlez. I always tend to take a philosophical view, which is why I've never made a fuss about the umpteen other times that similar things have happened. Got to draw the line somwhere.

Can you not invite some people to where you are staying?

Why not ask out right what the plans for new year are!!

already have mandy! that's when I found out we hadn't even been considered.

Rented flat - presumably with kitchen?

I don't know where you are staying, but I would go to Waitrose/Harrods/M&S and get something really yummy yet easy to make (maybe a ready meal kind of thing), bung in oven, open a couple of bottles of wine and just have a quiet evening in.

NYE is seriously overrated, especially when you have young DC.

Not worth falling out with your family over. Have your family Xmas (by then you will have had enough and be glad to do your own thing on NYE)

I think thats awful!
I would be tempted to just dress up, turn up on her door on the evening in question and say something like 'right where we going then' see what she makes of that...
Did she ask you what you would be doing that evening, does she have kids, prehaps she is expecting you to offer to baby sit that night?