Friends, presents...really don't know if IABU!

[FlamingoBingo]

Gave a good friend a book for a present - thought long and hard about one I thought she'd really like but thought there was a chance she could have it already.

I said to her before she opened it that if she did have it, I'd take it back and exchange it for a book token. When she opened it, she seemed delighted and said she didn't have it and thanked me.

But I just got an email from her saying that it's a really lovely book, but she's leafed through it and she doesn't think it's really something she'll read and do I mind if she takes it back to the shop to choose another one.

AIBU to be a bit miffed about this?

it's a funny one. On the one hand at least she is being honest with you and you did say that you would be happy exchange it (albeit under slightly different circumstances). Hmmmm. If I were her I would have taken the book and either read it anyway or put it on my shelf and been grateful for the gift. Not sure I'd have had the brass balls to write the email to you!

I suppose it it could go either way. It doesn't sound like something worth upsetting a good friendship over so I think I would exchange the book and suck it up. Be the gracious one. Someone has to be

YANBU to be a little hurt, but I guess you can take comfort in the fact that she clearly feels you're close enough friends to be completely honest with each other. She could have lied and said it's a duplicate. Some people are just not very tactful, I guess.

YANBU, it's not like you can tell what the book's going to be like by flicking through and how picky!
I've got a friend who quite often takes presents back, including a silver bracelet from me for her 30th. (she got given 2 other bracelets). I tried not to feel upset, but tbh, telling someone I want to exchange their present is not something I would feel comfortable doing. Some people think nothing of it though!

Perhaps she doesn't have many books..so the wrong book was a big deal.
Or maybe she thought you had spent too much money on her, and didn't want to let you down by not enjoying your choice.

Still, it does sound a very rum comment.YANBU.
I think you can change something if it is too small, you are allergic to it, or you've read it already, or can't make the day scheduled (tickets) but not the wrong taste, smell, colour, shape, sound or choice of play/group.

MisSalToeKisses - that's what I thought, and why I thought I might be BU to be miffed. I wonder if I'd have felt more upset to have suspecter her of lying if she'd exchanged it and I then asked her what she thought of it... and, of course, I'd rather she had something she loved...

Corrie - it's a book about a topic she is a bit of an 'expert' on already, so it could be that she really doesn't think there's anything new in there for her, and she's probably right. She would know by flicking through it.

Oh, in that case I think it's OK, she wants to get maximum use from a present!